:results:
hehe..i'm satisfied..i guess OF wasnt tat bad at all..i dun tink i deserve an a for my photography...but he gav me an A...yay!! anyhoo...i ht 2a+ and 1 a...my dad was happy..mom jus cant stopi yapping bout wanting me to go f6...*sigh*

:Perth:
i'm off to perth tis evening...hmmm......hope all goes well...

:enigma:

::random::

:nervous:
i'm having butterflies in my tummy!! results r gonna b out!! cry!!

:outing:
i went out tday! wooho..midvalley..jakun ma...wahahha..watched x men 3....woooooo...nice show...left me breathless...but i was a bit rushed..so i din really enjoy d movie due to an empty noisy tummy!! *grin* but tday was fun..had nando's...mmmm.....

:mom:
ARGH!! she's back! and she ain't happy!!waaahhh..i jus went out tday...n went she came back from thai..she straight away launched her lectures!! "y must u go out so often??" (ello?? i hardly go out wan k?? "u finish ur work edi onot?" "dun everyday go out la!" ( waaaaa...where gt everyday?? wat work? sem break la!!) ish...ish...i jus dun get they all la...either i'm pms-ing....or she's mp-ing...haihzzz....

:enigma: signing off!!

wat a bleak day...

tday, 25th May 2008 is a very loooooong day... as u can c from my title: tday was bleak!

started my mornin late...coz i woke up late..wasn't in a mood to get my lazy sorry ...erm... butt *cant curse* outta bed....had maggie mee for lunch...den..i was left wit nthg to do!! i even cleared my room!!! oh yeah..one more thing....my hse ran out of COKE!!!!! no more coke!!! i was gonna faint when i found out i jus finished my last can!!! COKE is my santuary!!! ARGH!!! chat wit aM3 d whole day...i din catch american idol last night and this mornin...obviously aM3 did...and she was super duper hyper!! gawd!!! freaky!! i tinks she's goin to buy over soul patrol very soon!!

anyhoo...to get back on aM3, i spent my whole afternoon as a freaking couch potato!! i've watched american idol twice...on the same channel!!! and i've been watching cartoon network...*stupid powerpuff gals*...disney...*mickey!! on sum whoop spy thingy!!*...nick...*sum gal call garlic or ginger i tink...nice show though*...and crap liddat...*wat?? i was bored!!*

den i went dinner wit my dad coz 2nd sis went to thai...and 1st sis had smthg on...guess where we went?? McD!!!! mmm...i had my usual McEgg...added nuggets tis time..den dad hav a double cheese burger..Hhmmm...highlight of my day!! satisfying meal though...

:enigma:

:23rd May 2006:

hmm...sucky day...Again...dunno...MAY jus ISN'T MY MONTH!! in fact may's worst den April!! i tot April wan drastic..May is even worst!! haihz....

woke up tday wit sum inspiration...hehe...Finally came to a conclusion tat my language is getting out of hand...so...*ahem* TDAY...i'll make it a point to stop cursing..aM3 promised to help..akakak...my angel...she started cursing too lately..say it was our fault..so we'll work together la... i told H about it..he laughed and said its impossible for me to "abstain" from cursing!! akakka...he says its like trying to abstain from sex! i'm like "watthecrap?? how would i noe?"...den he saw my "look" and said it'll be like to stop drinking coka cola permanent!! *btw, i'm a coke junkie!!i'm like addicted!!* soooooo...aM3, we soooo need to make this work ya??

my mom went to Thai tday wit her frens...hmm...so i had lunch wit dad in d afternoon...he bought goreng pisang after tat, then he said "i tink ur mom would've loved tis stall"...ekeke.. i tink daddy missed mom already...*awww*..he's sooo sweet!! went on a double movie marathon tday, watched Chicago and Charlie and the chocolate factory...Chicago was gud but nt as gud as i expected...haihz...CATCF was plain weird..dude..it was freaky wey...at least until the ending la..den its was okie...

took a nap in d afternoon but stupid !?#*!!?*##?!!*#??!!! B woke me up jus coz he was bored!! ish..wanna kill tat fella... *warning, DON"T wake me up when i'm nappin!! bug me when i'm napping and i'll blacklist u!!* ARGH!!!dinner was okie...had dinner wit dad and sis at some mamak shop...plain night la...tata...
nitz...

