《老師的十二樣見面禮》

◎簡媜老師在作品《老師的十二樣見面禮》提到的12個禮物

第一樣牙籤。挑出別人的長處。

第二件橡皮筋。保持彈性，每件事情都能完成。

第三件OK繃。恢復別人以及自己受傷的感情。

第四件鉛筆。寫下你每天的願望。

第五件橡皮擦。Everyone makes mistakes and it is OK 。每個人都會犯錯，沒關係的。

第六件口香糖。堅持下去就能完成工作。而且當你嘗試時，你會得到樂趣。

第七件棉花球。提醒你這間教室充滿和善的言語與溫暖的感情。

第八件巧克力。當你沮喪時會讓你舒服些。

第九件面紙。To remind you to help dry someone’s tears，幫別人擦乾眼淚。

第十件金線。記得用友情把我們的心綁在一起。

十一，銅板。To remind you that you are valuable and special。提醒你，你是有價值而且特殊的。

十二，救生員（糖果代替，救生圈形），當你需要談一談時，你可以來找我。

assumptions.

we always judge people.

no matter how much we say we dont.

we do.

its a norm we do.

LV bag - oooh.... high class.

charles & keith - hmmm... stylish practical.

jimmy choo - diva?

happy energetic not bad looking dude - gotta have a gf, else he's gay.

some single apek in the cyber cafe - adult friend finders? O.o

=.=

you see a bubbly chirpy guy who loves colors, he's gay?

you see a uncle with a chinese girl eating dinner, she's a gold digger?

you see a auntie with a young lad shopping, she's cradle snatcher?

lawyers - drunken indians (i'm nt racist)

pharmacist - nice chinese girls

accountants - CINAAA.

designers - sloppy dude, with no routine and an attitude.

interior designers (guy) - gay

advertising?

they're either labeled - wild, slutty, social, drunks, philanderer, sleep around, have parties, alcoholics.

i dun get it.

not everyone's like that.

the work is already difficult enough.

as though the stress isnt already unbearable.

now this?

i'm sick of my friends and family asking,

eh don't go clubbing la.

eh u drink alot a?

dun drink la.

do u smoke?

why u so wild one?

and it pisses me off so bad.

2 yrs of work.

i've been in a club 3 or 4 times.

i do not smoke.

i dun get piss drunk.

i dun fool around.

i kept track of my spendings.

i try to have friends.

i try to be friendly.

i go yumcha, not clubbing.

i dont buy designer labels.

i'm already dead broke as it is.

i've been effing rational!

i've done less that what some normal college kids do every week.

i see ppl getting piss drunk every day.

i still see clubs filled with 20 yr olds.

when i finish work early in the morning, i jam home with a bunch of drunk kids.

i dun mind strangers having that assumption.

i really dun giv a fuck.

but if u still claim u know me, and love me.

then please. don't make assumptions which are as hurtful.

the most hurtful words come from ppl who u care the most.

those sting like a steel knife cutting down your throat.

i dont even wanna explain.

if u understand me, thank you. you have no idea how much that means to me.

if you dont, i'm sorry i've wasted your time.

i'm sorry i've been a failure to you.

as a colleague, as a friend, as a bestie, as your sister, as your daughter.

i'm the king of the world

sometimes i wished the world revolves around me.

i do.

i wish i have that power to control the how the world feels.

i wish i can dictate if you're gonna be happy or not today.

i really do wish.

but in reality. we're so small that it never matters how i feel.

honestly.

u really think the world is gonna stop coz ur hurting?

really?

honestly, u think everyone would be miserable when u had a rough day?

i'm sure everyone knows that life goes on.

unfortunately not alot of people understand it.

i find it delusional to think that way.

so u had a bad day. ok.

take a breathe, talk to some one.

cry urself out.

den take another breathe,

pick urself up.

the world is still moving.

why must others wait on you?

ideal right?

thats how i life my life.

i have bad days.

i have good days.

but i still do wish everyone would have good days, even when i'm having a bad day.

wouldn't u like to see smiles on other ppl's faces?

i would.

if i could make 1 person's day better, that would make my bad day a lil better too.

no?

or am i the delusional one?

i came to see (bang wall smack in my face kinda obvious) that there are mean & selfish ppl around.

those that wouldn't give a fuck about how ur doing.

all they know is they should be the center of the universe.

and all us pathetic fools are merely there to entertain them.

it feels like cold water pouring down on you, dampen any existence of happiness & hope u still have.

criticizing every lil detail and issue.

over what? i still do not know.

coz they're unhappy i guess...

selfish ppl are everywhere.

and there'll never be a cure to make them better, or to make them less bitter.

so how now?

so you're not happy.

i wanna be happy.

i'm desperate.

dont rain on me please.

people come and people go

its amazing how people connect.
as hectic as job can be.

changes

everything is impermanent.
nthg will ever stay the same.

we're humans, adapting is how we survived.

as if you dun feel fugly enough?

