-3niGma-

For The First Time

2011-01-17T14:40:00.000+08:00

This song brings back alot of memories.
This song hit a cord in my heart.
This song left me speechless.
This song left me in tears.

What would you do when life gets back at you?
What would you do when reality strikes back?
What would you do when you've ran out of luck?

In these hard times, we get agitated.
In these hard times, we get frustrated.
In these hard times, we lose hope.

But in these hard times, look down on your hands & realize u r not alone.
All you need to do is hold tight & hang on.

The Script - For The First Time

Death

2011-01-12T11:44:00.001+08:00

Death.
Inevitable. It will happen.
I know.

Some say they will go away.
In a new circle of life.
Reincarnated.
As someone else.

Some say they linger on.
Wonder around the ones they couldn't let go.
Presence felt.

I wonder which is the better thought.
That she is nw living a better life, but the fact that I have lost her forever.
Or that she is still around us watching over us, that we hav nt lost her in our life, but that will mean her suffering will nvr end?

I miss her.
I really do.
I wonder if she missed me too...

Amah...

The Case of the Bintik Ayam

2011-01-07T13:35:00.001+08:00

The chicken pox
My Sis had it
Then my brother in law
Then Elyssa
And everybody thought it ended there.

1 week later
Evaine has the chicken pox
That was done

2 weeks after tat
On 1Jan 2011, daddy has the chicken pox!!

I've hid high n low. AVOIDED AT ALL COST!
even gt myself vaccinated!

But alas, ladies n gentlemen
At 23 yrs old, on 5 Jan 2011. I have the chicken pox!
Boo!
What a way to start the year huh?

i've got a feeling

2011-01-04T10:34:00.001+08:00

i've gt a bad bad feeling
fever up
fever down
fever up
fever down
body aches

i'm gonna c the doc again

Happy New Year 2011

2011-01-03T11:11:00.003+08:00

每一步的終結就是下一步的開始

The end of each step is the beginning of next

Don't Forget Innocence

2010-12-24T15:57:00.000+08:00

The sheer joy of color pencils.
Doodles, shapes, colors, dreams...
hopes.

:)
simple innocence.
loves.

冬至归窝

2010-12-22T12:22:00.002+08:00

此时此刻的我，纳闷了。
此时此刻的我，身体不舒服了。
此时此刻的我，失望了。
此时此刻的我，累了。
此时此刻的我，不开心了。
此时此刻的我，好想回家。

爸，妈，
燕要回家。
燕要抱着你们。
燕要躲在怀里。
燕想哭。
可以吗？

想听婆婆的故事。
想听爷爷的中国历史。
想家。

Noël à Leo Burnett

2010-12-20T21:26:00.009+08:00

Yes i'm in love with Christmas.
:)

I love that everyone is cheerful & happy.
I love that Christmas songs are on replay now.
The feeling is ...
ecstatic!!

17 Dec 2010.
Christmas rocked LB extra early!
There was lunch, there was dinner.
There was Secret Santa.

There was Huru Hara.
They were awesome!!
I'm a fan!!!

Booze on Free Flow.
:)

Seriously, "Huru Hara" menghuru-harakan LB kaw kaw!!
Fathil/Helmi - Drums ; Pathma - Bass ; Strings - Naj & SengKiat
Vocals/Keyboards - Michelle!
They even gt thongs flung at em!!

------------------------------------------
16 Dec 2010.
Christmas with Karen's Girlssss.
:)

ala pot luck style.

my sandwiches!

Mel's Tuna Pasta BerGanja.

Fui's Mini-in development-sausages

Kristin's Konyaku Jelly!

Check out the desserts!

Jem's cake & Patrick's Intoxicated Christmas Fruit Cake

-Intoxicated!-
heavily dosed!

Mindy's Green Tea Cake

Sii Tao Poh-Karen's Kerapu MeeHoon!

Insanely Yummy with Penang Sambal!