:enigma:----out

: how was my day?:

tday started off real sucky..my dogs were literally biting each others head off!! i woke up this mornin to find Baby biting Chubs...she bite his ear n neck..my dad tried to separate but he ended up whacking them wit a stick hoping tat they'll let go... in d end, they did, but Baby ended up wit a wound on her head..haihz...i dunno y they fought...haihz..y izzit tat other dogs can live together in harmony but mine cant?? *hmmm..scratch dead*mayb coz Baby feel neglected since Chubs arrival... Chubs a more "expressive" dog...he shows more effection to my family..mayb tats how he keeps scoring points too...*hmm..* i pity Baby though..all her teritory taken by Chubs...*sigh*

went to college tday to do meet up wit aM3 for the "work thingy"...we finally went early tday jus tocatch d McD's breakfast but summit dun sell!!! ARGH!!! watthecrap? MAJOR let down!! anyhoo...we had our "breakfast" and den chit chat...*gawd we do tat alot!!* den we started work...d non smoking signages and d toilet signs!! ahahah..no one ever noes where's our toilets!!

tday wasnt a very productive day..hehe..din get much work done..plus aM3 was obviously tired..she kept yawning n yawning...after we did our research part it was practically jus chilling out again... she helped me wit d chatterbox/tagboard thingy!! awww....so sweet of her...i'm telling u...aM3 is like my angel in disguise!!den we did our usual "sport"...yap n yap n yap....wahahaha...

everything we talked...i dunno y...it was like we've been frens for ages coz we click... its kinda creepy..how can we click so perfectly!! its a "i get her,she gets me"kinda thing...ngah ngah ngah...everything was jus under the sun..nthg to hide...simply lourveeeee it!!! aM3 is such a optimistic person..compare to her, i'm like d queen of darkness!! gawd!! nthg can bring down this ball of sunshine..except herself... but she wun stay emo for very long... she's always so full of spunk and faith! she always believes in d "shut the door,the window opens" theory...haihz...

oh yeah...aM3 belanja-ed my lunch tday!! yay!! we had jap..mmm...nice...mMMmm...but d amount of taugeh was freaky la...coz aM3 doesnt eat taugeh...so i whacked hers as well..akakak...

ended my day watching "i'm nt stupid 2"...gud show... plus i tink tat TOM in the show is cute!! ooo..dark skin, broad shoulders wit dimples!!! i likeee....wahahahh....

nitez my dear world!! i'm off to piggies chocolate world!!!

:enigma:

lonely rainy nights...

sometimes i wake up at night when its raining, frightened and cold...i dunno wat woke me up... mayb its d rain, mayb its d cold, mayb its d thunder...or mayb...its the sheer loneliness alongside wit everything else...

i hate it when i wake up in the middle of the night, i always prefer and prayed that i'll sleep all the way thru... den, i wouldn't have to sit alone in the dark, staring into an empty space... wondering wats wrong wit the world...wats wrong wit ppl...and wats wrong wit me??

being a typical emofying gal...i always think too much... when will my journey alone end? when will god send me some1 to accompany me thru this crap? will i survive this crap? does god knows tat i'm here? mayb he missed me when he was checking...ish..he shud learn from santa...gotta check twice ma!!! i dunno... sometimes i doubt the beautiful stories and movies..does true love really exist?? is there really that perfect someone for everyone? is there really a guy tat will make u smile even if the sky falls down on u? is there really a guy tat will hold u thru the night to kepp u warm and to keep u company? the guy tat will do anything jus so tat ur dreams will come true...whether it is to fly to paris for d eiffel tower or sunset by the beach?some one tat understands and tolerate your weird temper and tantrums... some one tat will wash away your sadness and share your happiness, being wit u thru ur triumph and despair...someone to help u and hold u...pamper you and love you? is there really such a person? or have we been brainwashed by too many disney movies of cinderella and snow white? to many "u jump i jump", "i will love you until the end of time" movies??

dun get me wrong..i appreciate the ppl around me... i appreciate ppl like aM3*hugz*, J*muacks!*, P*hugs*, M*huggies*...loads of ppl... but being a typical emofying gal in the mist of a cold lonely rainy night...haihz...

i'm clueless...u tell me....

