congru....whhhaaaaattt???

Congruence is the state achieved by coming together,
the state of agreement.
The Latin congruere means to come together, agree.
As an abstract term, congruence means similarity between objects.
Congruence, as opposed to equivalence or approximation,
is a relation which implies a kind of equivalence, though not complete equivalence.

erm.... *sigh
if only some things are THAT simple and i can jus Wiki out the answer.

people come. people go

maybe its because i'm new.
but i've come to realise ppl come n go pretty fast in this industry.

maybe its because i'm slightly anti social.
i've grown pretty attached to some characters in the office.
and they are only the selective few.

*sigh

in religion (regardless which), we were always taught to understand & accept changes.
to not hold on too strongly. as alot of things are planned that way, not by us.
think of it as a challenge. to always venture out of ones comfort zone.
to try and learn new things with new people.

its just that.
kinda sad... too not see these people anymore soon.
oh wells.

hopefully... some friendship do prevail.
even outside the office walls.
i'll still wish them the very best.

to better mileage claims.
to better dental benefits!
to better path.
to a happier self.

cheers!

nowadays

its been pretty random.
went out with a few ppl.
had a few dinners with some ppl.
had a few heart warming & conforting discussions.

i love chitchatting at the park at night.
around the playground area.
:)

brings back alot of memories.

webcamming middle of the night aint that bad too.
LOLs.
eventho i tink my puffy face & tears pretty much freak the shit out of my besties.

:)

anyhoo. i've had better days.
then again. i've had worst days too.

so its pretty okay. :)

orgasmic discussion.

random. but funny.

ORGASM

dictionary.com says:
the physical and emotional sensation experienced at the peak of sexual excitation, usually resulting from stimulation of the sexual organ and usually accompanied in the male by ejaculation.

LOLness at my definition of orgasm to mandy. LOL

*u can click the picture to enlarge*

:)

anyhoo. we were refering to David Cook's voice.

Nthg 18sx about it.

:)

there's so much I wanted to say.

You whispered that you were getting tired

Got a look in your eye

Looks a lot like goodbye.

Hold on to your secrets tonight.

Don't want to know

i'm ok with this silence

It's truth that i don't want to hear

You're hiding regret in your smile

There's a storm in your eyes that's been passing for awhile

Hold on to the past tense tonight

Don't say a word

I'm ok with the quiet.

The truth is gonna change everything.

So lie to me and tell me that it's gonna be alright

So lie to me and tell me that we'll make it through the night

I don't mind if you wait before you tear me apart

Look me in the eye
Lie lie lie.

I know that there's no turning back.

If we put too much light on this we'll see through all the cracks.

Let's stay in the dark one more night.

Don't want to know

i'm ok with the silence.

It's truth that i don't want to hear.

So lie to me and tell me that it's gonna be alright

So lie to me and tell me that we'll make it through the night

I don't mind if you wait before you tear me apart

So look me in the eye

And lie lie lie.

Don't want to believe in this ending

Let the cameras roll on

Keep pretending

Tomorrow's all wrong if you walk away

Just stay

So lie to me and tell me that it's gonna be alright

So lie to me and tell me that we'll make it through the night

I don't mind if you wait before you tear me apart

Look me in the eye

And lie lie lie.

So lie to me and tell me that we're gonna be ok

So lie to me and tell me that we'll make it through the day

I don't mind if you wait before you tear me apart

Look me in the eye

And lie lie lie.

feeling a lil lounge-y tday

i've always been old school.
i'm a sucker for rough husky voices.
i'm a sucker for that lil extra bit of facial hair.
lastly, i'm a sucker for jazz & swing.

spent my whole day with a whole lot of saxophone tracks.

taking my mind off some stuff.

zabs been really nice. i had pasta, coffee, lime juice, some pet store time & playground chit chat.
it's been a nice turnaround for a not-so-nice few days.

again

i'm tired
i'm exhausted.

it really hurts.
maybe i have not moved on as well as i thought i did.

now. it jus hurts.
pillows wet as i'm still curled in bed at 4pm on a Monday.
couldn't remember what time i slept.

i need to kick this habit so badly.
i need to do it now.

i wish

boy toy.

mmmMmmmmmmmMMMMMmmmm.

toy boy.

hhhmmmMMmmmmMMMmmmmmmm.

watever man.

nights.
i need some fantasizing & dreaming.

