in a million pieces...

things change...
life change...
we change...

nthg is the same...
nthg will ever stay the same...

it can be a bad thing..
it can be the end of the world...
it can also be a gud thing..
it can be a challenge for you to overcome...

k2... my cousin... She's always been cheerful, always problems free, she's always happy! She has her very own stressfree zone..Where she can kick back n yet excel in watever she's passionate in... she's always been athletic, a runner...a cyclist...a dancer... a gymnast... a lover for the works of mother nature! now, there's a huge challenge ahead of her. Smthg no one had ever expected. Feeling tired, feeling breathless, was even told tat she might have to hang up her running shoes...kinda dramatic? yea..its a drastic change... being on medication, thus gaining a lil weight due the the pill's side effect... we might not think tat its a big prob... but for her? weight and size were nvr any probs..she was athletic with a high metabolism rate..she could eat like a horse and still look great! but now? even with vigorous exercise and a strict diet...she's a bit chubby... she feels sad and dissapointed in herself... wats wrong with her?

MP...my high school bestie... smart..rational..someone that is always right...she's always the one that will give you great advice..she's always the one you'll turn to when your sad..she's the ever dependable, ever so mature friend... she's a gurl that believes in FAITH, HOPE ...she's a gurl tat believed in getting back wat you gave...she's the type of gurl tat would give 200% of effort in a subject tat she wasn't really gud at...and she'll succeed in the very end... now? being in a course which she was very passionate in...started the course with a heart full of hope...hoping to do well and make her parents proud... but it isn't really tat easy... creativity was obviously nt being her best friend... she started to keep bumping into dead ends... wide eyed and tired..she sat by the sidelines and watched ppl succeeding... she saw ppl with "talent" and "skills"... they succeeded witout even breaking a sweat... while she was sitting at the side, with her feet blistered and her knees bruised... she wanted to give up..she's starting to have second thought... is it really the right choice? did she make a mistake? where would she go from here?

me... i grew up with confidence in watever it is tat i was doin... got used to excelling in everything...mom brought me up since a child to study gud and to study smart... i wake up every mornin when i was 4-5 years old to memorize the A,E,I,O,U...i knew my "hasil darab" during pre-school...i entered primary school n secondary school all smooth and safe... i got use to being the leader..i got used to being active... former girl guides leader, former debate speaker, former prefect, former librarian head, state speaker, state story teller...i was in everything... apparently i THOUGHT i was gud at everything too... well, fact is..i'm not... my world last time was academically based..as long as i can study n memorize...i'm bound to score in my exams... now? i chosed a course which i find interesting...ironically, i stink at it! i can excel in geography or history...eventhough i hated it...but i seem to be slipping downwards in a subject which i actually like... so used to be in the limelight...so used to being active... now? i'm the girl tat sits behind in the meeting room... jus dun feel useful anymore...felt wasted...felt sucky... frankly, my past (to me now) is jus irrelevant... felt so out of place... felt like a little, tiny piece of a huge puzzle that just lost it place...

well, thats life...things change...we jus need to adapt to it and try to work it out..whether its our very own expectations, or other ppl's expectations towards us...we jus need to learn to live wit it... life isnt a soft bed of roses... whether if its health, or studies or jus plain nt fitting in, we need to learn to love ourself... things happen for a reason... it doesnt matter how it is now... watever it is, i'm sure we'll pull through...we need to stop trying to relive the past.. look at the present, and start appreciating it... count your blessings... thank god that ur sickness isnt worst and there is a medication to help; thank god that you still have your friends n family that will stand by u no matter if you r 2kg's heavier or 3 inches broader; thank god that you are what you are- unique n special; thank god that u have all there is to make your situation work for u!;thank god that you are nt alone....


:enigma:

contemplating