----------------------------WARNING-------------------------------
-----------------------RANTING POST AHEAD--------------------

sometimes you say things like
"ah, screw them la~"
"they dunno what they're saying."
"they dun understand ma."

simply because they are outsiders and you wouldn't care about their 2 cents worth / 1 ringgit worth of opinion. simply because they dun mean nuts to you.

i do that too. which is probably why i'm always very detached to alot of ppl.
strangely enough, i'm actually not that indifferent.

what people think do effect me. what people say do hurt me.
its just that only people i deem as "important" has that control over my emotions.
people that matters, family, close friends. they mean the world.
and it jus hurts like a steel knife chugged down your throat when they as things like that.
as u try to not be a baby and be more sporting, you try ur hardest to swallow that steel knife in ur throat without crying or whining.

suck it up babe.
they dun understand.
but shouldnt they?
i mean, this is coming from the same person that'd say smthg like "family means, no matter what shit u end up with, they'll back you up."
really?
doesn't it cracks you up how ironic some situations can be?

i guess, if it doesnt suck, its not life huh?
life is about ppl telling you how inadequate you are.
life is about ppl telling you how you're never good enough.
life is about ppl showing you how they can do better than you.
life is about ppl complaining that you're not trying to hard enough.
life is about ppl judging you if you're worth 2 minutes of their time.
life is about ppl criticizing you in front and behind you.
life is about ppl telling you "u can do it! :)" but actually meaning to say "simple only la, if u cant do it ur plain dumb la"
life is about ppl saying, "try to understand our situation" when they mean "this is nt worth my time, i'm already being nice, please shoooo! go away".
life is about trying to prove to the whole world that ur strong.
while deep down inside, u even doubt the reason and purpose WHY YOU'RE DOING THIS?

looking back, why are these bugging me again?
simply because they echo what i think of myself.
i really do not understand (i try as i may) why do i have so low self worth?
i dun see me being adequate enough. i dun see me being good enough.
i dun see me being... enough.
this amount of self loathing is very destructing.
really.

u can ask the panadols & happy pills i eat daily to stop rashes & thumping headaches.

blergh! too much emotions girl.
take a drink, a deep breath, cry it all out and u're OK to go!
:)

That Okay Song

Hey, it's OK. We gotta live for a better day.
now we give a lil ♥ and we're on our way.
kita kaotim everything. badapalaweh.

u say dun play play, kita mudah lupa baru we say NAY!
now we got a lil ♥, keep it on reply.
U say semua x boleh tapi we all OK. :)

小压与小松

Xiao Ya Yu Xiao Song | Upload Music

Waaaa... Moon Jie Jie & Loving Tree very geng a! Gt song de wo!!
http://lovingtree-family.blogspot.com/

小压与小松 (Lil' Stress & Lil' Relax)
词：邱满媚
曲：陈厚松

松松松 松松松 我怎么担心啦
Lil Relax, why are you worried?
压压压 压压压 深呼吸一下吧
Lil Stress, breathe in deep and stay calm.

松松松 松松松你怎么做到呀
Lil Relax, how do you do it?
压压压 压压压 放松3分钟阿
Lil Stress, chill la for 3 minutes!

有压力有动力 小压不怕啦
A little stress & pressure push you further, don't be afraid of Lil Stress.
有放松有平静 小松做到啦
A little relaxation gives you peace, Lil Relax did it already!

有准备有目标 小压勇敢啦
With preparation you'll aim high, be brave Lil Stress.
有方法有信心 小松快乐啦
With the right methods & confidence, Lil Relax is happy now!

啦啦啦 啦啦啦 我们一同努力吧！
Lalala Lalala Lets work hard together!
啦啦啦 啦啦啦 我们一起加油吧！
Lalala Lalala Lets cheer each other!

啦啦啦 啦啦啦 我们一同努力吧！
Lalala Lalala Lets work hard together!
啦啦啦 啦啦啦 我们一起加油吧！
Lalala Lalala Lets cheer each other!

[在孩子的世界，担心，害怕是他们压力的反应，这是成长过程中必然面对的。我们不希望孩子抗拒，排斥压力，而是希望孩子可以认识另一个生命中重要的方法~~放松。
In a child's eyes, worry and fear is their reaction to stress & pressure. But all these are whats life is made off, everyone goes through it. We do not wish that our children will avoid and reject stress, we hope they will learn to know another important component of life - "Calm yourself".

