Sunday, May 11
Thursday, May 1
oooo....
GEMINI - Irresistible Nice. Love is one of a kind. Great listeners.
Very Good in the you know where... *hoho...*Lover not a fighter, but will still knock you out. Trustworthy. Always happy. Loud. Talkative. Outgoing VERY FORGIVING. Loves to make out. Has a beautiful smile. Generous. Strong. THE MOST IRRESISTIBLE.
see??
I'm IRRESISTABLE!!
wahahahhahah...
interesting...
conggrrrraaatttsss!!
Sunday, April 27
counting down...
the last part of my semester5....
Monday-
one heck of a weird headache-ey exam man!
Tuesday-
i would tink it went pretty well~*winks!*
Wednesday-
hmmmm...headache~aihs... i hate long presentations when i'm the 2nd last to go~
Friday-
dang! kena bang for some tiny winy mistake...haih...
-
haihhh....bad...sticky sticky...narin nt functioning...dunno how to do la!!! luckily mid term and assignment got do...
after this...
internships....
-3niGma-
选择
望着四道墙,
对着天花板发呆时…
在想……
有时真的怀疑,
自己当初硬要闯入私立学院、硬要拿广告设计…
是不是选错了呢?
还有半年就毕业了,下学期就开始实习了。
真的行吗?
这个圈子里的人都好现实啊!
我还能撑多久啊?
没日没夜的…什么都看关系、网络…看外表…看“好处”!
我真的不想要做“坏人”啊~
每次都要带着面具做人。
真的好累。
真的。
真的有“行行出状元”吗?
眼看身边同学朋友一个个出来了,出国了…
什么chemical engineering, industrial engineering, mechanical engineering, pharmacist, science的。。。
自己文凭以前11A,1B,跟人家说我读设计,给人家笑到脸都红。
被人家当面骂我傻,骂我笨,看不起。
好难受。
人家说做广告这个圈,根本不需要读什么书。
我成绩酱,去读个engineering或pharmacy麻好罗!
看见朋友们个个过得那么好,
个个读到那么耿。
心里有点酸酸的…
感觉到自己好象一无所有的。
当初选择追自己的梦,是好事吗?
放弃做人家的扯线娃娃,对吗?
假如那时乖乖听话,好好读家人要得科系。
现在会不会更好呢?
假如当初是选对了,
为何现在要走完了感觉还是好象没方向的?
难道真的走错路了?
Friday, April 25
semester 5
yea...we are at sem5 already, i've been in college for 2 years already.
gosh. in a month time i'll be in my internship.
and in another 3 months would be my final semester for this grueling diploma for ad design.
its been a colourful journey
really has been.
being a science student, adjusting, striving...
stressing...mampusing... everything...
oh the cursing and ranting and wailing and complaining.
wasnt tat bad was it?
wasnt at all.
:)
this is one of those time when i say
no regrets.
Thursday, April 24
mampus-ing
last few weeks of sem 5....
mampus...
stressing~~
rushing asses..... also pening pasal internship...
ish...
did i mention my menses are here too?!
oh the horror....
tummy cramps....
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH~~~~~~!!!!
*runs and bang wall!*
Saturday, April 19
不是男朋友的男朋友 the boyfriend that isn't your boyfriend
after reading it. i realised it does make sense.
it really does!
:)
for those of my banana friends, i'll translate 4 u la...
每一个女孩的身边都有一个不是男朋友的男朋友
beside every girl, there's always a boyfriend who isn't the boyfriend.
但是,为了什么原因你们没能在一起?
but then, why is it that both of you aren't together?!
也许他为了朋友之间的义气,不能追你。
maybe it was because of another friend, he had to let you go.
也许为了顾及家人的意见 ,你们没有在一起。
maybe it was because his family didn't agree, you all had to separate.
也许为了出国深造,他没有要你等他。
maybe he went overseas, and he didn't want you to wait.
也许你们相遇太早,还不懂得珍惜对方。
maybe you all met each other too early, both of you didn't know how to appreciate each other.
也许你们相遇太晚,你们身边已经有了另一个人。
or maybe you all met too late, they already have someone.