:enigma:

the door

gawd!! i'm lovin aM3 more n more every moment!! *hehe..in a very straight normal galfren situation k?* *takde ape ape brokeback ya?*

the door... i'm having sum probz wit a close fren lately...N... he doesnt read my blog...*at least i dun tink he does*...we use to be close...tight frens... d type tat u'll noe he'll catch ur back if shit happens...d type tat will accompany u all nite when i was goin thru a shitty breakup... i've always tot we had smthg goin on...N means alot to me..hes a very gud fren, a companion...nthg mushy..but i really appreciate his pressence around me...

N lives far far far far away...i hardly sees him...though we still mail each other and chat online...i tend to find tat we're nt as tight as i thought we were... he tends to reply very very very slow... reason? too lazy to check mail...*c'mon...we made a pack to mail like every week...i check my mail every week...LAZY??* when ever we chat...i tend to bug him..dunno y...*ok la...i noe y la...I MISS HIM..* and hes always bz wit his assignments...he always say i'm too wound up..he always ask me to "chill and take it easy"...i wish i could... but i feel like i'm losing a fren very close to my heart here....ish...

i've always wanted to ask him...how much does our friendship mean to him? coz it means alot to me..and the way he's reacting..its like hanging me in mid air... if our friendship aint tat important to him... jus tell me.. its hard to find frens tat "click"...and N was one of those frens... but now..it jus felt as though i've been lied to... was there smthg special in our friendship? or was it nthg at all in the 1st place?? gawd...quit lying and tell me the truth...

liars..

its kinda disappointing actually...
this world...
this whole wide world...
its actually full of bloody liars...
thats a fact...

ppl lie...thats a fact...
parents tat say "u can study watever ur dreams are"...
but they'll ask u to do smthg else later...
friends tat say they'll always be there...
but they always disappear when shit happens...
friends tat say "hey, i'm glad i met u. we click!"...
but they'll back stab u within a week...
wat bout so call "family" tat say they're proud of u...
but deep down they tink ur goin down and ur gonna fail...
and guys tat'll promise u d stars and d sun...tat they'll protect u and love u...
they jus wanna get into ur pants ( or at least try to get there)...and boast bout it to their mates...

but who's the biggest liar?
i noe one...


ME...


yup...
yours truly...


i find myself lying shamelessly every single day...
to who??
to me... ... ...

i find myself tellin me every morning tats it gonna b gud tday...
eventhough i noe deep down tat it'll suck tday...again...and again..and again...
i tell myself everyday that it'll b betta...
eventhough it'll still suck everyday...mayb even worst...
i tell myself that God have a very gud life planned out for me..
and that these are jus some bumps and bruises...
but the fact is..i dun even noe if He noes i exist in this little playground of his...
i tell myself that this time it'll work out... this time its okay...
he's a gud guy this time...
i tell myself tat no matter wat i need to take the risk... nthg bad will happen...
i even told myself tat i have nthg to lose...
the fact is...
i have everything to lose...
i risk getting hurt..and getting my heart broken again..
i need to go thru d old painfull memories of bad and "fast" ex...
i need to risk getting lost in this sick sad world...and find my way back to d very start again...
back to the very start...
all over again..