小压没有放松方法很难独立成长，小松没有目标也很难独立成长。 所以小压与小松需要一起共行，勇敢地面对成长过程，让快乐与爱从心中开始发芽。
Lil Stress will not grow if he cannot find the the way to calm himself down. Lil Relax will not succeed if he cannot find his aims & directions. That's why, Lil Stress & Lil Relax need to work together. Be brave and confront these paths of life and you will grow. Let happiness & love grow from your heart. ]

songs that struck me nowadays.

转变 changes

These days, some songs brings me into perspective. They calm me and sooth me. *breathe* Just sharing some good tunes.

词曲：黄康淇
主唱：黄康淇 小提琴：Lim Hui
制作/编曲/配唱/混音：三明治
OP: Pigeon House Production

---

我曾经悲伤 见到美好一天落幕
I was sadden, seeing some so beautiful come to an end.
我还会犹豫 好与坏如何看清楚
I still doubt, if i cant differentiate the difference between the good and the bad.
原来这些都像 云一般会飘过
But actually all these will float by just like the flying clouds.
转眼化成了雨 回归了大地
In a blink of an eye, they will become rain, coming back full circle to the ground.

我曾经失落 当梦想变成了泡沫
I was depressed, when dreams became nothing but mere fantasies.
我还会疑惑 快乐后又回到落寞
I still struggle with the transitions from happiness to emptiness
原来这些就像 春天盛开的花
But all these are like flowers blooming in spring time
转眼在冬天化成了雪 反照了内心
In a blink of an eye, winter comes and so does snow, reflecting your thoughts and your heart.

~~~~

我在生活中 明白许多还不够
In my life, i understand a lot of things are "never enough"
生命会有起落 欢乐后又悲伤
There will always be ups and downs ; happiness & sadness.
当我开始学习看开 从大地学会自在
When I learn to take a step back and let go, I start to feel freedom.
明白了 终究在 两个极端中 找不到自己
Understand that, we can't find our self in between 2 extremes.
可是我在生活中 明白这些还不够
But in my life, i understand all these are "never enough"
生命会有巨浪 将我再一次沉没
Life will always have huge waves, attempting to drown and sink me in.
但我相信人生是有原因 开始在呼吸间寻找
But I'll believe that all these challenges in life will serve a purpose,
breathe...and you will find them.
生命在手心间伸展出翅膀 学习去飞翔
Life, in your hands, will stretch its wings...
and learn to fly.

~~~~

紧握是执著，放开是自在，
Holding on too tightly, by letting go you'll find comfort,
转换心念则转变人生，视透人生的悲欢起落，
A change of perspective and mindset will change your life, looking through life in all its changes,
我听到自在的生命在声声呼唤
I can hear peace & freedom call me.

择

择 decisions/choices

词曲：黄康淇

主唱：阿顺

吉他：Jamie Wilson 贝斯：Khoon

鼓：Martin Ngim 和声：阿顺

制作/编曲/配唱/混音：三明治

OP: Pigeon House Production

---

在这午夜时分 依然合不着眼的我
its late at night, and you still can't close your eyes to rest.
唯有眼睁睁地让时针转动
staring blankly at the clock on the wall ticking away.
心中的忧虑 和心中的困惑
all the worries and doubts you had,
也该轻轻地搁在一个角落
are put aside to a little corner
过去的烦恼 和如今的难题
frustrations in the past, and issues faced today...
也该随着时针悄悄地逝去
should also go as the clock ticks away.
我们的情怀 和我们的命运
our emotions, and our destiny,
就让今夜的心做决定
let your heart tonight make the decision.
~~~~

告诉自己 什么最重要
tell yourself, what is most important now?
什么该放手 什么该不屈不挠
somethings we need to let go, some we need to strive.

告诉自己 什么最重要
tell yourself, what is more important now?

什么该让因缘来观照
and the rest, lets let fate bring us along.
告诉自己 什么最重要
tell yourself, whats more important to you?
什么该潇洒 什么该用心得到
sometimes we need to be casual and let things go, somethings we need to really put effort to achieve.
告诉自己 什么最重要
tell yourself, whats more important now.
什么该让悲智来觉照
somethings, why not just let love & compassion take the lead?

~~~~

***
人生时刻处在选择的十字路口，
什么时候该做什么、该要什么，
什么时候不做什么、不要什么，
意志与心念，历练我做抉择。
In our journey, we are always stopping at crossroads.
Right now, what should we do? what should we desire?
Right now, what shouldn't be done? what we should let go?
experience, determination & mindful state of mind, will teach you how to make a decision.
***

set me free....

ever wondered how long would it take.
to finally be set free?

here's the ironic part.
no one in hold on but u!

sometimes we get so caught up in every lil emotion and feeling.
and we refuse to let it go.
but to let it dwell and continue fueling - now tats disastrous.

we'd always complain...
why wouldn't u let me go?
why wouldn't you cut me some slack?
why wouldn't you give me a break?
WHY!!!

