:: was it meant to be? :: part viii ::

its over....
she's gone....
i blew it.....
coward....
damned....

callie left the church classes soon after. guess i did end up ditching her.
she din come back. left. gone. naaah...maybe its for the better anyway...
like she'll actually end up wit me?! although he did wished it would've... but
it din...

lost.....

time flies. months gone by without her by my side. scott din call callie. he
din even attempt to find her back. she's better off. it doesnt means tat callie
was forgotten. he thought about her constantly. she was always in his head.
how she always stroke the back of his head when she comes up from behind
him. how her secondary school skirts are flare and they'll fly up like an
umbrella if the winds too strong. how she'd smile at his lame jokes. how
she accepted him as he was when the whole world din...

all i wanted to say was tat i missed u so badly. i love u. i really did. but i
was afraid. afraid tat i would've hurt u. afraid tat being me, i would'nt
appreciate u. afraid tat i would screw up the only good thing tats happened
to me. now i know. there are some feelings between us. neither of us have
ever really told each other. and we shall always remain the best of frens.
but the only one who knows how i really feel is myself. wat would happen if
i told u?

i love u....
i wanna hold u in my arms...
i wanna be the one u would turn to when ur troubled...
i wanna be the one to comfort u n support u....
that....
i wanna be with u....

lying in bed. all scott could think about was how much he regreted wat
he said. all he could think about was how much he wanted to be a part of
callie's life.

if it was meant to be.... things would've been different. if it was meant
to be... they would end up being where they are right now. if it was
meant to be...... they wouldn't be hurting.... yet... if it wasnt meant to be
... y does he miss her so much? it if wasnt meant to be... y izzit tat he felt
tat she misses him too? if it wasnt meant to be.... y is it feeling so right?!!!

he took out the pictures.... every single one. she looks the same. we look
so right.... the vibe was gud... then how can this be wrong when it feels so
right? he ran his fingers thru every faces in the photos. reminicing the
past. how we use to smile like all we need in this whole wide world was each
other. mayb it was wat we needed all along... we were jus too coward to admit
it... i was jus too coward to admit it.

give me two years... i jus need to pick up my life. get everything right. jus
give me two years... and i'll come back. a new man. me at this point. i have no
rights to have u. i dun even dare to say tat i deserve u. jus two years.

jus TWO more years...


part ix....
the end is coming near....