bad day

unfinished work
it jus hit me tday...my bridge assignment isnt gonna b done on time...!! ppl aren't cooperating...ass time isn't as easy n simple as they use to be wit the gurls anymore... i dunno y..its frustrating...i hate it... i hate being the incompetent one... i hate being left out...everyone's finish wit their bridges.... jus us...we din do it... failed...

peeps
people n their annoying mouths... irresponsible ppl... i dun like ppl tat point fingers at the very moment things screw up... its against everything i learnt in life... if u screwed up..own up! feel wronged? Defend urself... pampered n over protected ppl...they're annoying me... ...badly....

i noe i'm also wrong... but y is it tat i have to be the one bending down to apologize? nt like the other part has no part of it? jus by acting like the childish one, by acting like the whole freaking world owes him...i need to put myself below the ground n say "hey, u still angry a?" even when i initiated the apology, ppl still act like their beyond our standards...they act like the superior... "nt my fault k? u all la... fucking accuse me"....

why is it tat when ppl talk bad behind our backs...it called back stabbing..but when ppl express their unsatisfaction behind ppl's back without the person knowing it..its called "NOT HURTING HIS FEELINGS"? all i did was said wat i thought... yea a lil over the line..but still? all i did was doing wat i thought was right... i dun like this at all... i dun like being a hypocrite at all...

headache
my head was ringing the whole day tday...i thought it was work n all the drama in class..apparently not.... i reached home...i lay in bed... when i gt up, theres sum blood on my pillow...i dunno y... den my dad came up..din tell him bout the blood though...he felt my forehead n told me tat i have a fever...shit! final assignment time n i'm sick??!! this is not happening to me!



everything i tot was right all the while turn out to be wrong... i use to think tat being myself is enuf..tat if ppl dun like me, so be it..i cant please everyone... apparently not... i dun like this..i dun like lying...i dun like lying to myself n i dun like lying to ppl... it jus doeant work tat way... i'm the type of person tat gives my heart out to the ppl i noe... i would go thru hell for a friend... but i came to find tat friendship now seem so vain n vague... u wouldn't know which is true...nor would i noe wats goin on behind my back..it sickens me so...this is nt the way i was brought up... i grew up in a place tat when theres misunderstanding n anger...we put it all out on the table... nthg underneath... sio wat if i dun like you? i'll tell u wat i dun like... if u dun like anything bout me... tell me to my face nt to my butt... i rather noe wats wrong wit me than to find out later from someone else... i grew up in a place where i tot trusting a friends is good... i grew up thinking tat friends help me grow up.. they help me learn more about myself...

wat the fuck have i been learning all this while if it isnt real at all?

:3niGma: