:why:

sometimes it jus sucks being the youngest...
theres no one to play wit...
u can only listen when the 2 elders sis were up all night "sharing problems"...
i've never been apart of the "sisterhood"...
wats my role in this family...?
i'm the wan that takes out the rubbish at night, picks up the dogs poop, sweep the floor n occasionally wash the dishes...
i'm the sister who gets yelled at for not cleaning up my room...
i'm the sister who gets interogated when i come home after dinner time...
i'm the sister who gets good results n occasionally get sum gifts from dem..
i'm the sister who gets F&N freebies n maxis t-shirts...
yea...
n i'm the one who always get picked on n teased for being "daddy's little girl"...
one more thing...i'm the one with NO LIFE...

my cousin use to say that she wans sisters...coz she grew up with two brothers... k2 always wanted sisters that will share her ribbons...n go shopping with...someone to share their guy problems n do "sisterly stuff"...ekekek...guess what? i want one too... be coz i dun do that stuff... i never did... if i took my sis's hairbands...i would normally be the one being yelled at later coz she wanted to use em...

back to the NO LIFE part...gawd! even my 55year old mom has more life den me...
let me show u my family's schedule for the week...
mom has dinner with her frens on tnite, sat, sun
cYn has dinner on tnite, tml nite, sat, sun
cIn also has dinner on tnite, tml
see?? how wonderfull...

the fact that i'm the youngest and that i'm always ignored in the family, makes me closer to my dad...
my sis always says that i'm always gonna be "daddy's little gurl"...n whenever theres a argument...dad will back me up...
the thing is... what do they expect? if they spend as much time as i did with dad...they would've been daddy's gurl too...

i use to surf the net for information on Volvo cars n BMW engines n motor sports...jus to share it with my dad...i use to look up on books about sound systems coz my dad likes em... my dad is my fren... n thats a fact... he's into cars n sounds n electronics...n i'll go read up on em jus to make sure that i can share that little conversation with him... n as time goes by...i soon grew to love cars too...why is it that dad n i we have so much in common? its because i actually went n look em up stewpid!! 
and as time goes by, we grew really close...we have a bond... n i love it!

but i also grew to noe a side of my dad that my sisters will never ever know.... i grew to know thw sodter side of him... the side of him that he always covers up coz he's afraid to be a burden... i'll noe it when he's not feeling well...i can sense it when he's upset...
but we (the daughters) are growing older now...n frankly, dad isnt happy with tat..... why is it that dad will wake up 5am to make breakfast for his 18,27,29year old daughter? its not that we r incompetent...no... it has became the one n only way for him to show us that he loves us... he's getting older now....n weaker too...constant heartburns n headche but yet he still keeps it from us... he wans to feel usefull... to be able to do smthg for us, but bz bz bz daughter r always bz with the gym, dinner n freinds...the only thing he can do is jus to make sure that we dun go to school/work on an empty stomach...

tnite...when my mom was out dinner, cYn n cIn too went dinner..it struck me...if i have other plans... dad would've been alone... n it hurts me so to think of him jus sitting there alone... he doesnt have alot of friends nearby...more of his "friends" are from work...he gave up his LIFE long long time ago for his kids n wife... n now...he's alone...
when cYn gt married, dad gt drunk...happy? no...he was crushed... he realised that he's getting older... n soon...cIn will get married too...what nex? mom's outing with HER friends isnt helpinh him cope much either... he's...alone... n that fact jus sliced my heart into two.... he's unhappy, he's alone, he's worried...n since amah passed, he talked even less...

i ditched my plans wit tz during the weekends to accompany him...
i think i'll be doin that quite often soon...
but will i be doing it forever?