counting down...

counting down the last of my days of agony...
the last part of my semester5....

Monday- Media Law & Ethics Exam *edited 28/4 at3.15pm*
one heck of a weird headache-ey exam man!
Tuesday- Advertising Photography Presentation *edited 29/4 at 5.45pm*
i would tink it went pretty well~*winks!*
Wednesday- Advertising Creativity Presentation *edited 30/4 at 4.45pm*
hmmmm...headache~aihs... i hate long presentations when i'm the 2nd last to go~
Friday- Research Methodology Presentation (am) *edited 2/5 at 6.45pm*
dang! kena bang for some tiny winy mistake...haih...
- Public Relations Exam (pm) *edited 2/5 at 6.45pm*
haihhh....bad...sticky sticky...narin nt functioning...dunno how to do la!!! luckily mid term and assignment got do...

after this...
internships....

-3niGma-

选择

有时自己一个人，
望着四道墙，
对着天花板发呆时…
在想……

有时真的怀疑，
自己当初硬要闯入私立学院、硬要拿广告设计…
是不是选错了呢？
还有半年就毕业了，下学期就开始实习了。
真的行吗？

这个圈子里的人都好现实啊！
我还能撑多久啊？
没日没夜的…什么都看关系、网络…看外表…看“好处”！
我真的不想要做“坏人”啊～
每次都要带着面具做人。
真的好累。
真的。


真的有“行行出状元”吗？


眼看身边同学朋友一个个出来了，出国了…
什么chemical engineering, industrial engineering, mechanical engineering, pharmacist, science的。。。
自己文凭以前11A,1B，跟人家说我读设计，给人家笑到脸都红。
被人家当面骂我傻，骂我笨，看不起。
好难受。
人家说做广告这个圈，根本不需要读什么书。
我成绩酱，去读个engineering或pharmacy麻好罗！

看见朋友们个个过得那么好，
个个读到那么耿。
心里有点酸酸的…
感觉到自己好象一无所有的。

当初选择追自己的梦，是好事吗？
放弃做人家的扯线娃娃，对吗？
假如那时乖乖听话，好好读家人要得科系。
现在会不会更好呢？


假如当初是选对了，
为何现在要走完了感觉还是好象没方向的？

难道真的走错路了？

semester 5

wat allie said struck me at point blank jus now.
yea...we are at sem5 already, i've been in college for 2 years already.
gosh. in a month time i'll be in my internship.
and in another 3 months would be my final semester for this grueling diploma for ad design.

its been a colourful journey
really has been.
being a science student, adjusting, striving...
stressing...mampusing... everything...
oh the cursing and ranting and wailing and complaining.
wasnt tat bad was it?
wasnt at all.
:)

this is one of those time when i say
no regrets.

mampus-ing

whoa....headache..massive...

last few weeks of sem 5....
mampus...

stressing~~

rushing asses..... also pening pasal internship...

ish...
did i mention my menses are here too?!
oh the horror....
tummy cramps....
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH~~~~~~!!!!

*runs and bang wall!*

不是男朋友的男朋友 the boyfriend that isn't your boyfriend

i found this in a friend's blog.
after reading it. i realised it does make sense.
it really does!
:)

for those of my banana friends, i'll translate 4 u la...

每一个女孩的身边都有一个不是男朋友的男朋友
beside every girl, there's always a boyfriend who isn't the boyfriend.

但是，为了什么原因你们没能在一起？
but then, why is it that both of you aren't together?!

也许他为了朋友之间的义气，不能追你。
maybe it was because of another friend, he had to let you go.

也许为了顾及家人的意见 ，你们没有在一起。
maybe it was because his family didn't agree, you all had to separate.

也许为了出国深造，他没有要你等他。
maybe he went overseas, and he didn't want you to wait.

也许你们相遇太早，还不懂得珍惜对方。
maybe you all met each other too early, both of you didn't know how to appreciate each other.

也许你们相遇太晚，你们身边已经有了另一个人。
or maybe you all met too late, they already have someone.