* breathe*
take a step back.
whose giving who a hard time?

:)
yourself.

70/30 my boss said.
when u tink u've tried ur best, let it go.
no need to push u self till ur against the wall.
why put urself thru such misery, especially over things that u cant control??!!
everything is impermanent.

The only one that can make you happy, truly happy.
is YOURSELF and how u see this world.
NOT how others see u.

Tuesdays with Morrie

Old book... I know.
In fact it's not even mine. :)
but i thank the person who passed me the book.
a teacher indeed.

ever had someone who connected with you from the very start?
no need to be related, no need to be even "besties".
but you'd click instantly. :)
a teacher, a parent, a grandparent or just a friend.
Someone older, patient and wise, who understood you when you were young and searching, helped you see the world as a more profound place, gave you sound advice to help you make your way through it.

As the world got colder, and everything seems so busy. We'd go on and on with our lives chasing things which we think are important. then we get tired.... Wouldn't you like to see that person again, ask the bigger questions that still haunt you, receive wisdom for your busy life today the way you once did when you were younger?

Mitch Albom had that second chance. Months before his death, he met Morrie again. Knowing he was dying, Morrie sees with Mitch in his study every Tuesday, just as they used to back in college. Their rekindled relationship turned into one final "class": lessons in how to live.

A few quotes which hit me right at the spot. i love them indeed.

On Getting Meaning into Life:

"So many people walk around with a meaningless life. They seem half-asleep, even when they're busy doing things they think are important. This is because they're chasing the wrong things. The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning." (p.43)

On Culture:

"People are only mean when they're threatened, and that's what our culture does...And when you get threatened, you start looking out only for yourself. You start making money a god. It is all part of this culture." (p.42)
***
"The culture we have does not make people feel good about themselves. And you have to be strong enough to say if the culture doesn't work, don't buy it." (p.42)

On Status and Showing Off:

"...if you're trying to show off for people at the top, forget it. They will look down on you anyhow. And if you're trying to show off for people at the bottom, forget it. They will only envy you. Status will get you nowhere. Only an open heart will allow you to float equally between everyone." (p.127)

On Being Number Two:

"What's wrong with being number two?" (p.159)

On Material Things:

"Don't cling to things, because everything is impermanent." (p.103)
* * *
"You can't substitute material things for love or for gentleness or for tenderness or for a sense of comradeship." (p.125)

On Family:

"The fact is, there is no foundation, no secure ground, upon which people may stand today if it isn't the family." (p.91)
* * *
"If you don't have the support and love and caring and concern that you get from a family, you don't have much at all. Love is so supremely important." (p.91)

On Emotions:

"If you hold back on the emotions--if you don't allow yourself to go all the way through them--you can never get to being detached, you're too busy being afraid." (p.104)

On Love:

"Love wins. Love always wins." (p.40)
* * *
"Love each other or die." (p.163)

On Relationships:

"There is no formula to relationships. They have to be negotiated in loving ways, with room for both parties, what they want and what they need, what they can do and what their life is like." (p.177,178)

On Forgiveness:

"Forgive yourself before you die. Then forgive others." (p.164)
* * *
"We...need to forgive ourselves...For all the things we didn't do. All the things we should have done. You can't get stuck on the regrets of what should have happened." (p.166)

On Most Important Thing in Life:

"The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in." (p.52)

On Trust:

"...if you are ever going to have other people trust you, you must feel that you can trust them, too--even when you're in the dark." (p.61)

On Friendship:

"...we've had thirty-five years of friendship. You don't need speech or hearing to feel that." (p.71)

On Dying and Living:

"Don't let go too soon but, but don't hang on too long." (p.162)

On Aging:

"You have to find what's good and true and beautiful in your life as it is now. Looking back makes you competitive. And, age is not a competitive issue." (p.120)

On Immortality:

"...love is how you stay alive, even after you are gone." (p.133)

On Marriage:

"...there are a few rules I know to be true about love and marriage: If you don't respect the other person, you're gonna have a lot of trouble. If you don't know how to compromise, you're gonna have a lot of trouble. If you can't talk openly about what goes on between you, you're gonna have a lot of trouble. And if you don't have a common set of values in life, you're gonna have a lot of trouble. Your values must be alike." (p.149)
* * *
"I think marriage is a very important thing to do, and you're missing a hell of a lot if you don't try it." (p.149)

On Death :

"Death ends a life, not a relationship." (p.174)


-Mitch Albom

love. 1 , 2 or 3?

人的一生中要遇见很多人，
In our life, we meet numerous types of people.
茫茫人海中，
amongst all of them
你总要遇见这三个人。
you'd meet these 3 person.