也许你回头太迟,对方已不再等待
maybe it was because you turned back too late, and he gave up on waiting.
也许你们彼此在捉摸对方的心,而迟迟无法跨出界线。
maybe you guys just spent all your time guessing, no one took the step forward.
不过即使你们没在一起,你们还是保持了朋友的关系。
no matter wat was the reason , you all still remained friends.
但是你们心底清楚,对这个人,你比朋友还多了一份关心。
deep down both of you knew, that you cared more than just friends, just a little bit more.
即使不能跟他名正言顺的牵着手逛街,你们还是可以做无所不谈的朋友。
eventho you all didn't succeed as a couple, you all are still as close as ever.
他有喜欢的人,你口头上会帮他追,心里却不是很清楚你是不是真的希望他追到。
if he likes someone, you'll help him and giv him advice, eventho deep down ur nt sure if you're doin the right thing or not.
他遇到困难时,你会尽你所能的帮他,不会计较谁又欠了谁。
when any of you had troubles, the other will jump straight in. it doesnt matter who in whose debt.
男女朋友吃醋了,你会安抚他们说你和他只是朋友,但你心中会有那么一丝的不确定。
when your boyfriend gets jealous, you'll always defend him, saying that ur just friends, eventho there is always a sense of doubt.
每个人这辈子,心中都有过这幺一个特别的朋友,很矛盾的行为。
in your whole lifetime, theres always this friend who is really speacial, its really confusing.
一开始你不甘心只做朋友的,但久了,突然发现这样最好。
at first, you'll think its nt fair just to be friends, but after a while, you'll learn that being friends is the best solution.
你宁愿这样关心他,总好过你们在一起而有天会分手。
you rather care for him jus like this everyday, den to risk breaking up.
你宁愿做他的朋友,彼此不会吃醋,才可以真的无所不谈。
you rather jus being friends, where there isnt a need to be jealous at each other at talk about anything.
特别是这样,你还是知道,他永远会关心你的。
only like that, you'll be cartain that he will always care for u. forever.
做不成男女朋友,当他那个特别的朋友,有什么不好呢?
you now you're special in each other's heart, wheres the problem in that?
很多的感情,都因为一厢情愿,最后连朋友都当不成了
in alot of cases, you lose your best friend when it doesnt work out.
常常觉得惋惜,可惜一些本来很好的友情
feeling that its really a pity, coz u were originally best friends.
最后却因为对方的一句喜欢你,如果你没有反应,
jus because of a dumb confession, and you couldn't accept it
这一段友情似乎也难以维持下去,这也难怪有些人会因此不肯踏出这一步。
thats seemed like the end of your friendship, its hard to blame ppl who decide to stick to just being friends.
因为这就像是一场赌注,表白了之后不是成了男女朋友,要不就连朋友都当不成了。
its like a gamble, when u fail to move on, you lose everything.
有些事不是你能预料的,或许对方不在意,你们还可以是朋友,但却已经不如从前的好.
sometimes u jus cant anticipate everything, maybe you all can still be friends, but things will never be the same.
its really common.
risk ruining a friendship.
special friends that u'll noe will never be ur partner.
you'll realise in a lot of times, we'll choose the safer choice.
we'll rather jus watch the other one from afar.
watching over them, guarding them.
coz that all you can ever be.
jus a friend.
sad la...
but it makes sense...
of at least i tink it does la..
wat bout u?
Wednesday, April 16
friends~
i thought of ...... tday.
henry
its been so long since u left. really miss talking to u.one of my best friends. hope ur doin well over there. winter's comin... dun catch cold. take care.
siewkuan
in 15 years time, will u still be there to be my kid's aunt?time flies so many has changed. but wat about us?
mandy
haven't heard from u in a long time. how u coping? hang on k? i know ur stressed. i'm here ya?
lydia
haven't seen or heard from u in ages!! miss ur hugs. dowanna be strangers the nex time we meet.
i saw ......... tday.
siewkuan
missed talking to u. but it does feel like we're drifting away. haih. 3 kingdoms was good. sad show tho. haihs.
syed
god i haven't seen u in ages. scary. wats with the massive amount of bulu's?! i like the handsome clean looking syed! now too much hair d,dunno where to look at.... =.="
ang
u've changed too. thanks for the hugs! ur hugs are the best. take care k? everytime wake up so early...
goh
funny as usual la... damn sarcastic tho. thanks for ur help. love the yumchas sessions. ur the best la. fella cant answer my question without "bombing" ppl wan. "wat u busy wit now?" "business la" "wat business?" "sell chiccken! u wanna advertise for us a?" swt....O.O"
karthik
thanks for jumping in when i needed help k?*hugs!* haven't seen u for so long, i forgot wat a great person u actually are.
today was...satisfying...
