please forgive my rantings, i'm in one of those pathetic "why meee??" mode.
no worries, being me i'm gonna bounce back into shape very soon.
ever wondered how unfair the world is?
some people can hav everything they want, yet nvr learn to appreciate them?
some people can work their arse off and still get nthg in return?
people say everything happens for a reason?is it really so?
of course, i've come to terms and accepted that nthg is fair, that we'll jus hav to work our way through it all. today is jus one of those days where it bugs me a little bit more than usual.
I'm not blessed with the healthiest condition.
I'd be the 1st to admit, i've done alot of damage to my body during my highschool/college times with those extreme hours and sleepless-foodless-stress.
i've learnt my lesson.
i really did.
i never skipped meals. i always munch when i know i'll be busy. at least a cup of oats.
i really am making an effort to nurse my stomach back into shape.
its been 2 yrs already. i thought everything would be okay.
on monday, i had this mild discomfort & pain in my abdomen area.
"must be some wind or mild gastric." i thought. drank some milo. drank loads of water and it was okay.
on tuesday, it started again. the pain. it got worse and worse. i started getting dizzy and this massive thumping headache. GGGAAAAWWWDDD!!! felt like there's this fat chicken dancing in my head! my abdomen pain got ffrom bad to worst. i drank oats, had my lunch... continue to drink sumore water... it got better.
tuesday dinner was the bomb, client flew in from HongKong. There's this whole "meet-and-greet-dinner" with the team. i sat down... had my soup.. everything was fine. then the main course, the pain started again. my stomach was like grinding like a washing machine. my face turn pale and i started to have cold sweat. SHIT. i didn't finish my main course, merely giving the reason that the fish was a bit "fishy". The last dish came, i went thru my dessert. trying to distract my thought from my churning agony. talked and chit chat with the people the table. it went okay.
Drove back, halfway passed federal, near the Carlsberg factory. Couldn't take it anymore, I pulled over, puke my guts out. i had to vomit them out. Drank more water to refresh and clear my head.
Last night was one of those nights, i couldn't sleep. sweat keep dripping off my forehead in an aircond room. my legs keep having these mysterious cramps (probably was the most tense sleep i ever had). woke up at 3am, ran to the toilet puked (i can literally see whole mushrooms from my dinner - undigested) =.=. drank more water.
woke up this morn, ate breakfast... the pain started again. I'm almost sure i know whats the problem already! den i puked again... =.= tahu dah...~
i went to the doc, told him what happen. being the family doc, doc J gav me a lecture (again) on "u have to take care of ur body! dont skip meals. u need to eat. u know u gt gastric problems".
sigh. macamlah aku x tahu. :(
i messed up the toilet so bad, mom yelled at me this morning.
until she realised i was having a gastric attack and NOT puking drunk ( i didnt even drink!)
hello my old friends..... :(
i am jealous. of those people who can choose "to eat or not to eat".
i am jealous. of those people who can do whatever they want, eat whatever they want.
i am angry. of those people who are in perfect health and goes on whining how FAT they are.
i am angry. of those people who put themselves through ridiculous diets every day.
i am angry. of those people who still do not appreciate what they have. because i've ruined mine and there's nthg i can do about it.