第一个是你最爱的人，
the 1st one, the person you love most.
第二个是最爱你的人，
the 2nd one, the person who'd love you most.
第三个是和你共度一生的人。
and the 3rd, the person that you'd spend the rest of your life with.

首先会遇到最爱的人，
when you meet the one you love most,
然后体会到爱的感觉。
you'd truly know and feel how it is to be in love.
因为了解被爱的感觉，
after you understood how it feels to be loved,
所以才能发现最爱你的人。
that's how you'd find the person who adores & love you most.
当你经历过爱与被爱，
when you've loved & felt loved in return,
学会了爱才知道什么是你最需要的。
you'd learn & understand what is it that you truly needs.
也才会找到最适合你，
then finally you'd find the one person most suitable,
能够和你相处一辈子的人。
to spend the rest of your life.

但是很无奈，
but its quite unfortunate,
在事实生活中，
tat in real life,
这三个人往往不是同一个人。
these 3 person might never be the same person.

最爱你的，
the one who loves you most,
往往不是你最爱的。
might not be the one you's love most.
你最爱的，
the one you love,
往往没有选择你。
for some reason might not have chosen you.
而最长久的，
the longest relationship,
偏偏不是你最爱的，
may not be with the one you love most,
也不是最爱你的。
might not even be the one who'd love you most.
只是在最适合的时间出现的那个人。
just the person who appeared in your life, just at the right timing.

你会是在别人生命中的第几个呢？
what about you? ever wondered if you're number what?

没有人是故意要变心的。
no one would purposely change their heart and leave.
他爱你的时候是真的爱你，
when he loved you, he really did.
可是他不爱你的时候，也是真的不爱你了。
but when he stopped loving you, he really did.
他爱你的时候，没有办法假装不爱你，
when he love you, there was no way he could deny loving you.
同样的，他不爱你的时候，也没有办法假装爱你。
but when he stopped loving you, there was no way that he could pretend to continue loving you.

当一个人不爱你，要离开你。。。
when he says he's leaving you,
你要问自己还爱不爱他？
ask yourself, do you still love him?
如果你也不爱了，
if you don't,
千万不要为了可怜的自尊，而不要离开。
then don't just linger on for the sake of self pity and dignity.
如果你还爱他，
if you still love him,
你应该会希望他过的幸福快乐。
the you'd wish him to find his happiness & bliss.
希望他跟真正爱的人在一起，
hope that he'll find he one for him,
决不阻止。
not to stop him or hold anything against him.

你要阻止他得到真正的幸福，
if you want to stop him from finding his happiness
就表示你已经不爱他了。
perhaps, you dont love him anymore
如果你不爱他，
if you dont
又有什么资格指责他变心呢？
who are you to be angry over the fact that he left? whats the point?

爱不是占有。
to love is never to own.
你喜欢月亮，
if you like the moon,
不可能把月亮拿下来，
you can't just pluck it from the sky
放在面盆里。
and place it i your room.
但月亮的光芒依然会照进你房间。
but the moonlight will still shine into your room every night if you leave the window open.

换句话说，
in other words,
你爱一个人，
if you love a person,
也可以用另一种方式占有。
theres other ways of loving that person.
让爱人成为生命中永恒的回忆。
by having him as a chapter in your life you'd never forget.

如果你真爱一个人，
if you love him,
就要爱他原来的样子。
you'd love him for who he is.
爱他的好，也爱他的坏。
the good and the bad.
爱他的优点，也爱他的缺点。
his good values and his bad habits.
决不能因为爱他，就想让他变成自己希望的样子。
you cant change him to someone else just because you love him.
万一变不成就不爱他了。
and if he cant change you'd love him lesser?

真正爱一个人，是无法说出原因的。
there's no reason actually, if you really love a person.
你只知道，无论何时何地，都希望这个人陪着你。
you just know that, no matter when or where, you'd want to have him by your side.

你呢,找到了第几个？
What about you? How many have you found?

茫茫人海中，
你遇见了你，你又遇见了谁？
amongst all these people,
who have you found? and who has found you?

不能为她穿上 ‘嫁衣’ 请别脱她的 ‘内衣’

Men... think about this.

If you cant give her happiness and forever ever after?
Will you still be with her?

For that very 1st time, would it be as special as it could be?
or would it be just sex?

The title says,
If you can't give her the wedding gown; please don't remove her lingerie.

