That Okay Song

Hey, it's OK. We gotta live for a better day.
now we give a lil ♥ and we're on our way.
kita kaotim everything. badapalaweh.

u say dun play play, kita mudah lupa baru we say NAY!
now we got a lil ♥, keep it on reply.
U say semua x boleh tapi we all OK. :)

mid autumn festival

every year during this time.

i think of you alot.

how u'd wear the suit "samfu" with pretty flowers.

how u'd make us quilt blankets, everyone of us.

how u'd tell us stories about all the has beens.

and how u'd smile no matter what as long as we're together.

I rmb sitting outside in the garden.

all of us.

as we munched on a whole lot of gift mooncakes.

u'd steam yams and "bull's horns".

we'd drink beer and sweet potato soup.

some groundnuts, char yeh tan (herbal egg) occasionally.

i rmb playing with those litted folded paper tanglungs.

as they sway in the air with the candle burning in them

as we ran out of places to hang them,

u'd forbid us from going anywhere near ur plants.

you have the most beautiful plants and flowers.

you garden was always blooming.

how every pot is delicately and carefully trimmed and taken care off.

indeed it was a garden of love.

and yet, we'd still find ways to ruin it.

i cant rmb how many times my tanglungs burned ur flowers.

yet u'd only be mad a little while.

guess u love me more than them?

hoho.

i really miss u.

really really i do.

as tears welled up in my eyes when i was looking up in the sky today.

i cant help but wonder...

amah, are you still there watching over us?

would u still be around?

i miss u dearly.

as the half moon glisten in the night, tonight the clouds din hide you away.

as the moon shone oh so brightly tonight, my heart ached with emptiness.

how i wished i could jus picked up the phone and call....

"hello amah, slept d a?..."

how i wished that i could drive down to usj and u'd still be there... sitting in the hall watching wahlaitoi.

its been 4 yrs my dear.

4 yrs already.

its evident that we still miss u tremendously.

i really do wish u'd still be here.

You

habit?

got use to it?

why i do sometimes still miss having u around?

urgh.

note to self: will get better.

:(

worth a re-watch

小压与小松

Xiao Ya Yu Xiao Song | Upload Music

Waaaa... Moon Jie Jie & Loving Tree very geng a! Gt song de wo!!
http://lovingtree-family.blogspot.com/

小压与小松 (Lil' Stress & Lil' Relax)
词：邱满媚
曲：陈厚松

松松松 松松松 我怎么担心啦
Lil Relax, why are you worried?
压压压 压压压 深呼吸一下吧
Lil Stress, breathe in deep and stay calm.

松松松 松松松你怎么做到呀
Lil Relax, how do you do it?
压压压 压压压 放松3分钟阿
Lil Stress, chill la for 3 minutes!

有压力有动力 小压不怕啦
A little stress & pressure push you further, don't be afraid of Lil Stress.
有放松有平静 小松做到啦
A little relaxation gives you peace, Lil Relax did it already!

有准备有目标 小压勇敢啦
With preparation you'll aim high, be brave Lil Stress.
有方法有信心 小松快乐啦
With the right methods & confidence, Lil Relax is happy now!

啦啦啦 啦啦啦 我们一同努力吧！
Lalala Lalala Lets work hard together!
啦啦啦 啦啦啦 我们一起加油吧！
Lalala Lalala Lets cheer each other!

啦啦啦 啦啦啦 我们一同努力吧！
Lalala Lalala Lets work hard together!
啦啦啦 啦啦啦 我们一起加油吧！
Lalala Lalala Lets cheer each other!

[在孩子的世界，担心，害怕是他们压力的反应，这是成长过程中必然面对的。我们不希望孩子抗拒，排斥压力，而是希望孩子可以认识另一个生命中重要的方法~~放松。
In a child's eyes, worry and fear is their reaction to stress & pressure. But all these are whats life is made off, everyone goes through it. We do not wish that our children will avoid and reject stress, we hope they will learn to know another important component of life - "Calm yourself".

小压没有放松方法很难独立成长，小松没有目标也很难独立成长。 所以小压与小松需要一起共行，勇敢地面对成长过程，让快乐与爱从心中开始发芽。
Lil Stress will not grow if he cannot find the the way to calm himself down. Lil Relax will not succeed if he cannot find his aims & directions. That's why, Lil Stress & Lil Relax need to work together. Be brave and confront these paths of life and you will grow. Let happiness & love grow from your heart. ]

ice cream

the ice cream man.
nostalgic.

no, not the typical "mat kool mat kool kawan kuuuu!".
the old ice cream, with his bike and a bell that going "tingling-a ling- a ling-a ling"
he din sell cornetto or drumstick all that jazz.
it was icecream.
jagung
yam
strawberry
vanilla
chocolate
on plastic-like cones or even with bread!
THAT ice cream man.

i remember when amah was still around, we'd go walk in Tanjung Emas Muar.
How ice cream melts so fast I usually only manage to eat half of them.
How the wind would blow in your hair while a bunch of young teens would ride along the coast with their bikes.
How the apek uncles would be fishing by the side and I'd spy on them, wondering what the heck would still be alive in that dirty water.
Amah Yehyeh always did shower us with love & care.
Nonetheless, we weren't necessarily spoilt (ok.. maybe just a little)
but we learn to appreciate, love, forgive & respect.
Family comes 1st.
always.

That's what I got from her the most.
Family trips.
How she loved them.
We'd make it a point to travel every year, the whole ching-bang of a family.
from my aunts, to my uncles, cousins & siblings.
Even the ones that are not in Malaysia.
Trips like these always cheers her up.

My grandmother was a very poise lady.
From her cursive writing, her calligraphy, details in her crafts and cross-stitch, even to the way she precisely pronounced her English.
But she is also bold and daring, sporting and most of all loving.
I remember my grandmother drinking Tiger Beers & Ngan Yin groundnuts during one of our gatherings.
wow... boy oh boy.... she is amazing.

Our family trips always had a lot of people.
we're a huge family!
we could easily pao 1 whole floor or 1 whole apartment of 5-6 rooms for our trips.
and every night, we'd bring beer, junk food & snacks over to the HQ room.
where the adults drink and chat, and the kids ... well... we played. :P
those were the days.

endearing and heart warming.
family dinners are worth rushing back to.
family trips are worth making time for.
family are people who'd never turn their backs on you.

family.
:)

p/s: i miss you amah.

放手

很多蝴蝶，我看到；

谢谢你。

“如果我爱你成为你的负担，
如果你想要有翅膀自由飞翔，
我会用我的爱让我离开，
为了你离开你。”

看到了心很痛。

不想再给解释了。

不想再给借口了。

就只是累了。

对不起，伤害了你。

谢谢你，包容了我。

爱。。。 半夜3点了，我又睡不着了。

For you

Remember all the things we wanted
Now all our memories, they're haunted
We were always meant to say goodbye
Even with our fists held high
It never would have worked out right, yeah
We were never meant for do or die... 

I didn't want us to burn out
I didn't come here to hurt you now I can't stop... 

I want you to know
It doesn't matter where we take this road
Someone's gotta go
And I want you to know
You couldn't have loved me better
But I want you to move on
So I'm already gone 

Looking at you makes it harder
But I know that you'll find another
That doesn't always make you wanna cry

It started with the perfect kiss then
We could feel the poison set in
"Perfect" couldn't keep this love alive
You know that I love you so
I love you enough to let you go 

I want you to know
It doesn't matter where we take this road
Someone's gotta go
And I want you to know
You couldn't have loved me better
But I want you to move on
So I'm already gone 

You can't make it feel right
When you know that it's wrong
I'm already gone, already gone
There's no moving on
So I'm already gone

emotions

argh!
i hate emotions.
i hate feeling weak.
i hate it!
hate it!


i hate emptiness.
i hate guilt.
i hate sadness.
i hate pain.
i hate agony.
i hate all these shit.

what about happiness you'd ask?
well, happiness jus makes the emptiness worst doesnt it?

urgh

time to switch mode.

enough said

let's just stop.
too much to handle.

said it.

so... you had a bad day?

having a series of bad days.

hmmmm...

when will they end?