:fours

aiks...got tagged by aM3....haihs

four movies that i can watch over and over and over:
-moulin rouge
-jerry mcguire
-the phantom of the opera
-the sound of music

four places i've lived:
-kuantan, pahang
-muar, johor
-klang, selangor
-in the future, i'll want somewhere in the outskirts. a lil peace and quiet and nature please...

four books i recommend to everyone:
-the phantom of the opera>gaston leroux
-perfect>judith mcnaught
-malice>danielle steel
-little women>too tired to think of the author...aM3 told me b4...

four of my favourite dishes:
-escargot's seafood spegetti
-butter prawns!!! *someone peel for me please!!*
-mom's curry chicken
-udong!! jap fan!!

four sites i visit daily:
-enigmatic-ryn
-friendster
-yahoo mail
-yahoogroups>cartoonfrenz

four places i'd rather b right now:
-on the peak of Mt kinabalu
-gunung ledang please!!!
-Fraser hill's waterfall
-slumberland...zzzz...

four bloggers i'm tagging:
-karen
-eddy
-wei loong
-swee kim

wat a day!!!

my day was like a hike up the rocky mountains tday....

it can b described into afew different stages...
a---normal flat land
b---valley
c---cliff
d---peak
e---valley...again

a----
woke up this mornin early...suppose to go coll n meet aM3 and meet annie to settle the work thingy. so i got up, had breakfast...went on the train...was planning to catch a movie wit her tday..yunno, to cheer her up..coz everything has been bleak lately...den mayb grab lunch wit her...japanese mayb...

b---
"ding dong" i received a msg...aM3 couldn't come!!!!!!!!!!! ish... all plans ruin..haih... but she was sick la..so i cant blame her...haihz...hope u feel better ya gurl!!! *no more pringles junk la!!* akaka...so..i went college alone..wandered around...looked for annie...settled the work thingy..den went hunting for lecturers to inform them of my absence nex semester..haih...bleak...no fun running around college alone...Mr N din called or msg, we wanted to noe bout the posters short listing..haihs....went to settle my subjects exemption wit Mr D...he's super nice...*shrugs*

c---
*aiks!!* THE incident!! cant disclose!! but *aiks!!!!* i'm so not comfortable wit it.i noe it's suppose to b "okay"..but i jus cant...i dunno y...haihz... i'm feeling darn guilty now...

d---
reached home late..haih...went online..opened my email...saw the mail from SEGi coll!!!! they actually chosed one of our designs!!! woohoo!!! i was worried tat when they saw our designs they would jus think "erm..we'll stick to d old wan la..." akakak..but it was accepted!! our designs!! hehehe...as aM3 always say "teehee..."...aakkakak....so membanggakan!*smug*

e---
haih...den after tat bloody arse B called my hse during dinner...parents scolded like crap!! aiks!! wat the hell??? READ LA B!!! its stated in my msn..."away" ;"dinner"...watthecrap??!!!


:enigma:---signing off

18th May 2006 A Walk Down Memory Lane

i met up wit P for lunch tday...she recently started her form 6...poor gal..i made her wait in school sooooo long coz she finished early and i arrived only at 1.30pm....she waited for almost an hour!!! anyhoo...felt huilty plus she super cekap merajuk...akakka...so lunch was my treat.....wat to do?? ahaha..my baby gal ma...ngeh ngeh ngeh...

goin back to school was hard...i din like it...wanted to jus get out b4 i meet any friends n things start getting mushy...haih..i dun handle tears very well..and I MISS HIGH SCHOOL!!!! argh!!! *smack head*

after lunch...we went back to P's place...we spent the whole afternoon jus rolling in her bed...we were in the room till 5.00pm i tink!! GAWD!! gals can talk talk and talk for hours!!! akakkak....i miss her room..it was and STILL is a typical gal chatting area...*emo* i miss her la...we talked bout sooooo many things....her sudden change of mind to go form6...her life now in form 6..my life in coll....guys...we even talked bout CJ in ipoh...and my guy(s) prob....nostalgic la....*sob*

