tunnel.

ever wondered how much and how fast we grow up?

like a tunnel.... we walk through it... get so caught up in the middle....
we forget how it looked like at the starting point.

when i was 13... i wanted to fit it.
gosh... the groups of ppl we tried to fit into. finding friends, making new friends.
getting adjusted. "why must life be so hard??!!!" popular quote by the 13 yr old me.
dramas. cat fights! popular girls. ohmygosh the popular girls. they were always the entertainment in schools!

when i was 15... i wanted a boyfriend!!! :p
i noe i noe... i damn hiao... but yea wert!!! it was the "in" thing. every one oso gt bf gf liao.
now looking back, i kinda dun get wat was the fuss. ngek ngek ngek! HORMONs....! gatal~
i had a crush on... football guys, basketball guys...softball guys... scouts... cadets... well.... GUYS la.... gosh! scary.it was the ridiculous phrase man... like boy crazy~

17 was a more rational me. yet it nvr did lower my "drama-level". i was still crying... i was still whining. but compared to now.... WHAT THE HECK WAS I WHINING ABOUT!!!!!!!
ish. things that use to matter soooooo much. now seem so fickle. so very very fickle.

now.
i'm not sure is it me. maybe i am getting old.
drama seems less dramatic. difficult people.... well... are still pretty difficult. wahahha... but sumhow, i jus learn to accept it. people come people go. separations may still be hard, but the emotion isnt that high anymore. even breakups seem mellow. it-isnt-the-end-of-the-world.

i'm nt sure if its a good thing. i hope it is.
letting go seemed slightly easier.
adjusting seemed waaay easier too.
i find myself being more flexible.
there are times when i find myself more focused then everyone else.
then there were the times where i'm so lost i couldnt stand.
and i realise i didnt had as much fun as i use to anymore.

wish i could track back into the tunnel.
when the biggest drama of my life was whether the guy i liked knew i was alive.