O.o

songs that struck me nowadays.

转变 changes

These days, some songs brings me into perspective. They calm me and sooth me. *breathe* Just sharing some good tunes.

词曲：黄康淇
主唱：黄康淇 小提琴：Lim Hui
制作/编曲/配唱/混音：三明治
OP: Pigeon House Production

---

我曾经悲伤 见到美好一天落幕
I was sadden, seeing some so beautiful come to an end.
我还会犹豫 好与坏如何看清楚
I still doubt, if i cant differentiate the difference between the good and the bad.
原来这些都像 云一般会飘过
But actually all these will float by just like the flying clouds.
转眼化成了雨 回归了大地
In a blink of an eye, they will become rain, coming back full circle to the ground.

我曾经失落 当梦想变成了泡沫
I was depressed, when dreams became nothing but mere fantasies.
我还会疑惑 快乐后又回到落寞
I still struggle with the transitions from happiness to emptiness
原来这些就像 春天盛开的花
But all these are like flowers blooming in spring time
转眼在冬天化成了雪 反照了内心
In a blink of an eye, winter comes and so does snow, reflecting your thoughts and your heart.

~~~~

我在生活中 明白许多还不够
In my life, i understand a lot of things are "never enough"
生命会有起落 欢乐后又悲伤
There will always be ups and downs ; happiness & sadness.
当我开始学习看开 从大地学会自在
When I learn to take a step back and let go, I start to feel freedom.
明白了 终究在 两个极端中 找不到自己
Understand that, we can't find our self in between 2 extremes.
可是我在生活中 明白这些还不够
But in my life, i understand all these are "never enough"
生命会有巨浪 将我再一次沉没
Life will always have huge waves, attempting to drown and sink me in.
但我相信人生是有原因 开始在呼吸间寻找
But I'll believe that all these challenges in life will serve a purpose,
breathe...and you will find them.
生命在手心间伸展出翅膀 学习去飞翔
Life, in your hands, will stretch its wings...
and learn to fly.

~~~~

紧握是执著，放开是自在，
Holding on too tightly, by letting go you'll find comfort,
转换心念则转变人生，视透人生的悲欢起落，
A change of perspective and mindset will change your life, looking through life in all its changes,
我听到自在的生命在声声呼唤
I can hear peace & freedom call me.

The Wish Project

While some of us will reach for the stars,
There will be those who need a helping hand.

Just like the sky that blankets us every night,
The Wish Project allows you to send your wishes,
thoughts, and hopes into cyberspace.

It doesnt matter what others think bout your wish.
What matters most is that it's yours.

Who knows, someone out there could make your wish come true...

When you reach for the stars you may not quite get one, but you won't come up with a handful of mud either.
-Leo Burnett

http://www.leoburnett.com.my/wishes/index.html

痛。

看着你的短讯。
心真得很酸。
真的做错了吗？
我错了吗？

我不懂。
我只知道。。。现在拖着很辛苦。
我不需要你可怜。
我不需要别人代替来爱我。
谢谢你曾经给我幸福。

我了解，我知道。
句号到了。
不能回头了。
那我想要忘记。
我想要彻底。

你会好好的。
没有说谁没有了谁就活不下去。
你会相通的。
你会熬过去的。

缘聚缘散，至少曾经有过。
你会没事的。
照顾自己。
真的。

did you?

ever walked down a long road, and fall into a pit hurting yourself?
i did.

ever since then, you wouldn't dare wander off onto any roads alone again.
you wouldn't dare to ever TRY and skip around an unfamiliar path.
after a few rounds, kinda kill u inside.
you wouldn't dare to have fun; take a risk anymore.

if you know there's gonna be a pit in front.
and you know you can never ever ever go past it.
no matter how you've tried to patch it up or use a rope or build a bridge.
soon... you jus dun even wanna use that road anymore.

沒那麼簡單

希望给了。很多次了。
已经四年了。太多了。
我不信了。我不要了。
我不敢了。我不要天真了。
我不要痛了。