P says that she feel the pressure at home coz her brother jus recently taken his STPM...and it wasn't as gud as he hoped...(c'mon la...3A 1B!! how bad can it b??)but obviously..i was wrong...it was nt enuf for him to persue his dreams of taking pharmacy...*sigh* so yea..its very frustrating for him....sumtimes, it almost seems like he's giving P alot of unwanted stress n pressure..P..yea...she can b quite of a tv addict sumtimes..but she has her own meassures wan la..when the times comes..she'll study wan!! how the hell do u tink her straight 12 A's came from?? *ish..*

i recently came across a Levi's ad...d 501 thingy..and it was stated there..."i'm nt my father's 2nd chance"...and i was like "woohoo...this is cool!!" ngeh ngeh ngeh..abit of a rebel myself...hehe...but hey, thats the fact... ur future is no one's but your own...everythings is actually all in your hands...its not "i'm doin this 4my dad"...or "dad says i gotta do this"....same goes to P's situation...whether she studies or not...whether she scores or not... it should b her choice...*sound cocky n selfish..but yea...it SHUD n tat way*...so wat if u've taken a wrong turn last time?? u shudn't take it all out on d younger generations...get me??

i noe that d bro cares a hell lot for P...her studies, her life...he cares...*in a gud way ya?? :)*a lil mild push from time to time would always b okay...even thoughtfull sumtimes...but mayb he's giving himself alot of pressure too..thats y he's "liddat" recently...his thoughtfullness and caring turned into nagging and nagging n nagging...jus giv him sum time la P...he'll turn around soon enuf...

the relationship between P and her bro is reallt tight..they have some type of "click" and bond despite their fights...when we were still in high school...we'll always hear from P how her bro n her would talk all night when she feels troubled and frustrated...she confides her thoughts and felling to him..and he'll always come up wit a very gud solution..even if he doesn't..jus being there to listen till 4.00am is already gud enuf...!!guess now...places are turned...its time for P to b d "big bro" now... jus standing by him and try talking to him will surly help...let him noe that he already did him best...no use goin for a guilt trip now....haiyah...thats the miracle of a gud relationship...IT WILL B OKAY SOONER OR LATER WAN LA!!!!

akakakka....

:enigma:----gotta go bath!!!!

wat do we really wan?

no more talk of darkness, forget these wide eyes fears...
i'm here, nothing can harm you, my words will warm and calm you...
let me be your freedom, let daylight dry your tears...
i'm here, with you, beside you, to guard you and to guide you...

say you'll love me every waking moment, turn my head with talks of summertime.
say you'll need me with you now and always, promise me that all you say is true...
tats all i ask of you...

let me be your shelter, let me be your light,
you are safe, no one will find you, your fears are far behind you...

all i want is freedom , a world with no more lies,
and you always beside me, to hold me and to hide me...

then say you'll share wit me one love one lifetime...let me lead you from your solitude...
say you need me with you here beside you, anywhere you go let me go too...
tats all i ask of you...

say you'll share with me one love one lifetime...
say the words and i will follow you...
say you love me...

...you know i do...

love me...
thats all i ask of you...

what do we really want? izzit ever really that simple? i wished it was...
was it ever about just finding the guy who will protect you and guard you?
was it ever about that someone who will always stand beside you to support you when you are going to collasp?
or was it about finding the guy who will walk with you, right beside you, all the way till the very end?
is it even possible?
what are we actually looking for?
the quiet guy with beautiful eyes and great big arms to hold you and hug you when you are feeling super low?
or the guy with the dazzling smile that will mesmerize you at 1st sight, the guy that always smiles and brighten up your day even if the sky falls down?
or was it that guynextdoor that stood by you and comforted you when you were goin through a bad breakup?the guy that will always come to fix your computer when it died...the guy who understands you like the back of his hand?

hehe...

complicated..isn't it?

i spent half of my day wit aM3 tday...we r always the typical wandering lost souls that roam coll...dunno y... we did our research thing..the ad thing..discussed it...made plans..had a girlfriend lunch...then we just chilled at the lobby...

i dunno why..but i always like the alone time we share..we click..somehow...and it feels nice to actually have somone that "gets me"...*hugzzz*....sometimes, i rather spend my time wandering around college wit aM3 than to go home and shut myself in the room...its like finding a long lost sister from a far far away land...sometimes i worry myself jus thinking..." what if we weren't bestie anymore? we r so alike... what if we jus tick n piss each other off later?"....*hmmm...* *scratch head*