:)
caryn
Friday, April 11
transparent
Thursday, April 10
ouch
I treat u with respect. I treat u with dignity. I treat u like a companion. Dare I say it I treated u as one of my best friends. Come to tink of it, I dun tink u’ve ever trusted me. Dun do stuff to ppl which u dun wan ppl to do to u.
it’s the basic.
The very core.
It hurts.
It really does.
Deep down inside, I suddenly feel broken. Alone.
I use to count my lucky stars coz having u around was wat kept me sane in coll.
*ironic aint it?*
Thursday, April 3
Leaving
you have optimism in everything!
evrytime whenever you're around...
we end up laughing non stop.
you light up every situation.
Wednesday, April 2
no brainer~
help~
i cant sleep...
yet my work are piling..
its a mystery aint it?
lols~
i went for an interview tday..
*leaping around in joy*
finally...
it was pretty ok...
far tho...
kelana jaya..
if i were to work there...
sei jor...
my petrol..
ka-chiiing!
see 1st la...
haih...
*hugs!
Monday, March 31
balance
i mean its difficult to maintain a mental balance between work, studies, family, friends and above all some "me-time"...
c'mon... tell me i'm not the only one.
i wake up, do my work... eat... drive to class...have lunch...more class... come home... do more work... and my "body battery" is sure to be empty by midnight.
i hardly *scratch that* rarely see my friends...
talking to my family is even harder...
dont even wanna start on the "quality me time"...
i always start off maintaining the balance...
and slowly edging off the scale a few months down the road.
yikes....
den i go all stressed out... lack of sleep... and go whacko!
wahahahha...
yeaa... it happens every few months.
recently, after realising "ITS GONNA HAPPEN AGAIN!!!"...
i started goin back to temple...dharma classes.
involve in camp stuff...
so... yea..
i may be tired (physically) coz theres more to do...
but it does keep my perspective right...
being with the bunch of dharma friends help keep my brain working properly and mentally SANE...
:)
i guess its time like tis you turn to find the very essence of life itself.
living for myself.
guess i'll always be happier tat way.
*grins*
i may nt be a know it all when it comes to buddhism or the theory of it...
but i'm glad to know... i know the direction of it and the "main points"...
winks.
regards,
caryn
Thursday, March 27
life.
like ALONE.
she's a counsellor u see.
for troubled teens and troubled everything.
and when i'm with her.
she'll always "so, how u've been?"
then she'll psycho analyse me and everything.
after like a while,
you'll tend to blurt out everything.
IN THE END, you always end up crying buckets la...
-.-"
issues.
self values.
life itself.
yeaa... i'm starting to feel like my life is sooooo messed up right now.
doin things i shouldnt be doin...
like watching csi.
not doin things i should be doin...
HOME WORK!!!
staring at 4 walls...
emo-ing...
busying...
but nt wit homework!
wtf?!
ish...
quote
its time you cared more of urself then others.
how can other people love u.
when u cant even appreciate and love urself?
its never a sin to give yourself a pat on the back once in a while.
espeacially when u deserve it.
unquote
i realised I cant be selfish.
i'm a nice person.
a little bit too nice.
almost seem fake.
naive or stupid.
i dunno.
but i seem to be bumping into too many walls recently.
it hurts...
badly.
listening to this new addition to my playlist recently...
other than simple plan and sum41.
i'm a huge fan btw.
wounded
by good charlotte.
its a good song.
not a new song.
but timeless la.
good charlottes song.
anyHOOOoo...
it seems like everytime i feel lost..
or starting to feel lost..
i'll always turn back to the temple.
start goin back for classes.
doin more dhamma work.
i dunno.
adds in the workload. :/
but..
it does give me some balance.