2am

as she walks off.
on to the escalators.

we couldn't help but chase after her by the railing upstairs.
as we silently watch.
the person in white shirt, jeans and orange pack pack and a blue scarf.
all smiles.
as she walks further away from my vision.

tears welled up.

bye april.
i'll miss you.

do come back soon.
*sobs*

30

she this really fierce chick who I've known since form1.
i rmb entering the class, friendless (that time) and she sat at the last row with an empty seat beside her.
i rmb art class and we drew pokemon! bulbasaur!

i rmb times when we use to sit in front of the counseling building or the bicycle area to have our lunch.
she was fierce alright, very fiesty.
very.

if i were to count how many times we end up whacking each other.
i'm not gonna even try because... it is alot.
we normally just annoy each other to shits!

but heck we became friends.
and 1 yr after that. she left to a new school.

we lost contact for a few years, with only occasional telephone calls.
i remember form 4 ( i tink) and the reason for the call was "eh, ur PMR results how a?"
ahahahahah. kiasu nye~

but that phone call was a start of alot of things.
we went out for movies. even if its only once a year.
Harry Potter I think.
she became so banana it was hilarious.
nonetheless, she is still... her. damn bloody garang!!

from movies to pre-chinese new year shopping.
it was still pretty fun. sungai wang. times square. midvalley. :)
very very soon. our little geng had a *plus one.

she and I, we were never very close. like very very close.
but we do share some common interest.
which we can babble about for quite some hours.
it was still pretty distant for me.

When we were in college & form6, we started a group.
called "cartoonfrenz", later shorten to "cartoonz".
the reason why it was "cartoon inspired" could not be explained now.

but we did, and we'd have mass email updates from time to time on each other.
from college to boyfriends, to potential boyfriends, to "should i break up with him" issues.
there were 5 of us:
one in klang (now in serdang), one subang (now in KL), one in Setapak(now in subang), one in Subang (now in Klang) and one in Shah Alam (gonna be in Scotland)

When news came that she was leaving to Scotland (it was 2008).
it kinda struck us that she'll be leaving... again.
that was when we were determined that WE GOTTA MAKE IT SMTHG WORTH RMB-ING!

I want my kids to know that I have Auntie April, Auntie Mandy, Auntie Sherene & Auntie Phoebe in 10 years time!

Then the fun part began!!!
with the "april going off to scotland soon d" reason, we started a whole string to plans on our to-do list!

• we threw a christmas sleepover with beer (for a 1st to us) and slept at the living room while fighting for pillows & blankets!
• we threw surprise bday parties with colorful ballons & DIY steamboat.
• we went shopping more. LOL.
• we had our 1st FOOD adventure to Muar Johor! went to Melacca too!
• we had our 1st hiking trip up Templers Park. Picnic by the waterfalls.
• we celebrated more bdays.
• we had our 1st drink&chill trip to Genting with a very mind boggling drinking game.
• we had our 1st Beach Trip to Kuantan, Pahang.
• along with more KTVs sessions & drinking sessions, celebrations and more bdays!
• and we finally officially celebrated our Cartoonz Day 09.09.09.

no joke! add up our birthdays & devide by 5, we get "9";
add up our birthmonth & devide by 5, we got "9" again!

after 1 whole year (or more) of telling my parents,

"April gonna fly to Scotland soon ma!"

it struck me that you'll be flying away in 30 more hours.

*sobs*

Take care my dear friend.
stay safe.

Do come back soon because we will always miss you a whole lot!

i miss raya

i miss syed.
and all of us anxiously waiting at Kayu to buka puasa.

John, Karthik, Goh, Ang...we didn't puasa la.
Syed did.

It was still really fun.
to be a part. ;)


i remember Tiqa used to invite us over to makan makan.
or so we call Tumpang-Raya.
It was hillariously fun.
I havent seen any of them of almost a year now.

Gosh.
Where have they all gone?

us chicks...

i have a best fren who broke up her many yr rship the same time i broke up with him.

its been 6 months.

recently theres this other guy.

he nice, sweet, caring.

totally great & dependable type.

she likes him.

he likes her too.

but they're nt together yet la.

she needed more time.

which comes to my question:

do we really wan companionship?

do we really wanna be loved?

do we really wanna have someone?

or honestly...

do we jus wan some extra attention from the opposite sex?