“拥抱 睡觉 不做爱 那么这个男人是真的爱她...”
偶尔和朋友闲谈，谈到爱 谈到性，
他说他在网上看到这样一句话，“拥抱 睡觉 不做爱”。
我说 “如果是你，你能做到吗？”， 他说 “ 能”，
我，笑怎么能，真的能吗？
如果能，他就不会和别人刚恋爱就上床，刚上床就分手了，呵呵。。。

他告诉我世界上没有爱情，爱只不过是对依恋和习惯的一种修饰 因为寂寞才恋爱 ！
不聊了，话题结束，有些事是不适宜深聊下去的 。
回到家，却还一直想着这句话，
我问妈妈“一个人在一切条件都具备的情况下，
可能和自己心爱的人‘拥抱 睡觉 不做爱吗？’
”妈说:"能"，我问:"有可能控制得住吗，那他还算男人吗?!"
时间突然停滞了几秒,妈妈转过头和我说 "...那才是真男人..."

想到了一篇文章 。。。
和最爱的人在一起一定要做的十件事 ！
其中有一条就是 : 抱着她睡觉,但什么也不做！
什么是真爱?

爱不是性 不是欲 不是占有
如果你真的爱她,你想的不是怎么去占有她的身体,
而是会很小心翼翼的保护她,不让她受一点伤害,
哪怕是自己可能给的,也不可以！

只有出于真爱，你才能真正的设身处地的为她着想。
你才会在做每件事情前考虑到这么做会给她带来什么后果,
而不是简单的想着快感,想着占有,想着满足。

读了一篇散文，觉得有一段写的特别美 ：
"还记得那年暑假的一个晚上,我们坐在小镇河边的公园里,
傻傻的聊到凌晨3点,现在想起来心里总觉得那时侯特别美好,
在那棵桃树下，雨淅沥沥的下着,我们牵着手,我的手心里全是汗水,
但我舍不得放开,我想就这样一直牵下去,雨水淋湿了你的衬衫,
不经意间我隐约看见你湿透的胸口在夜色中象树上含苞欲放的桃花一样,
那时候我真想抱紧你,深深的吻着你,但是我没敢,是我没有勇气,
但我并没有后悔,因为那些美好的情节,
那段朦胧的初恋将永远永远地印在我的心上" ... ...

看到这里你的心中是否也有涌起一丝丝悸动?
是否也想到了一些事? 是否也想起了某个人? 我相信真爱,但我只相信一次 ！
任何人都是这样,心底总有一个永远也忘不了的她,那些清涩的故事,那些傻傻的举动 。 。 。
一旦那份至珍的感情结束了,人就变了,变的无所谓了,
变的世俗了,变的圆滑了,变的不再相信什么狗屁爱情了,
你还会像对待初恋女友那样,小心翼翼的保护着她的第一次吗?!

一次次的控制着自己挑战自己的自制力吗?
不会的,有那个必要吗? 甩了钱,一夜情有的是,做爱其实是件很廉价的事情,
如果你把它的实质只当一种情感的发泄,那它比你给的价钱更廉价,一分钱都不值 ！
如果你不爱她,大可不用考虑那么多,拍拍屁股走人呗,管她那么多,
愿意负责任,我负,不愿意负,我走人 .没有处男膜吧,呵呵。。反正我不损失什么。
女人就是衣服,随便换,天凉快的时候,我都可以不穿,有了钱有了权还怕没女人吗？
如果一个男人这样想了,是的,也许他可以拥有一切,但是----却永远无法拥有真爱了 ！
和每个人一样,也一定有一个女人住在他内心最深处,
只不过却也只能住在他自己的回忆中了,坐在一堆钱上的回忆中了 ... ...

真爱来的不容易
我们还年轻有些事情不是我们该享受的,我们也承担不起请珍惜,爱护身边的她
我们还年轻,学生时代的爱情相对于物欲横流的复杂社会是最真最纯的了，
如果你真的拥有了一份真爱，爱是寂寞撒的慌 。
当你们相爱时，一定慢一点上床，别以为脱了裤子就是爱！
如果这样都是爱，那么扣上皮带也就该拜拜。
做爱容易说爱难~！ 每个人都有初恋，初恋结婚成功率仅为千分之三！

当下大多男人会在婚前有过性行为，然而和你发生关系的女孩子成为你的新娘了吗？
没有？！冲动的惩罚更多的来自于女孩子，怀孕、流产、痛苦、伤心......
当你拥着心爱的女孩子的时候，你有没有想过，当有一天你离开她的时候，
你还能坦然的告诉自己，我曾经是爱她的，她是完整的。我给了她完整的爱？！
当你拥着初恋心爱的女孩儿的时候，望着眼前美丽的胴体，你有没有想过，
当有一天你结婚的时候，你心爱的女孩子告诉你，曾经她有过... ...
你会坦然的面对她，告诉她，没关系，你依然是我今生最美的新娘？！