-together gether-

Prezzies!
I've gt loads...
Boss gave us all a diary.
I love the message on it.

It reads...

"Our world is full of dreams & adventures"

True enough.
:)

Merry Christmas ya'all.

Hugs & Kisses! XOXO

2010-12-19T20:00:00.000+08:00

My dear bestie Tan Wi Shan
has officially became a SII TAUU POOHH!!
:)

XOXO Pet Store officially opened last Saturday
18 Dec 2010

Its located at
56-3 (3rd Floor), Jalan PJU 5/20D,
The Strand Kota Damansara

Puppies, Grooming, Boarding,
Healthy Pet Food, Pet Stuff galore.
Not too big.
Just the right size.
Very comfy.

Puppy above is on sale i tink.
Insanely cute & obedient for a pup!
Play & mingled, tired d snooze.

we chilled we makaned.
we played with em puppies!!!
:)
----------------------------------------------------------
After that Siewkuan & I went to find Mandy!
For dinner.

A fruitful day I would say.
:)
I'm happy!

POPOPOPOPOKKKSSSSS!!!!!

2010-12-18T19:58:00.000+08:00

my hse is invaded by the
the spread of

Chicken Pox!!!!

Walk in the park

2010-12-17T19:52:00.000+08:00

Walking the dogs
is a bliss

Sunset
:)

btw, i have an iphone!

thank you

2010-12-16T22:44:00.001+08:00

Thank you for hearing me
Thank you for loving me
Thank you for seeing me
And for not leaving me

Thank you for staying with me
Thanks for not hurting me
You are gentle with me
Thanks for silencing with me

Thank you for holding me
And saying "I could be"
Thank you for saying "Baby"
Thank you for holding me

Thank you for breaking my heart
Thank you for tearing me apart
Now I've a strong, strong heart
Thank you for breaking my heart

Thank you for helping me

《老師的十二樣見面禮》

2010-12-15T12:40:00.001+08:00

◎簡媜老師在作品《老師的十二樣見面禮》提到的12個禮物

第一樣牙籤。挑出別人的長處。

第二件橡皮筋。保持彈性，每件事情都能完成。

第三件OK繃。恢復別人以及自己受傷的感情。

第四件鉛筆。寫下你每天的願望。

第五件橡皮擦。Everyone makes mistakes and it is OK 。每個人都會犯錯，沒關係的。

第六件口香糖。堅持下去就能完成工作。而且當你嘗試時，你會得到樂趣。

第七件棉花球。提醒你這間教室充滿和善的言語與溫暖的感情。

第八件巧克力。當你沮喪時會讓你舒服些。

第九件面紙。To remind you to help dry someone’s tears，幫別人擦乾眼淚。

第十件金線。記得用友情把我們的心綁在一起。

十一，銅板。To remind you that you are valuable and special。提醒你，你是有價值而且特殊的。

十二，救生員（糖果代替，救生圈形），當你需要談一談時，你可以來找我。

Tyler Hilton - Keep On

2010-12-10T11:29:00.000+08:00

Everybody knows
how’s the story about the first one
Who tought’em how to hurt
Let their hopes sustain

When its gone on quite enough
And your sick of staying down
I know what you need
You got to live it like it sounds

When you lose what you love, live on live on
When the road gets too rough, be strong be strong
When you can’t understand, but you’re starting to see, it’ll work in the end
You just got to believe, keep on keep on

I had my ideals, my plans were cutting dry
I wouldn't just settle for a thing, yeah
You can forget all compromise

But I was tackled like a wave
And stomped on like the ground
Once won’t ever change
We’ll be slowly turning 'round

'Cause when you lose what you love, live on live on
When the road gets too rough, be strong be strong
When you can't understand, but you're starting to see, it'll work in the end
You just got to believe, keep on keep on

Yeah you can take it from me,
there's so much you can be,
and it's all gonna change whether it's you or them or me.