(its addictive... it really is... adrenelin like even!)

as quote:

"every girl oso likes to be kao-ed wan ma!"

every girl

April once said .... (nt very long ago)...
"every girl like having someone going after her..."

it feels nice having someone to jaga u, sayang u at times.
least of it all, it feels nice to having meant something to someone.

even mere importance was really nice & warm.

then again, I keep reminding myself wat i set out to do a few months ago.
i told myself that i'd grow up.
i told myself tat this time, i'll take my time.

i have never been single for too long.

normally i'd end up with someone a few months after a break up.

i wonder why. perhaps its jus a yearning for companionship? guess so...

singlehood has brought quite alot of things to perspective to me.
and i need to maintain priorities.

a colleague once told me that he despise reading girls blogs.

simply because girls blog about non issues (to them)...

like boys, hair, fashion, shopping, girlfriends and well...boys.

while guy blogs about informative things and interesting thought of the day.

well, its simply because we operate differently.

girls have strong emotional dependant on alot of thing.

from a crush, to stress to even having period would ruin her mood.

everything and anything has a effect and triggers a string of emotions....

which being girls... we gotta let them out!!

from missing mom's cooking... to partying with friends... to even window shopping.

none of these issues...in a girls blog can be written in a 1 (ONE) sentence statement.

:)

we babble alot.

boys however are more rational & analytical.

they have really brief blogs. if its a post about their day,

it'll be a very simple, point to point DOCUMENTARY like post about their day.

if they like the song. they share the lyrics of the song and says that they like it.

tats tat.

if their interested in animes or figurings,

it'll be a PROFILE of their character or an episode.

thats how simple they are.

ppl say i'm a semi-dude, but i talk about boys sometimes too.

i call him a semi-chick, then again he is a very rational and sincere person.

somehow... i think mix-breed like us...

we tend to survive better. :)

HDU

Yehyeh is out of ICU (Intensive Care Unit).

Doc prescribed meds to ease the conditions h

owever the issue now is that they still don’t know what was wrong in the 1st place.

*sigh

I went to the 4floor HDU (High Dependency Unit) to see him yday.

It relieves me so to see him smile;

to hear him talk (in his adorable toothless way) about the nurses;

to see him smile and laugh

as he was telling us about the nurse who insisted

to have him bathed at 11pm last night.

As we listened attentively to him about the nurse who had to OT to teman him switch wards;

and that he ate chicken soup and barley after so many days on drips,

I felt relieved… yes.

But deep down I’m still worried

as the fact that the docs have yet to diagnose why it happened in the 1st place.

Maybe I’m thinking too much?

I just don’t want him to have to go through this again.

yehyeh updates: the doc came

Doctor came, yehyeh’s small intestines filled with liquid.
Dunno where the liquids came from. Gonna do more tests.

He also prescribed Vitamin K to correct yehyeh’s blood not clotting
and medication to ease his tummy swelling.

What still worries me is that they are trying to stop the problems.
But still no one know WHY it happened in the 1st place.

Yehyeh updates

Yehyeh’s still in ICU,

his stomach is still bloated;

there was blood in his phlegm this morning.

His eyes are rather red due the capillaries breakage.

Early this morning his heartbeat very fast.

I feel awfully bad & concern now.

When grandma was admitted for the last time, I wasn't there.

I was in KL with my friends.

My heart skipped a beat when I heard that yehyeh was admitted.

I feel so bad.

For not being there.

...

HEY!! no rubbish thoughts!!!

stay focus girl!

its gonna be alright.

Yehyeh's in the Hospital

On the 3^rd day when I was in Kuantan,

I received an SMS that my grandpa wasn’t feeling well.

And that he was admitted into the hospital’s ICU.

My heart kinda dropped.

I was driving back from Kuantan.

And I was worried sick.

Kuantan 310809

As some of you might know, I went to Kuantan during our last long weekend with the Cartoonz. It was our very last trip together before April flies to Scotland.

It was fun. I love documenting my friends.

Pictures, Quotes, smiles, doodles.

They mean the world to me.

They really do.

Theme of the trip?

“Think BIG”

teehee…. :)

-hit the waves-
"FASTER LA!!!"
-absolutely candid-
- love it when they smile & laugh-
-siewkuan-

-mandy-

-wishan-

-april-

-them-

-us-

From midnight McD's to lala boys.