ANYHOO....we were talking..bout old friends..and old buddies...my cartoon frens..her geng of childhood buddies... and how hard it was to actually make them take time to actually jus sit and chat n spend time with each other...and lastly...we talked about our past relationships..our ex(s)...our family....and what we really want in a guy..(actually, the last one was a frequent topic la...)

and it just got me thinking...

what do i really wan?...but...the fact is..what WE wan isn't exactly wat our FAMILY wans... wat i wan in a guy isn't wat my dad would wan for his daughter...wat i wan may not b wat my mom wans in a family...all the criteria like "smart", "stabil family", family background"...is it really so important? wat happened to "nice", "caring", sweet" and "thoughtful"??wat ever happened to "he loves me or not"??

wat happened to the famous cliche "as long as he makes you happy"?? i jus dun get it..mayb i'm not being practical...but i dun tink tat we shud judge a person by his background..wat about the person tat he is?

sometimes i jus think that parents should jus choose who they really wan in the family and jus adopt him la!! save me the trouble and headache!!

ARGH..!!!

:enigma:----out

:Bond:

Bond...family bonds...now this is a topic which most of my friends jus dun get it...

i'm born in a family where i'm the youngest among all my siblings...and i'm very far apart from my siblings...u see...my eldest brother is 13 years older than me...and my eldest sisters is 11 years older than me...while my 2nd sis is 9 years older than me...i belive that when i was very young, we were all very close *c'mon..who wouldn't b close to cute lil' baby? * but as time goes by, i wasn't as close to them anymore...

we were always in different "phases" in our lives...when i was still playing wit dolls, they r discussing bout girlfriends and boyfriends, school and exams...when i was having boyfriend problems..they're frustrated wit their work and marriage...now i'm in coll...my brother has moved out and he has his own company, my sis is married and my 2nd sis is all into her work...

i really envy the bond and the relationship between my bro n my two sisters... they're always so close...*dun get me wrong..its nt tat my sisters dun care about me....* they still buy me stuff, and ask me bout my school...but thats all..nothing else...* eventhough we are family, there's always a bond between them that i'll never have...i noe that if i screw up they'll b there to back me up..but....its jus tat...they r obligated to back me up...its jus isn't the same...

when my 2nd sis say "screw u!" my elder sis will reply "fuck u!"...but if i were to say "screw u!" my elder sis would say "dun u use that tone on me!!" and slam the door... get the difference???
if my sis were to show my bro the middle finger... my bro would laugh or jud throw dem on to d sofa and sit on them...but if i were to do that, i would end up wit a slap on my face....

sometimes i jus wish that things would change...i jus wished that i was born earlier..or nt to b born at all...wats the use of sisters when u dun even talk to dem? y giv me sisters when i cant even communicate wit dem??

:enigma" ---signing off...

:love:

everybody, they all want to know, which is the true love that they should never let go... especially when they wake up in the middle of the night, when loneliness lingers all around them...

if u really understood what i've jus said, u have a chance and a choice to live ur life in bliss or in misery... especially when u think about your future at night when u cant fall asleep...

if this is true love, you shouldn't turn your back and left me that day, no matter how much it hurts or how many tears you've shed...

if this is really love, everything would be okay... the heart that was broken, tears that were shed and the uncountable night i've stayed awake waiting for u...it wouldn't matter....if this is really love....
.. ~ .. ~ .. ~ .. ~ .. ~ .. ~ .. ~ .. ~ .. ~ .. ~ .. ~ .. ~ .. ~ .. ~ .. ~ .. ~ .. ~ .. ~ .. ~ .. ~ .. ~ .. ~ .. ~ .. ~ .. ~ .. ~

what is love? the relationship between a boyfriend and a girlfriend? between husband and wife? what about the relationship between mother and daughter? even the relationship between friends that had stood by each other for years thru thick and thin? wat about the relationship between u and your pet?

