true?

it strikes me sometimes how ppl define this world as a "dog eat dog world".
what amuses me more is how i'm always so naive to believe the opposite.

the truth is.
its true ppl like that do exist.
and now i know 1st hand that they come in all sizes.
some ppl tend to use ppl.
some just love to use the "pity me" advantage.
some are just plain lazy and evil.
some are simply mean.

but losing her ironically struck me as a good thing.
it reminds me to appreciate you.
it reminded me to look thru our photos and msged you all.
it reminded me to go back to the very core of my life.

her selfishness showed me that you cared.
more than how much sleep you lost and how you could've spend more time doing your assignments.
her selfishness reminded me that no matter how screwed up my group is,
i always have a back up group mate/ driver / homework tutor / everything i need!
jus a call away.
and confirm arriving within the hour.

losing her reminded me of how we use to be.
the high school era.
i cant deny we use to fight.
but till the very end. we always stood by each other.
the cartoons.
i looked back into our botanic photos that day...
and the playground ones too...
tears came rolling down as it started to rain outside too...
to be frank, i missed you guys so much.
the last time i saw all 4 of you all was last year dec.
the last time i saw 3/4 of you all was in may.
the last time i went out with the 2 of you was in august.
the last mail i read that has updates from you guys was on the 20th of september.
maybe we are too busy.
but mayb just mayb its time for us to slow down our paces just abit.
before we forgot what meant the most after all these times.

she made me realised smthg.
that everyone somehow has their own agenda.
that after everything said and done.
there's bound to be a catch.
i went back to dharmma class last week.
and the truth is, i felt relaxed there.
there's no need to always watch my back.
or to worry so much if anyone there is gonna hurt you.
during that 2 hours, everything was at peace.
mayb it is time to stop running.

---sometimes, life catches you at the wrong moment. the memories fade away.
---it doesnt seem to matter anymore, and the worst part is that you get so caught up
with your own life that you often leave ppl behind. you tend to forget that these
people is your life are waiting for you, they just keep quiet, waiting for you to pause.
---but most of the time, you dont. you continue running forward, pushing yourself further
while shutting the others out of your life, over and over again.
---life is race, that wat you keep telling yourself. but thats not what life is about.
you dont leave those who care about you. they will always be there for you.
however you just forget about em, leaving them at the corner by themselves.
---i know i need to pause right now.
---dotsandstripes

so now you know who your true friends are.
---the other halveSSS