From Sing-Out-Loud Jalur Gemilang on Merdeka night to footsie under the sheets!

From sand castles to dead crabs.

:) more photos to come.

7 I'm sorry.

The ex boyfriend used to hate the word "sorry".
Maybe because I've said it too many times.
When i read this from KHui's blog, it really touched me.
Somehow... I thought of Tzer. NOT THAT HE IS LIKE THE MAN IN THE STORY LA!!!
but the fact that he hates the word "sorry" as it doesnt mean anything when you said it too many time.

For my non-chinese-reading friends.
Bear with me, I'll translate when I can k?
Loves.

------------------------------------------------------
男孩和女孩从小就认识，男孩经常约女孩一起去村外的池塘边捉小虾，每次男孩总是满载而归，女孩却是两手空空，女孩总是失落的含着眼泪，独自一个人回到家，然后闷闷不乐。晚饭前，男孩敲响女孩家的门，女孩一见是男孩，扭头就走，男孩追上前，对女孩说：“对不起，我把你的虾都捉走了，给，我把它们养在小鱼缸里，送给你。”女孩眉头一放，慧心的笑了，就这样反复着他们纯纯的童年，转眼，他们各自成长着。
——纯纯的“对不起” 。


男孩总是喜欢戏弄女孩，经常会把女孩逗到哭，然后又去哄女孩到她笑为止，直到长大后，也是如此。
男孩经常偷偷的把女孩的自行车轮胎的气放到没有，然后躲在远处，看女孩着急的走投无路，等着女孩拨通他的手机，然后破口大骂他的小贼行为。可男孩，依旧那么喜欢这样的女孩。他窃窃的从远处走来，灰溜溜的为女孩推着那辆没了气的自行车，任由女孩在一旁发牢骚，男孩却暗自窃喜，然后委屈的对女孩说：“对不起，我知道错了。”随即，女孩便会柔弱下来，告诉男孩下次不允许那样，男孩点头，于是，那时的他们每天都充满着笑容。

—— “对不起”的快乐 。



大学毕业后，男孩和女孩各自有了工作，男孩的工作总是很忙，有时一个月都休息不到一次，而女孩总是抱怨男孩冷落了她，终于，他们有了第一次的吵架。女孩委屈的哭起来，可男孩却很理直气壮的告诉女孩：“这是为了我的工作。”这场冷战持续了很久。终于，女孩还是忍不住，主动和男孩和好了。后来很多次男孩和女孩都因为这样的小事而吵得不可开交，可每次，都是女孩先妥协。
那年，女孩生日，男孩答应女孩要给他过一个浪漫的生日，女孩欣喜不已，她在家精心打扮，等着男孩回来陪她渡过这个美妙的生日，这一等就是凌晨，女孩在睡梦中醒来，脸上挂着泪痕，男孩见到女孩，心疼的为女孩擦去脸庞的泪痕：“对不起，嫁给我好吗？”于是男孩拿出一枚戒指。

—— “对不起”也是一种承诺。



婚后，男孩的事业大有成就，经常有许多应酬，而女孩已经成为一个专职太太了，每天在家为男孩准备热菜热饭，把家里收拾的干干净净，她经常会去菜场买回一些小河虾放在鱼缸里养着，男孩总问他为什么，女孩却总是慧心的一笑。
慢慢的，男孩每次回家，身上总是充满了不同的香水味道，而每次没等女孩问，男孩总是忙着解释说应酬太多。女孩黯然，那时起，女孩不太爱说话了，也不像以前那么开朗了，她总是喜欢成天的呆在家里，抱着枕头看韩剧，然后随着剧情哭泣，夜深时，就会疯狂的大哭。以后的日子里，男孩回来时，身上的香水味只有一种味道了，女孩从来不问，可是男孩依旧说：“对不起，今天又去应酬了。”

—— “对不起”，谎言的开始。


渐渐的，男孩开始不回家，或总是在外出差，男孩的事业越来越好，身边都是奉承的人，他每天都在别人的恭维下自豪的笑着，而女孩，几乎不出门了，她总会去超市买上很多方便面，和一些必要的日用品，然后把自己关在家里，这一呆就是很久。从前，女孩会经常和男孩一起聊聊天，而现在，她孤身一人，身边没有一个可以说话的人，每次打电话问男孩什么时候回家，男孩总是仓促的回答到：“对不起，我太忙了。”女孩，失落的扣上电话，那以后她再也没有问男孩什么时候会回家。

