boyfriend - girlfriend talk

Caught this in Loong's blog. Damn cute.
reposting.

************************************************************
Dear The Girfriend,

With reference to the above and the telephone conversation between your good self and the undersign, we enclosed herewith our application for the permit for visiting female friends for your consideration based on the information provided.

The details of the friends as below:

Name : *********
Origin : *********

Name : *********
Origin : *********

Name : **********
Origin : *********

The above mention friends will be staying at no. 19, Jalan Selampit 26, Taman Klang Jaya, Klang, Selangor Darul Ehsan for a period not less the 2 (two) days and not more the 3(three). Their extension is however subjected to approval from you. I understand that you will require to trust me lf and I assure you that the above mention are only friends to me. For fear that, during the process some unfortunate circumstances arises you remain the right to cancel the permit and I shall have no right to argue or appeal. I promise to report to you every action I do / they do. Should the sudden occurrence that you want to see me I promise to go over in less than 5 (five) minute.

If you require further clarification on the abovementioned, please do not hesitate to contact the undersigned. I thank you for your support kindness and love and look forward to a mutually beneficial relationship with you.

Thank You,
Your sincerely
The Boyfriend

*************************************************
Dear The Boyfriend

I am sorry to inform you that your permit application for visiting female friends has been put on hold. I cannot guarantee that your permit will or will not be granted to you before I receive a full application form from you, do please read the information below carefully, as this will help to ensure that your application can be processed at the earliest opportunity and to help prevent an incomplete application form being returned to you.

USEFUL INFORMATION ON HOW TO APPLY;
* You must be a current member of The Falculty of Golden Loyalty Partner to be eligible to apply for your application. Further information about joining the Profession is available on our web site www.goldenloyalty.com/getting_started/become_a_member
DOCUMENTATION YOU NEED TO INCLUDE IN YOUR APPLICATION;

* a certified copy of all your visiting female friends’ identification certificate

* a more than one page essay on the stories between you and your female friends (e.g. how do you know them, any memorable experience etc)

* a more than one page essay on the reason of visiting

* a more than one page proposal on how you will behave in future

HOW TO OBTAIN THE REQUIRED CERTIFICATION
I do not accept originals of documentation. You must get requested copies of documents certified as being an original. The certification can be undertaken by either any mutual friend, who can be trusted by me.

The person who certifies the document must include the following information,
* Full name
* Signature
* Date copy has been certified
* Job title and company

Do not obtain alternative certification to what has been suggested above without contacting me.

CURRENT FEES FOR PERMIT APPLICATION
God-sister RM 500 per person
Close female friend RM 300 per person
Female friend RM200 per person
Female housemate RM 150 per person
Female classmate RM 100 per person
Female Colleague RM 80 per person
Female relative RM 20 per person

PAYMENT METHOD
Please ensure that you let us know how you are paying for your application form and ensure that you include a remittance advice document if you are paying by direct debit.
Your reference number is 5354, kindly quote this number in any future correspondence.

Thank you.
Regards,
The Girlfriend