"life" wise...
soo...
CAMP 015.
its from24th may to 28thmay...
for TEENS from 15-20years old...mind u.
and you gotta tao bahasa cina ya sayang.
i'll post up the poster soon.
it'll be fun.
too bad i cant join.
coz i'll be having my internship.
WHICH i belum dapat cari...
mati looooo...
yehyeh nt feeling well after goin to singapore to see my cousins and his great grandson.
haih.
should be fine.
will see him soon.
pretty random tday.
realised my life is pretty packed.
of work and work and more work.
hmm..
i see less of my friends and everyone else.
:(
so...
if ur feeling exxxtra generous and feel like cheering someone up.
CALL ME!!!!
wahahah..
tooodles.
Monday, March 24
desperate!!!
i'm still looking for my job for internship la....
pengsan~
susah la..no body wanna hire me!
swts!
anyway, recently very busy!
temple prefects having their camp on may24-may28.
i'm suppose to be working liao then...
but i see they so busy.
so ma try to help when i can lo...
i tolong they all design t-shirt.
pengsan...
my work sendiri oso belum do.
(kick my own buntut shj)
MEDIA LAW aaaaaaaaaaa....
i tao tia a!!!!
must do...
do dod do...
doin la!!!!!!!!!!
half way ma~~~
-3niGma-
Monday, March 17
friends....
(work wise)
sent out a gazillion CV's / resumes for internship...
haven't had any returns yet tho~
only saatchi n saatchi replied. nt a confirmed reply too...
i'm worried.
but that aside.
i had a blast with my high school group during the weekends!!!
:)
i have nt seen them in ages!!!!
our self named bunch of whackos called "cartoonz"!!
since my dear "lui lui"/daughter/siew kuan so geng,
she got 2A and 2A- for stpm.
so we, the cartoonz (5-1) coz wishan couldn't make it, belanja-ed her for ktv session at red box on sunday.
the suppose to be 2-5pm ktv session became a 2pm-7pm 5HOUR session because no one actually shooo-ed us out!
*blushed*
so we jus went on and on and on and on...
teehee...
we jalan jalan abit...
and siew kuan belanja-ed us back for dinner...
we makan-ed at TGI Fridays...
wahahahhahahahah...
it was awesome la...
miss hanging out with em...
we makan-ed and drank...
munpui went pink!!
wahahah...
after that...we all went back...
siew kuan and munpui follow-ed me back...
and we watched "Perfume" together gether with a HUGE pot of chinese tea...
the whole fiasco finished at around 1am...
the very nex day,
i picked up siew kuan for dinner.
coz mama promised to bring her makan big big.
hmmm...
where to bring her ler???
in the end,
brought her to Rick's Cafe at One Bangsar.
Tuesday, March 11
think think
too much to handle

how am i to keep myself sane?
Saturday, March 1
multiply meeeeeeeeeeee
so...
its www.carynyeo4.multiply.com
wishan...the cny photos are theren too...
:: innocence ::
why is it that as we grow older...
we seem to get more lonelier?
Friday, February 29
new obssesion~
i was hooked on immediatly...
www.deviantart.com
its a online community which features artworks....
from photography to portraits to drawing...
simply love it...
the stuffs featured do have an edge tho...
they're with atitude...
personality...
some are rather eccentric...
some are jus emo...
but they do have their own perspective...
i dunno...
i like it...
i actually am interested in photography...
altho it isnt my major....
sumhow its a way to show the world from ur point of view...
ppl will find me taking pics of all sorts of stuff...
from trees to shadows to shoes...anything...
unfortunately, i dun seem to have the $$ or patience to brush up my photo skills...
hmmmm...
Thursday, February 28
::hiding::
sometimes u just feel like hiding...hoping that the world would just pass u by...
i simply cant tell ppl...
i dont care...
just go away....
leave me alone....
cant i?
i wish i could...
oh well...
updates...
more like downdates...
i've fall sick again...
flu...
sore throat...
fever....
phelgm...
worst of all...
my athsma is back...
i have to use the nebulizer machine for 6 days...
dads worried...
he says tat if i dun take care of my asthma, i'll end up like my amah...