—— “对不起”，只是个敷衍的方式。



女孩学着电视上的样子，开始打扮自己，她觉得男孩不回家，也许是看腻了她，她决定不再颓废，自己的幸福应该靠自己争取，而不是无谓的后退。
那天，女孩心血来潮，按照地址去了男孩工作的地方，那是女孩第一次去，也是唯一的一次。女孩涩涩的按下电梯，来到这个男孩经常说忙的地方，她细细的观察这个公司的每个角落，这里的一切，她都觉得很好看。终于，绕过长长的办公走廊，她来到男孩的办公室，轻轻的推开门……女孩愣住了，眼前看到的不是自己的丈夫，也不是那个经常弄坏她自行车的那个贼小子，更不是那个把虾放在小鱼缸里的男孩，而是一个正在和别的女人做爱的男人。那个女人坐在桌子上，******的发出微弱的呻吟声，那个男人，仿佛山林里饿极了的野兽……
许久，男孩才发现了女孩，男孩惊慌失措，忙把衣裤捡起来穿好。可女孩，转身离开了。男孩飞奔出去，追着女孩，那晚，大雨袭击了整个城市。女孩不顾男孩的叫喊，径直往前跑，往回家的方向跑，男孩在女孩后面大喊：“对不起，我还是爱你的，对不起，我真的只爱你。”可女孩，始终没有听见。

—— 这样的“对不起”太伤人。


男孩一直都没有找到女孩，女孩失踪很久了。男孩的世界已经一片黑暗，无心工作，无心花天酒地，他想不到女孩可以去哪里，因为女孩没有朋友，她唯一的朋友就是男孩，男孩终日守着电话机，手机24小时不关机，怕错过了女孩的电话。这一等就是半年多。
快递为男孩送来一个盒子。
男孩打开一看，里面是许多河虾的标本，有的在树叶边休息，有的在水草里躲着，各式各样的河虾标本，旁边放着一封信。

“ 我始终没有勇气再见到你，可能是我太懦弱，也或许是我根本不想见到你，我想这些『警告：注意文明用语！』应该过的没什么两样吧，我很好，我学会了离开你怎么让自己存活，我懂得了怎样赚钱养活自己，而不用每天等着你回家，为你烧一桌热腾腾的饭菜，直到凉了也不见你的人，我的手机已经不用了，因为我已经不会再为你24小时的不关机，让自己饱受辐射的折磨。我懂得怎样去爱惜自己，珍惜自己的本来应该美好的生活。我想，我是可以忘记怎么去爱你的，因为你把我的爱弄得遍地麟伤。
离婚协议书，就压在鱼缸的底下，你签完字，按照地址给我寄过来就行了。
对不起，我想我是真的累了。”

男孩按照地址找去，他满心希望能够见到女孩，然后让女孩原谅，并且告诉女孩自己不能没有她，可是打开门的却是女孩的父亲，而女孩就站在她父亲的身后——是女孩的遗像。
女孩的父亲告诉男孩，女孩在写完这封信后，跳楼自杀了，血肉一片模糊。

—— 原来“对不起”也可以是种结束。

那一年，男孩疯了。

每个人在自己的生命里头，一定会遇到一个自己真正该珍惜的人。请你好好的珍惜那一个人，不是每一句的对不起，都可以换来每一句的没关系……千万不要辜负了自己心爱的人，那对谁，都不好……把这个故事传下去，让你的朋友们知道，不要随意地说出对不起......

Camp was awesome.

Camp was awesome.

It was a tiring 3 days. But it was nonetheless FUN.

I always loved the temple.

No… not the chanting or the prayers… neither the meditations.

When it comes to these technical stuffs, I’m embarrassed to say I’d fail it all.

But the reason why I love the temple so much,

the pure innocence of the people there.

Here are the group shots. :)

Not forgetting the “artsy fartsy shot” :P

station games.

group shots!

the committee. :)

I got a new CD today. SO addicted to it now!

Will remind myself to share it here some day, once I’ve digested some of the ongoing issues.