the door

gawd!! i'm lovin aM3 more n more every moment!! *hehe..in a very straight normal galfren situation k?* *takde ape ape brokeback ya?*

the door... i'm having sum probz wit a close fren lately...N... he doesnt read my blog...*at least i dun tink he does*...we use to be close...tight frens... d type tat u'll noe he'll catch ur back if shit happens...d type tat will accompany u all nite when i was goin thru a shitty breakup... i've always tot we had smthg goin on...N means alot to me..hes a very gud fren, a companion...nthg mushy..but i really appreciate his pressence around me...

N lives far far far far away...i hardly sees him...though we still mail each other and chat online...i tend to find tat we're nt as tight as i thought we were... he tends to reply very very very slow... reason? too lazy to check mail...*c'mon...we made a pack to mail like every week...i check my mail every week...LAZY??* when ever we chat...i tend to bug him..dunno y...*ok la...i noe y la...I MISS HIM..* and hes always bz wit his assignments...he always say i'm too wound up..he always ask me to "chill and take it easy"...i wish i could... but i feel like i'm losing a fren very close to my heart here....ish...

i've always wanted to ask him...how much does our friendship mean to him? coz it means alot to me..and the way he's reacting..its like hanging me in mid air... if our friendship aint tat important to him... jus tell me.. its hard to find frens tat "click"...and N was one of those frens... but now..it jus felt as though i've been lied to... was there smthg special in our friendship? or was it nthg at all in the 1st place?? gawd...quit lying and tell me the truth...