而当你想起曾经的你的她的时候，你是那么爱她，而你没能给她穿上嫁衣，
你却得到了女孩儿最珍贵的东西，你能没有一丝愧疚吗？
如果你真心爱着她，请不要轻易解开你心爱女孩儿的衣服，
如果你真心爱着她，请不要轻易忘了你曾经的承诺！
如果你真心爱着她，请给她安全的臂弯，给她依靠！
如果你真心爱着她，请善待你们的每一天，让她幸福，让你们开心。

如果有一天，你将独自迎来日出和日落；
如果有一天，你的视线里再也找不到曾经的她的影子。
你却依然可以在你的天空里祝福远方的她过得幸福！
因为，你给了她完整的爱！！！！！

有句话：如果你不能给她穿上嫁衣，请停下脱她衣服的手 ...

http://www.facebook.com/notes/fen-xiang-sharing/bu-neng-wei-ta-chuan-shang-jia-yi-qing-bie-tuo-ta-de-nei-yi/396569952136

us chicks...

i have a best fren who broke up her many yr rship the same time i broke up with him.

its been 6 months.

recently theres this other guy.

he nice, sweet, caring.

totally great & dependable type.

she likes him.

he likes her too.

but they're nt together yet la.

she needed more time.

which comes to my question:

do we really wan companionship?

do we really wanna be loved?

do we really wanna have someone?

or honestly...

do we jus wan some extra attention from the opposite sex?

(its addictive... it really is... adrenelin like even!)

as quote:

"every girl oso likes to be kao-ed wan ma!"

weird dreams.

i've been having loads of dreams about random people lately.
specially guys.

some made my pillow wet.
-those i shant speak of tday-

some jus wake me up in the middle of the night
and go
"eh?? watthe....."
O.o


seriously.
i dun even see some of them anymore.
why do i see them when i'm asleep?
hmmm...
mayb i shud start msg-ing them

see whats up.

女人要的就是安全感

very nice. thx vivian.

很多时候男人们都没有搞懂一件事情，女人要的就是安全感，所以她才肯跟着你，为你洗衣做饭，一辈子守在你身边不离不弃。但是，安全感毕竟太虚无飘渺，可能不少男人又会郁闷——我怎么知道怎么样她才有安全感？尤其是现在的都市女性，看了太多的悲欢离合，安全感似乎成为奢侈品。一个女人的幸福感往往与安全感是联系在一起的。所以，一个男人，如果你能让对方有安全感，那么你的感情就成功了大半。

关于安全感这个问题，男女的看法明显是不同的，女人觉得这个男人有安全感，不会是因为他高大英俊、经济雄厚这些外在条件，而是对方让她有了托付终身的信心，所以她才会心甘情愿地和对方在一起。外在条件或许是她爱上你的理由，但却不是安全感能诞生的原因。都说女人穿戴的衣裳越多越有安全感，但是女人交往的男人越多越没有安全感，所以安全感其实就是衡量有没有爱情的经典标准。女人的安全感来自于对男人的爱，而女人的爱又给了男人安全感。所以，在安全感这个话题中，男人是源泉，女人是主宰。

当你希望在她心中建立起一定的地位，你能否让她觉得有安全感其实就是制胜关键。 　　


1.要懂得尊重女方 　　
不要太多地干涉对方的选择，最好鼓励她发展自己的专长，因为每个人都是一样的，如果做的是自己不喜欢的东西，是不会有激情和干劲的，你觉得好，未必她认为就是最适合自己的。现代好男人的一条重要标准是，尊重所有的女性，包括仅有一面之缘的人。

2.温暖的肢体接触　　
为何女人都爱挽男人的手？因为这样亲密，让人感觉踏实。人其实都有身体的接触欲望，男人女人都一样。掌心、怀抱的温暖，是最令女人印象深刻的，远比什么钻石更能记住一辈子。她一般在想起你时，都多半是想起你的怀抱，所以，不要吝惜拥抱和十指交缠。 　　

3.适时的嘘寒问暖　　
关心体贴每个女人都很受落，但是过分的关心只会让她不胜其烦。她苦恼的时候你好好充当垃圾桶的角色就可以了。有时女人需要的，只是一个能够诉说的对象，说完了就释放出来了，并不一定要求结果。　　
尽量记住她和你提过的朋友的名字，在她遇到困境时，给予你能想到的最好的建议。 　　

4.让她的家人朋友都欣赏你　　
长辈们实在是厉害，眼睛超毒，如果你能赢得她家人、朋友的欣赏，简直就打通了一半。因为女人通常都很容易被身边的人影响，有赞赏你的人，在很多事情上你都会得到很多帮助。　　

5.尽量做到胸襟开阔、宽容忍让　　
虽然现在很多男人因为原先在家就是小太阳，事事要求公平，但是，毕竟女人需要哄，所以请不要太意气用事，如果不是涉及原则，先让步，只有让你们的矛盾平和下来，两人才能冷静下来，再寻求一个解决方法。

