:: was it meant to be? :: part vi ::

     i don't understand. why am i stil thinking about u? i cant help it! i cant....
i try to forget u... but i dont hav the heart to... 

     everyday he sat there, every single day. waiting for her. scott dropped out 
of school not long after the accident. he wasnt the "studious material" anyway.
but tat did not stop him from thinking about her. he waited in a car right
outside of school. every single day. jus to catch a glimpse of her. just when she
stepped out of school, he'll duck right below the dashboard and he'll reappear
after a few seconds. thats scott. he din want to have anything more to do wit
her. he jus wanted to see her. how is she? she's thinner. exams this year,
must be the pressure. dun give up carrie. u'll manage. i noe u will. theres so
much that he wanted to tell carrie. but no. i'm not gonna reappear in her life
n screw it up again. it wasnt meant to be.

     after a few months, scott started to take up some odd jobs. saloons, phone
shop... stuff like that. the scott tat was out there in the society,
"philandering" would be the best word to describe him. every day, every
few weeks, different gurls were by his side. mayb he changed... naah. mayb
he forgotten callie. mayb its an failed attempt to forget her. mayb he is a
jerk and he'll always be. mayb... i dunno...  he doesnt care anymore. be it
gurls. or girlfrens. or even sex. it doesnt matter to him.

     i heard she's dating some guy in her school now. apparently he doesnt
really give shit bout her. tat son of a... why am i so mad? its obvious she
moved on. its eve obvious so did i. so wat if i dun care bout dem? rebecca
or nicole or connie? truth? i cant remember their name. but at least i'm
trying..... am i? den wat about her?

     scott's confused. night after night he'll worry. everytime rumours spread
to him. he'll worry even more. is he treating her right? wat are his intentions?
why am i worried? she's none of my business anymore... whatever she does,
it no longer has anything to do with me. how her hair short now. its none of
my business. how she looked weird with spiked hair. its none of my business.
how she fool around with jerks and bastards rite outside school. its no longer
any of my business. caught in between. misunderstood. scott din know wat to
do. he misses callie but he knows tat the damage he had done is beyond repair.
he couldn't turn to anyone. no one understood. everyone tot he was a bastard
for doin wat he did. okay... mayb i was!

     but callie never did. she never judged me. some how...some way... she
understood. no matter how messed up the situation was. she never gave up
on scott. n scott knew tat.

     she never judged me. not when i was smoking. not when i was being
childish. not when i dropped out. neither when i was switching gurls like
shirts. she din like it. but she din judge me. its always weird how she
ends up picking up his mixed up signals and his silents cries for help. she's
always been there.

        and i let her go..... one too many times.

     he picked up the phone. but he din call callie. instead it was amanda he
called.
     "hello?"
     "hey amanda? scott here."
     "oh, you... why?"she's being hostile as usual.she never liked me.
     "erm... have u seen carrie lately?"
     "erm.... carrie? y?" she sounded weird. wats wrong?
     "amanda? u there? wats wrong??" scott paniked. please dun. please...
dear god.
     "urm.... she's right here. we're at the hospital. she had stomach ulcers."
 shit... no... gastric?! no... please...
    "scott? u there? scott....? scott?!!"

    there was no reply. he ran. he took his car keys, and he rushed out the
door.

    "nurse, my fren...callie... stomach ulcer..." scott was panting and he couldn't
catch his breath. he paniked.
    "room 2107 sir."
    
    he dashed off as fast as he could. wats wrong wit her? must have skipped
meals again! i told her never to do tat!! why wont she listen?! she never
listen!! he reached the room. room 2107. right before he open the door. he
checked his reflection on the window of the room. she shudnt worry bout me.
do i look ok? ok.... no more panting.. no yelling. casual... i dowanna pressure
her. then jus as he was checking the room. he saw. a guy right beside her bed.
holding her hand.

     scott backed off. he left.

part vii....
comin up.