When you lose what you love, live on live on
When the road gets too rough, just be strong be strong
And when you can't understand, but you're starting to see,
it'll work in the end
You just got to believe, keep on keep on

demons

2010-12-09T10:57:00.002+08:00

fingers cold

trying to breath
struggling for smthg to hold
when will this feeling cease?

demons come
fears amplified
fickle for some
why am i terrified?

flashbacks, memories
playing scene by scene
how could one let go of these,
everything that has been?

wash it down
rain on me
feelings, please drown
i wanna move on, cant u see?

why is sleeping such a test?
demons be gone~
finally my mind's at rest
as the musical box tingles on...

far away

2010-12-09T08:04:00.001+08:00

i read on.
hoping to see a strain of familiarity.
i read on.
hoping to feel relativity.

i'm glad.
that everything is going fine.
i'm glad.
you've found smthg that make you happy.
i'm glad.
to see that you've grown wiser & stronger (nvr fatter)

fear.
afraid that sometimes you feel alone.
fear.
afraid that one day we just aren't close anymore.
fear.
afraid that one day i will lose u.

sometimes.
i wished i'm still a part of your life.
tho small.
i really wished.

All Tangled Up. :)

2010-12-08T15:40:00.007+08:00

Walt Disney Pictures presents "Tangled,"
one of the most hilarious, hair-raising tale ever told.

It can not be denied that the magic of Walt Disney films have touched each
and everyone of us with timeless adventures and musical tunes that are known
for getting stuck in our heads.

In a feature that revolves around hair-- no but really-- this adorable film retells the story of Rapunzel, starring Hollywood sweetheart Mandy Moore (Rapunzel) and funny man Zachary Levi as her 'prince' Flynn Ryder.

First of all, Tangled has everything you expect from a Disney film. It has catchy music, good dialogue and a charming story. It is witty and hilarious, with a bit of cliche thrown in. The comedic timing is outstanding, and it feels like every five minutes you are smiling, laughing or both. Most of the humor comes from a mix between the antics between supporting characters and dialogue spoken by Flynn Ryder and Mother Gothel.

The character of Rapunzel who has a special healing power in her long golden locks is sweet, innocent and kind which is nothing less than what you expect from a fairy tale princess. Flynn Ryder (voiced by Zachary Levi) reminds me a lot of Aladdin, where as he had a rough upbringing, turns bandit as a result of it but ultimately learns the important lessons life has to bring him and becomes the selfless prince-worthy guy we want our princess to end up with.

The biggest surprise of all was Mother Gothel. She isn't your typical "evil witch" character at all. Although her motives are selfish and ruin the lives of everyone in her path, she is downright hilarious! She has this witty way about her, where out of context the words she says would be mean and cruel but she adds a "Just teasing. I love you." and you can't help but laugh.

Possible the two most comedic characters in the movie are the royal horse and Rapunzel's partner in crime-- her chameleon. These two sub characters add charming and humorous moments even though they both don't speak a single word. Rapunzel's chameleon, Pascal has no dialogue of course. But without having to speak, he also makes you crack up throughout the entire movie, just by pointing and making funny faces. The horse, Maximus also does not talk but through his body and facial movements you get the point he is trying to get across, which is entertaining to say the least.

The movie definitely has adventurous qualities that keeps the viewers attention-- as an accidental meeting between Rapunzel and Flynn takes the audience on many thrilling adventures that are complimented by uncountable cute and comedic moments.

Personally I'm not a fan of the computer graphic animation in the newer Disney films, but in Tangled it is done so well you hardly notice it. The musical scores as well as the graphics are impressive and addictive to watch.

Overall, I loved it. I don't have much to say against Tangled, which was a nice change from some of the recent projects to come from Disney. It's nice to see the fairy tale movies get back to the roots, and Tangled will remind you more of Sleeping Beauty, Beauty&The Beast and Snow White than you might expect.

and because i kinda have a teenager crush on Flynn Rider now,
MORE OF HIM below.
XD

"no comment"

2010-12-06T16:56:00.002+08:00

Tall, Skinny with tidy curls in her hair.
She looks polite & petite, but don't you ever mess with her flare.
She does have her temper, so tease her dun you dare.
But deep down you'd know that she really really cared.