6.善待对方的宠物　　
女人们都觉得，喜欢小动物的男人心地善良，能照顾好宠物，肯定也会照顾好自己的家人。如果你实在不喜欢小动物，但是你也不要表现得太明显，可以以婉转温和的方式告诉她，你对毛发过敏之类的理由比较容易被接受。 　　

7.要有运动爱好　　
有某种运动爱好的男人，较容易找到情绪的出口，你让她感觉到是和一个心中有热情的男人在一起，会让她对生活充满信心。我想，没有一个女人喜欢和只爱喝酒发泄的男人整天生活在一起吧。　　

8.让她觉得向你倾诉是安全的　　
如果一个女人能开诚布公地与你沟通，说明你在她心中是有一定地位的。但是你最好懂得什么时候该说话，什么时候该闭嘴。不要害怕表达，可以适当地和她分享你的感受和想法，这样她会觉得你是站在她这边的，内心就会更加依靠你。要让她确信，你不会因为她表达出内心想法而嘲笑她。 　　

9.搞清楚和女性朋友的分界　　
无论男女，都应该有自己的朋友圈子，但是玩暧昧的男人肯定是让女人最为痛恨的。如果你对别的女人不好意思拒绝，那么，迟早她就会毫不可惜地拒绝你。说是虚荣心也好、没安全感也罢，总之，她们都希望自己的男人能始终出现在自己的视线当中、听力范围内。你可以让她知道你来往的朋友是谁，但是你们可以事先沟通好，大家可以在信任的基础上互相给对方空间。适当的时候，给点甜蜜的话吧，很多时候，女人就受你这一套。

losing you.

i wonder how it feels like.
to attend a funeral of a friend who is around your age....

must be darn depressing.
"it could've been you anytime" kinda feeling.

when i went to squiddy kor's dad's funeral...
it was very solemn as his dad was 60 when he passed.
my dad is 59 this year.

it kinda struck me la.
yunno, me being the youngest, my parents arent as young as other ppl.
infact, dont need to compare.
my parents are aging.
as fast as i am growing.

it aches la... really bad.
when i lost my grandma.
i honestly cant imagine losing my parents.
i may not be very close to dem...
but...
i'll feel so lost without dem.

dad went to his friends wife's funeral tday.
felt pretty depressed.
he is at an age where he starts to lose is friends.
i tink this time is the 3rd time.
i'm afraid them number would go down huh...

:(
haih.

the thing about moving on and moving onwards.
you never know who or what you are leaving behind.

薇燕去旅行了

告诉我，我的选择是对的。

告诉我，我的决定是正确的。

告诉我，我应该做什么。

告诉我，我应该怎样走。

因为现在的我，很无助。

因为现在的我，很混乱。

因为现在的我，不知道。

因为现在的我，想不通。

我要什么？

我需要什么？

我想追什么？

我想要什么？

这隐隐约约的痛，会好吗？

这一阵一阵的伤，会少吗？

这很重很重的累，只是短暂的吗？

真的很累。

我不想再想了。

我不想再争了。

我不想再比了。

我不想再撑了。

我真的累了。

也许现在工作，是一个好事。

至少给我点时间，好好歇会儿。

（傻的！做广告的工，歇什么啊？！）

哈哈，朋友。这对我来说，也许是一个好的转变。

不要再烦，成绩如何。

不要再烦，信会受伤。

不要再烦，未来怎样。

只想，自己做好本分就好。

反正只是打份工，可以有个借口不要刻薄自己。

在这里，我学习的还有很多很多。

在这里，换换环境，看看世界。

也不错。

放心，薇燕只是暂时累了。

她是不会放弃学习的。

她是不会放弃前进的。

她是不会放弃的。

她只是想歇会儿。

充电下就好了。

她会照顾自己的。

就当作她去旅行了吧！

三个月的假期。

：〕

routine

its been a long time since i blogged.
everything in my life has become such a routine...
:S

nthg much to blog about.
i wake up. go work. come back. eat. sleep. and go back work the next day.

ahahaha. interesting huh?

i must admit.
i've learn alot from this short attachment.
the issue now is that.... where do i go from here?

as i teacher predicted. i've found myself yet again lost.
i started off with a purpose.
its a great company.
a great profile.
interesting training grounds for a field of work that I love.
opportunities, risks and chances.
but amidst trying to soak in EVERYTHING i can and learn as much...
I still cant figure out what would be my next step.
life at the office has gotten better.
adapting... friends... finding my way around...
its all getting better...
buthen again.
WHAT DO I WANT ?

i honestly cant answer.
and with no definite purpose, least till i find my goal.
it'll be a day by day process whereby i just live as the days goes by.
try to figure out.

living life just for the sake of living it is a bore.
might as well never lived at all.

am i right?