why is it that its so easy to tell ur boyfriend that u love him but its so hard to tell ur mom "i love u"? eventhough ur mom has gav birth to u, brought u up, put up wit ur weird tantrums...y is it so hard to say "thank you mother! i love you"? all the boyfriend did was giv u flowers, chat wit u on the phone for the pass few months...*dun get me wrong, i'm nt saying that the boyfriend isn't important...jus tat, dun u sometimes think tat we tend to NOT giv our parents enuff credit?

who am i to say that u dun giv ur parents enuff credit? heheh..i haven't had a normal conversation wit my mom in ages...i haven't had a talk wit my mom witout yelling n slamming the door since...god noes when...i noe its wrong...but we jus drive each others up the wall!! its not tat i dun care about her, i do..i care about her alot...but...haihz...she's always the wet blanket in my life...telling me that i cant do this...i cant do that...she's always telling me that i'll fall and i'll hurt myself...i noe she cares and shes worried...but...*oh well...this is pure miscommunications la....

fuuuh!!!

haih... super duper long long long weekend....

Thurs- Hosp visit (11-05-06)
it was raining really heavily in the evening...so i ended up goin to the hosp late...decided to get fruits den flowers...and i brought my mom's ever faithfull JUARA Chlorophyll... picked up P...den we went to c M's mom... i haven't seen P since she went to national service...gawd i missed her!! i was SUPPOSE to b like an emo emo gathering..but tday it was different...we were all worried..worried bout M..hows she holding up...worried bout her mom...we were...wel...WORRIED...we went into d hosp...the 8th floor...M was waiting for us..we hugged...n she brought us to c her mom...she was sleeping when we were there so we din wake her up...P, M n me...we jus sat down and talked...we talked bout M's mom's condition...she went thru a 8 hour operation...talked bout P's studies..she still hasn't made up her mind...tats the prob..she too smart!!! haihz...wat oso can study...so now dunno wat to study!! akakak...jk gurl....*muacks!!*

Fri-Wesak Day (12-05-06)
woke up super early coz L2 is giving me a ride to KCBA...and he's arriving at 7.15am!!! hehe...lil piggy me woke up at 7...WOwowowo...the day started flat...i was goin wit the eng group tis year..n i'm wearing the chinese group's prefect shirt...ouch!! felt as though i've betrayed the whole group!! met up with Al in d temple... got the flyers n survey papers n started my day stalking everybody... haihzzz...

the day got betta though when i started to meet soooooo many ppl from my high school!!! SW came wit his st. john JURULATIH uni..WHOA!! din noe he was tat gud!! ekek...we use to sama sama come late for perhimpunan..even tried skipping assembly afew times!! saw both of my kor kor...KY n LY...aww...miss dem so much!! even saw afew scouts seniors!! din wanted any of dem to go home..we hung out...chit chat...haih..but the day has to end sum time...cry...later my high school bestie, sk came over to see us...nostalgic..haven't hung out wit her in ages... really missed the old times!! we had lunch...akak...actually..I had lunch...sk jus watched me...haih..the poor gal nvr eat!!

went to meet up wit my old temple frens...*sob...i've join the temple's sunday school since form1...i've joined the prefectes...actually the whole class joined prefects...ekek..small class wert!! dem i've joined the counseling group...i left last year...went i saw dem..my tears jus started flowing..all the memories all came back....from the happiet to d sad ones..they all played in my head like a sad movie...i was handling it well at 1st...until i saw TZ..gawd!! we go soooo far back...misseded him sooo much..we went thru soo much...the chasing each other around temple phase during form1..den the crushing on each other phase in form2/3....den the becomin besties part in form4...he dropped out of school in form4...poor guy..couldn't stand the pressure his family is giving him....den in form 5 we weren't tat close anymore...we jus grew apart...bitter fights...teary quarrels...oh gosh!!! but when i saw him tat day....it was like the old old times... we hugged...big big big bear hug... he bought me drinks as usual when i dutied to sell flowers under tat freakin hot sun!! it was like crap when i gtg...i when n hugged every single wan of my temple frens...my dhamma/counseling/prefects teacher too.... hugged TZ too..his usual hug n smell hair thing sumtimes freaks me out....but the heck wit it la!!!

went home super duper tired...den followed mom n dad to SJMC to visit a relative...SHE HAS BLADDER CANCER!! watthehell?? wats wit the cancer thing!! she was soooo healthy n active...she's around 70years old and she can still chase chickens around..climb hills...CANCER??!!