也许你回头太迟，对方已不再等待
maybe it was because you turned back too late, and he gave up on waiting.

也许你们彼此在捉摸对方的心，而迟迟无法跨出界线。
maybe you guys just spent all your time guessing, no one took the step forward.

不过即使你们没在一起，你们还是保持了朋友的关系。
no matter wat was the reason , you all still remained friends.

但是你们心底清楚，对这个人，你比朋友还多了一份关心。
deep down both of you knew, that you cared more than just friends, just a little bit more.

即使不能跟他名正言顺的牵着手逛街，你们还是可以做无所不谈的朋友。
eventho you all didn't succeed as a couple, you all are still as close as ever.

他有喜欢的人，你口头上会帮他追，心里却不是很清楚你是不是真的希望他追到。
if he likes someone, you'll help him and giv him advice, eventho deep down ur nt sure if you're doin the right thing or not.

他遇到困难时，你会尽你所能的帮他，不会计较谁又欠了谁。
when any of you had troubles, the other will jump straight in. it doesnt matter who in whose debt.

男女朋友吃醋了，你会安抚他们说你和他只是朋友，但你心中会有那么一丝的不确定。
when your boyfriend gets jealous, you'll always defend him, saying that ur just friends, eventho there is always a sense of doubt.

每个人这辈子，心中都有过这幺一个特别的朋友，很矛盾的行为。
in your whole lifetime, theres always this friend who is really speacial, its really confusing.

一开始你不甘心只做朋友的，但久了，突然发现这样最好。
at first, you'll think its nt fair just to be friends, but after a while, you'll learn that being friends is the best solution.

你宁愿这样关心他，总好过你们在一起而有天会分手。
you rather care for him jus like this everyday, den to risk breaking up.

你宁愿做他的朋友，彼此不会吃醋，才可以真的无所不谈。
you rather jus being friends, where there isnt a need to be jealous at each other at talk about anything.

特别是这样，你还是知道，他永远会关心你的。
only like that, you'll be cartain that he will always care for u. forever.

做不成男女朋友，当他那个特别的朋友，有什么不好呢？
you now you're special in each other's heart, wheres the problem in that?

很多的感情，都因为一厢情愿，最后连朋友都当不成了
in alot of cases, you lose your best friend when it doesnt work out.

常常觉得惋惜，可惜一些本来很好的友情
feeling that its really a pity, coz u were originally best friends.

最后却因为对方的一句喜欢你，如果你没有反应，
jus because of a dumb confession, and you couldn't accept it

这一段友情似乎也难以维持下去，这也难怪有些人会因此不肯踏出这一步。
thats seemed like the end of your friendship, its hard to blame ppl who decide to stick to just being friends.

因为这就像是一场赌注，表白了之后不是成了男女朋友，要不就连朋友都当不成了。
its like a gamble, when u fail to move on, you lose everything.

有些事不是你能预料的，或许对方不在意，你们还可以是朋友，但却已经不如从前的好.
sometimes u jus cant anticipate everything, maybe you all can still be friends, but things will never be the same.

its really common.
risk ruining a friendship.
special friends that u'll noe will never be ur partner.
you'll realise in a lot of times, we'll choose the safer choice.
we'll rather jus watch the other one from afar.
watching over them, guarding them.
coz that all you can ever be.
jus a friend.

sad la...
but it makes sense...
of at least i tink it does la..
wat bout u?

friends~

friends.

i thought of ...... tday.

henry
its been so long since u left. really miss talking to u.one of my best friends. hope ur doin well over there. winter's comin... dun catch cold. take care.

siewkuan
in 15 years time, will u still be there to be my kid's aunt?time flies so many has changed. but wat about us?

mandy
haven't heard from u in a long time. how u coping? hang on k? i know ur stressed. i'm here ya?

lydia
haven't seen or heard from u in ages!! miss ur hugs. dowanna be strangers the nex time we meet.

i saw ......... tday.