Responsible & sensible, she'll comfort you on a bad day.
Trying to make you happy again in her own way.
Ironically "No comment", thats what she'll always say,
Though she'll always be there, come what may.

"Olive Oyl" ppl would call her.
We'd laugh & echo the tease, but it didn't matter.
As the years go by and we got closer,
We soon realized we'd be friends forever.

Happy Birthday My Love.
:)

ensemble

2010-12-06T15:17:00.005+08:00

The sun you see, makes me think of you
The miracle of it, the wonder too
I see you both everyday as you know
To stop seeing either, I'd have to say, no

nice quaint dinner
:)

awesome car show
(i'm such a guy right? but it was awesomeeeeeee~)

I actually went coz of Transformers' Bumble Bee.
i thought i'd be blown away.

then i realized, hoho...
the Chevy Camaro stole my attention.
:D

*faints*
O.O stares
cold breeze
amazing view
the company kept me smiling cheek to cheek
:)

------------------------------------------------
watched finally watched HP with Topper & Squiddy Kor.
bunch of jokers.
i havent seen them in ages.
:)

-----------------------------
a lil trick i learnt from the ex.
My "romantic" dinner with Mandy
at Jusco.
Tahpao-ed food & drinks.
We chilled on a bench while the whole world was chasing dinner at a crowded restaurant.
:)

------------------------------------
some colors grow on you
different phases.

I use to love Luscious Green.
then in college i slowly turned to Blood Red.
I tink Green is growing back at me again.
:)

fear

2010-12-04T15:19:00.000+08:00

everyone has their fears.
girls are complicated being.
when everyone is aware that everybody isnt perfect & everyone has their flaws.
girls will still strive to be the "perfect one" in the eyes of the one they care for.

as i told kk, ur gf puts on make up coz she wans to be beautiful for u.
:)
isnt that true?

wake up

2010-12-03T11:21:00.002+08:00

"If you always watch the demons behind you,
then you will never see the angels ahead."

true.
when will i wake up?
and realize that everything has passed.
it's time to let go.

rain on me

2010-12-01T16:49:00.004+08:00

i love rain.
i never quite get why ppl say "rain on me" as though its a bad thing.
I'm a water baby.
I admit to that.

I'm the kid whose mom would need to nag & yell
just to keep me out of the rain.
:)

"Dun play with the rain la!" she's say
"Dirty a! later fall sick a!" She'd add in
:D

High school was fun.
Bunch of jokers my friends were.
:D
I rmb rainy days where we'd all be running amok in the padang.
The boys after a muddy football game.
The screams, laughter & giggles.
The bruises from the wet towel/white shirt flicking.

I rmb being ambushed by the boys one day in form3.
Was "abducted" and forced out into the rain.
Literally.
Held against my will.
Outside in the rain.
With the 4 jokers.
I dun even know if I should scream or laugh.

Jumping on puddles on the way home.
Those were the days.

Though mom was never happy with my dirty baju kurungs.
teehee.

Even if it didn't rain.
That never stopped us from having fun.
We'd puncture our plastic bottle cap and spray water at each other.
water balloon fights.
Tap water fights in the toilet!
:p

ahhh...
those were the days.

10 years from now.

2010-11-30T18:55:00.002+08:00

Ok i would admit that I am a bit of a stalker.
I can stalk and dig up alot of stuff if i had the time to.

I'm just KEHPO liddat. I also dunno why.

But I was stalking my bro in law and sister last week.
They're in their early 30's.
:)
>> No i did not do it on purpose, you'll see the relevance soon as you read on. I promise

You see, as I was looking through their photos and tags, wall posts and well "wall activities" la.
I cant help but notice a few very familiar names & faces.
Names which I've head since i was a 6 yrs old.
Faces which would come over to our hse every CNY/gathering/birthdays etc.
A group of friends which they've met during HighSchool.