Sat & Sun-Muar trip (13&14-05-06)
Muar trip was like usual..."eat eat eat eat eat"... everytime we went back..we never failed to finish our "eating list"...there was laksa in the mornin....den chui kueh "rice cake" later...den carrot cake ....mmmm....den there was lunch...yum...den rojak for tea time....yummy...rushed to my uncle's pre wedding dinner...*slurps*...den went to a famous muar hawker centre "bentayan" for oyster ommelette...and muar otak-otak....and loads of soya bean drinks...and ikan bakar....whoa!!....tats muar...FOOD!!!

found out tday tat my cousin has sum heart prob..i jus dun get it...stop freaking me out wit d health issues already!!!! my cousin, EL is a very very very very *i mean it* very active gal!! gawd..she's a gymnast, a marathon runner, a triathlon swimmer/cyclist/runner...she does rock climbing..she dance...she goes hiking...she goes gym...she even climbed mt. kinabalu recently!! now they tell me tat she has a pulmonary vessel prob and her heart cant pump right...and she gotta hang up her running shoes permanantly...wathehell??!!

2nd day in muar was bleak...hectic coz we were rushing to go to my uncle's luncheon and dinner...slept in hotel in between...even forgotten mothers day!! my mom rufused to talk to me till now..haihz....life!!

:enigma: crashing into bed!!

ironic

haihs...jus came back from buying fruits... i'm goin to visit M's mom...she has stomach cancer...the irony is..SHE'S A NURSE! her cancer is actually a result of an infected stomach ulcer..wowowo..tis is like a serious wake up call for me wey...i've been having gastric n stomach ulcers very often...almost every time there's a major exam goin on...it really scared me..guess i wun b skipping meals for sum time la....

i really admire M though... if i were to b in her situation..i would've broke down...with her mom in the hosp..she has to cook, clean, do all the chores..take care of her brother AND take care of her mom...but she's still ok, very strong...she never questioned anyone for wat has happen upon her..she jus keeps her faith...bless u my dear..stay strong...

P is back from her national service... miss her lots.. kinda miss the whole gang..wwe've known each other since form1...M,S,P,A and me...we use to b sooo close..but recently everyone's been sooo busy...i really missed the good ol days where we would ponteng n run around school avoiding the diciplin teacher...haih...

oh well..we gotta move on...guess my life aint tat bad...i've made new friends in coll and they're all pretty nice...suprisingly, i've actually met up wit "my own kind"... a nerd in creative art...it was a blessing!! a companion, a friend even like a sister....to walk wit me thru tis journey... M3*hugz* its so much fun jus hanging out wit THE GANG...i've learnt so much from them...stuff which a lil' kampung gal from klang would never ever learn by her self...

guessed tats all...tday kinda packed huh?? 1st day wert!! memang hyper wan la!! starting to get addicted too... >.<

enigma---signing off

my very 1st...

finally... it's done... the freaking blog is created...aiks...i've been doin it the whole night!! jus THREE easy steps..and it got me pulling my hairs all over the floor...i've tried the URL add like around 200times..and everything i typed is "unavailable"... suddenly feel so random wey... i came to apoint where i even took the dictionary up!! but..still unavailable..haihs...finally decided to put my name in d end..and it work!!! aiks....

wanted to do this blogging thing ages ago..jus couldn't get my lazy arse out of bed..heheh...anyhoo...thanks allie for the "motivation"...and "inspiration"... akakakak.... eddy's blog too was one of reasons..thanks u guys...!! >.<

i told my family bout this blogging thing... got a hell lot of sarcasism from them... " oh well... she's reluctant to tell her family wats goin on in her life and yet she more than happy to share wit a bunch of strangers..." haihs... not like i've never tried sharing... like they actually listened n understood?? haihz....

yea... guess tats all for now...tata

enigma...out