siewkuan
missed talking to u. but it does feel like we're drifting away. haih. 3 kingdoms was good. sad show tho. haihs.

syed
god i haven't seen u in ages. scary. wats with the massive amount of bulu's?! i like the handsome clean looking syed! now too much hair d,dunno where to look at.... =.="

ang
u've changed too. thanks for the hugs! ur hugs are the best. take care k? everytime wake up so early...

goh
funny as usual la... damn sarcastic tho. thanks for ur help. love the yumchas sessions. ur the best la. fella cant answer my question without "bombing" ppl wan. "wat u busy wit now?" "business la" "wat business?" "sell chiccken! u wanna advertise for us a?" swt....O.O"

karthik
thanks for jumping in when i needed help k?*hugs!* haven't seen u for so long, i forgot wat a great person u actually are.


today was...satisfying...
:)

caryn

transparent

we need to clear things up.

we really do.

i dun get it.

aimless.

pointless.

hypocritical.

is it worth it?

i really dun know.

is this how its gonna be after 2 years of friendship?

ouch

It hurts.It really does.Ppl can be really selfish sometimes huh?Guess it’ll always be that way.Mayb I’m jus too naïve.And u said that I’m the realistic wan.How ironic is tat?Y must ppl lie?I simply dun get it.Is it that they feel intimidated?or is it that they’re jus too selfish?Y the hell must ppl lie?I tot u were different.I thought we were different.Mayb I’m jus too gullible.To tink that we were on leveled planes.To actually think tat “yunno wat, it aint a competition”.Guess I was wrong.Cant blame u.ppl are selfish. Its always a dog eat dog world. It always have been.I’m jus dumb.Who am I kidding?You have no idea how mad I was.I blasted the radio and I went back at 130 km/hour .Even if u knew how mad I was,That is nthg compared to how hurt I felt.I never hold anything back from u.And yet tday I find myself being mislead, in fact betrayed.I was happy that u found ur place in a reputable company.I was abit jealous too coz I wasn’t doin as well.But in the end, I was glad things worked out for u.I dun get whats goin on in ur mind right now. Or y do u tink u have to hide it from me.why must you go around me then?I jus dun get. Frankly, it hurts to much. I dun tink I’ve taken advantage on ur situation before. I dun think I’ve done a anything to u to have deserved this.

I treat u with respect. I treat u with dignity. I treat u like a companion. Dare I say it I treated u as one of my best friends. Come to tink of it, I dun tink u’ve ever trusted me. Dun do stuff to ppl which u dun wan ppl to do to u.

it’s the basic.

The very core.

It hurts.

It really does.


Deep down inside, I suddenly feel broken. Alone.
I use to count my lucky stars coz having u around was wat kept me sane in coll.
*ironic aint it?*

maybe u jus dun need me around anymore.

Leaving

2/4/2008

we celebrate your bday.

we celebrate your new beginning.

a new start.

a new life.

goin to college.

it is hard...accepting the fact that we're all grown up now..

and that we're goin separate ways.

remeber when we 1st met?

your were jus form2.

its amazing how time flies.

gosh...

you came with such spunk and faith.
you have optimism in everything!
evrytime whenever you're around...
we end up laughing non stop.
having you around was like sunshine it self.
you light up every situation.

its been so long simce the last time we gathered in the same room.

i realised our group is getting smaller too.

missing kelly, caiqin, cai ning,henry...

this post is for all of you.

wishing u all the best no matter where u all are.

do take care.

you know we'll always be with u no matter wat ok?

*hugs!*

-yuan zi jia-

*a family we are, tied together by fate*

yen

no brainer~

i'm bored beyond my brains man~
help~

i cant sleep...
yet my work are piling..

its a mystery aint it?
lols~

i went for an interview tday..
*leaping around in joy*
finally...
it was pretty ok...
far tho...
kelana jaya..
if i were to work there...
sei jor...
my petrol..
ka-chiiing!


see 1st la...
haih...

*hugs!