:(
amah died of lungs failure...
she had asthma....
dad tinks its one of it reason her lungs started to fail...
she relied on the nebulizer so constantly toward the end of her days...
like everyday...every 4-6 hours...
bye...
mao tidur
Sunday, February 24
sunday...today...
yup...i have my very own room now...
i've actualy moved in last week...
but there was no bed...-.-"
but as of last night...
the room is complete.

Wednesday, February 20
whirlwind
sometimes i feel like we've difted apart.
i cant tell u " i understand wat u r goin thru" becoz i'm sure thats an understatement.
i have no idea wat u are goin thru.
but i'm sure that u will hold on and be strong for each other.
u all will survive it...
wat ever happens... if u ever need to talk in the middle of the nite...
when ur staring at ur 4 green walls...
u can always msg / call me k?
i'm not sure what i can say to make u feel better..
but i promise i'll be there to listen...
:)
prado!!!
i hope u know that this is for u ya....
how u've been doin...
really miss u k?
do take care...
msg me too...
assignment stressed out nights arent the same witout u...
ur my fighting kawan...
*hugs!
ah teh:
heck, i'm nt even sure if u read my blog anymore.
but... hope ur doin fine over at aussie ok?
i'll miss u....
rmb-ing the days when we use to have the same hair style...
how we use to call each other "brother!"
GOSH...
I'LL MISS THOSE TIMES...
gossiping with u last time...
lepaking a the back of the class...
pls jaga urself k?
u noe i miss u...
wished i could've said goodbye...
so many things happing to me recently...
its been an emotional week...
my own health at stake...
my problems are back again...
so i'm back on medication liao...
sad...
i suddenly realised that so many of my frens are leaving already...
some already left...
gosh...
i saddens me suddenly...
sumhow i regreted nt spending more time on them...
how we jus drifted apart tears my heart into a million pieces...
sad...
watever we sow we reap...
take care ya...
Saturday, February 16
cny visiting with the cartoons!
1st stop
wishan's place
after that...
siewkuan's rumah lastly,
my hse....
.....
....
.....
its amazing how i've known them for the 8th year already...
nostalgic really...
my besties since SMK Tengku Ampuan Rahimah days...
wishan
siewkuan&mandy...
hugs!!!
tengok muka dia~ cartoon nye~~
mandy!!
wishan again..
its amazing...
thru the years...
we fought...
we argued...
we worked together...
we cried...
we drifted apart...
we changed...
i guess everyone does...
its hard to let go....
but i guess it is alright to let go...
not to lose grip on our friendship...
but to stop comparing everything to wat use tobe...
we changed...
we moved on..
we have our diff lives...
our diff cliques...
wat matters now....
is that we still have each other...
Thursday, February 14
valentines'08
we sold cupcakes...
roses...
song dedication...
speaking of valentines...
i have brand new crocs...
please ignore the fact that they are pink ya...
swts...
my dearest tz went to hunt for me...
kesian the fella la...
he dun even like crocs...
and he spent like an hour at the shop choosing for me...
:)
tak puas...
Tuesday, February 12
shrinking circle
why this year angpao macam tak cukup?
haih...
i miss my friends...
napek! wat happen to all my guy friends???!!!
ish.... brudder konon.... all my macho macho guy friends lari liao!!!
*may need to find new ones...*
i'm worried bout my yehyeh....
i hate goodbyes....
*henry..... will miss u like shit la...*
no more lala cheesecake seefuu~
haih....
valentines is around me corner....
why am i worried again???
naaah... he's working... i wont be seeing him la....
gosh i hate leo drama~~~
y must ppl always be sooooooooo frustrating??
nt like i step on their tail oso....
*u where pain now???? quit bugging me!!!*
all these last minute preparation....
ppl expect u to always be on "standby" mode....
haih...
LEO's having a charity event soon...
in march....
it'll be at taylors....
do come...
i helped....
gosh...
random ramblings...
i cant sleep again.....
ish.....
nites....