Now i shall not name mention. But i find it amazing, that a bond this strong can transcend and remain through out the years.
They went to high school together, lepak-ed together, went to form6, uni etc.
Now, ppl move on (thats what ppl always say).
But when my sis got married they were the brides maids & best mans (heng tais).
vise versa for them as well.

Just last CNY i found it so amazing that they still do their ritual CNY gathering/visiting.
The bunch of them, married or paktohing or single; with kids or just married.
They'd eat groundnuts, gamble alil, play some cards, drink and "talk cock" la!
A few of them even have kids of their own, who are btw around the same age as my niece & nephew!

These are the people who'd insist you fetch them on your 1st ride when you bought a car;
These are the people who you'd wanna introduce ur bf/gf to;
These are the people who'd throw your bachelor party;
These are the people who'd not only come for your wedding but help in every bit they can;
These are the people who'd be there anxiously waiting with their phones when you're delivering your 1st child in the hospital.
Not to say you're at any point remotely related at all.
But they are there none the less.
:)

I found it so heart warming.
I wish I'd have the blessing of that similar experience as well.
As naive or innocent they say highschool besties are, I happen to think they are friendship in the purest form.
Without an ulterior motive, with no bad intentions.

I wish we'll never break up.
I wish we'll still be there for each other.
I wish we can complain about boyfriends to each other.
I wish we can bitch about work together.
I wish we can be "aunties" & "see lai" together.
I wish we'll grow old together.

i love my cartoonz.
:)

enough said aint it? :)

2010-11-29T15:52:00.000+08:00

Rainbows

2010-11-28T15:55:00.001+08:00

I wan the power to paint rainbows.
<3

can i please?

home

2010-11-26T22:12:00.002+08:00

going home.
suddenly i'm happy again.

daddy texted!
sorry, i'll forever be a Daddy's Girl.

i need to be surrounded by love again.
:)

whine and wallow in self pity

2010-11-26T21:48:00.005+08:00

today i am very whiny
i'm sorry
today i don't feel very good
i'm sorry
today i am very disappointed
i'm sorry

today things kinda got messed up
why today?
today i had to be alert and extremely patient
why today?
today sacrifices needs to be made
why today?

today i had to follow up on some stuff
why me?
today some stuff when missing
why me?
today i'm sick
why me?

boo.

i dun like being sick
i dun like walking around like a zombie
i dun like having milo for lunch and dinner
i dun like running up and down like some bitch during Boxing Day's Shopping Spree
(minus the excitement)
i dun like being yelled at
i dun like feeling that i haven't done my job
i dun like feeling incompetent

boo.

i'm sorry if i made your day not so good.
i'm sorry if my stuff troubled you.
i'm sorry if what i've said confused you, for what's its worth, i was confused too?
i'm sorry if my condition made me a lil annoying.
i'm sorry if i was a lil unbearable today, i tried to minimize it i swear.
i'm sorry i made you wait.
i'm sorry at some point i abandoned you today.
i'm sorry if i made you worried.

*bows*

thank you for not yelling at me louder.
thank you for understanding.
thank you for being patient with me.
thank you for accommodating.
thank you for chatting with me.
thank you for smiling at me though i kinda made you go home late.
thank you for asking how i was.
thank you for noticing.
thank you for checking in on me.
thank you for the pat on the back.
:)

Not Afraid

2010-11-26T13:38:00.000+08:00

I'm not afraid to take a stand
Everybody come take my hand
We'll walk this road together, through the storm
Whatever weather, cold or warm
Just let you know that, you're not alone
Holla if you feel that you've been down the same road

And I just can't keep living this way
So starting today, I'm breaking out of this cage
I'm standing up, Imma face my demons
I'm manning up, Imma hold my ground
I've had enough, now I'm so fed up
Time to put my life back together right now

siao tah por

2010-11-25T14:19:00.003+08:00

sudak balik budak ini.
:P

I wanna be...

2010-11-24T15:54:00.001+08:00

I wanna be the girl

who makes your bad days better.
The one that makes you say...
"My Life has changed since I met her"

:)

stumbleupon it.
nice

The Band Perry - If I Die Young

2010-11-22T10:58:00.000+08:00

If I die young, bury me in satin
Lay me down on a, bed of roses
Sink me in the river, at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song

I cried like chicken shit.

2010-11-19T19:35:00.001+08:00

The two questions asked of the dead by the gods at the entrance to heaven
Have you found joy in your life?
Has your life brought joy to others?

Those 2 questions baffle me all the time.
towards the end of your days, what would cross your mind?
what would you hold pride & glory to?
who would you want to be there to watch you go?

"Everyone's afraid of dying alone".

What are those things that you've always wanted to do? but didn't?
What were those "I could have" and "I would've"s?
Have we done all our duties as children, companion, husband/ wifes?
Have we said our "sorry" & "goodbye"s?
Have we said and done all our "I love you"s?

The phrase "Live like you're dying".
Ironic much?
Is it true that when you are facing death, only you'd come to realized.
"Have i really lived?"

It's not about the parties.
It's not about the heroic contributions.
It's not about the wealth and the money.

Ultimately, what do you want in life?
What would people remember you as when you're gone?

“代替品”不好做。

2010-11-19T18:47:00.000+08:00

full circle

2010-11-18T14:01:00.002+08:00

its interesting how fate comes at you.
its interesting how things happen.
:)

few days right after i came back from hobbitland, i received teacher's calls/sms/msn messages.
its really rare to see her online anyway. (must be smthg super duper urgent)
Loving Tree was having a story telling event. and they required an English MC.

now knowing me (being all anal, routined , well planned, and painfully boring) I'd squirm at these last minute requests. I'd go why cant it be planned earlier? why can things be more well thought through? why cant it be more well prepared?

i would. i really would.

but through the years (yes, years. Teacher has been with me since my high school days)
this was not my 1st last minute gig.
but through the years, i'll never say no to smthg like this.
reason is simple. I felt the purpose for it.

It wasnt like some commercial gig where i get paid for an event.
it was smthg that meant smthg to me.
smtg close to my heart.
I had nthg to lose. (ok, maybe a few hours of sleep). but i could sleep those hours away anytime any public holiday.

It's been months since i "did not work".
I've been busy working for months.
What i did last sat & sun did not feel like work. :)
i was tired as hell. but it doesnt feel like shit.

"happy-tired" someone told me.
True.
I'd agree.

I came a full circle on 14th Nov.
I started 1 1st story telling competition on Sept 6, 1996 in SJK(c) Perempuan Klang.
I came back and took the stage again as MC on Nov 14, 2010 in SJK(c) Perempuan Klang.

Amazing

Xie Xie Ni De Ai ( 謝謝你的愛 ) - Li Xin Jie

2010-11-18T00:01:00.000+08:00

assumptions.

2010-11-13T14:36:00.003+08:00

we always judge people.

no matter how much we say we dont.

we do.

its a norm we do.

LV bag - oooh.... high class.

charles & keith - hmmm... stylish practical.

jimmy choo - diva?

happy energetic not bad looking dude - gotta have a gf, else he's gay.

some single apek in the cyber cafe - adult friend finders? O.o

=.=

you see a bubbly chirpy guy who loves colors, he's gay?

you see a uncle with a chinese girl eating dinner, she's a gold digger?

you see a auntie with a young lad shopping, she's cradle snatcher?

lawyers - drunken indians (i'm nt racist)

pharmacist - nice chinese girls

accountants - CINAAA.

designers - sloppy dude, with no routine and an attitude.

interior designers (guy) - gay

advertising?

they're either labeled - wild, slutty, social, drunks, philanderer, sleep around, have parties, alcoholics.

i dun get it.

not everyone's like that.

the work is already difficult enough.

as though the stress isnt already unbearable.

now this?

i'm sick of my friends and family asking,

eh don't go clubbing la.

eh u drink alot a?

dun drink la.

do u smoke?

why u so wild one?

and it pisses me off so bad.

2 yrs of work.

i've been in a club 3 or 4 times.

i do not smoke.

i dun get piss drunk.

i dun fool around.

i kept track of my spendings.

i try to have friends.

i try to be friendly.

i go yumcha, not clubbing.

i dont buy designer labels.

i'm already dead broke as it is.

i've been effing rational!

i've done less that what some normal college kids do every week.

i see ppl getting piss drunk every day.

i still see clubs filled with 20 yr olds.

when i finish work early in the morning, i jam home with a bunch of drunk kids.

i dun mind strangers having that assumption.

i really dun giv a fuck.

but if u still claim u know me, and love me.

then please. don't make assumptions which are as hurtful.

the most hurtful words come from ppl who u care the most.

those sting like a steel knife cutting down your throat.

i dont even wanna explain.

if u understand me, thank you. you have no idea how much that means to me.

if you dont, i'm sorry i've wasted your time.

i'm sorry i've been a failure to you.

as a colleague, as a friend, as a bestie, as your sister, as your daughter.

没关系

2010-11-13T10:39:00.001+08:00

吴克群-没关系

作詞：吳克群
作曲：吳克群

你離開的時候沒有一句
沒有一句對不起對不起是我太執迷
你離開的時候沒有一句
沒有一句話說清說清楚離開的原因

也許他可靠他實際他不一樣
他能夠給你安全感不只夢想
誰還在乎一起傻傻說過的那些話

沒關係我們分了沒關係
這不是你的問題是我沒那個福氣
沒福氣卻又愛上你
就算哭了沒關係這不是你的問題
痛痛快快給我一槍我沒關係沒關係沒關係

你離開的時候沒有一句
沒有一句對不起對不起是我太執迷
你離開的時候沒有一句
沒有一句話說清說清楚你離開的原因

也許他可靠他實際他不一樣
他能夠給你安全感不只夢想
誰還在乎一起傻傻說過的那些話

沒關係我們分了沒關係
這不是你的問題是我沒那個福氣
沒福氣卻又愛上你
就算哭了沒關係這不是你的問題
痛痛快快給我一槍我沒關係

愛情裡面總有一個比較傻怪就怪我放不下 NO~~
痛苦給我幸福留給你和他沒關係沒關係沒關係

沒關係我們分了沒關係
這不是你的問題是我沒那個福氣
沒福氣卻又愛上你
就算哭了沒關係這不是你的問題
痛痛快快給我一槍我沒關係沒關係沒關係

i'm the king of the world

2010-11-13T02:24:00.000+08:00

sometimes i wished the world revolves around me.

i do.

i wish i have that power to control the how the world feels.

i wish i can dictate if you're gonna be happy or not today.

i really do wish.

but in reality. we're so small that it never matters how i feel.

honestly.

u really think the world is gonna stop coz ur hurting?

really?

honestly, u think everyone would be miserable when u had a rough day?

i'm sure everyone knows that life goes on.

unfortunately not alot of people understand it.

i find it delusional to think that way.

so u had a bad day. ok.

take a breathe, talk to some one.

cry urself out.

den take another breathe,

pick urself up.

the world is still moving.

why must others wait on you?

ideal right?

thats how i life my life.

i have bad days.

i have good days.

but i still do wish everyone would have good days, even when i'm having a bad day.

wouldn't u like to see smiles on other ppl's faces?

i would.

if i could make 1 person's day better, that would make my bad day a lil better too.

no?

or am i the delusional one?

i came to see (bang wall smack in my face kinda obvious) that there are mean & selfish ppl around.

those that wouldn't give a fuck about how ur doing.

all they know is they should be the center of the universe.

and all us pathetic fools are merely there to entertain them.

it feels like cold water pouring down on you, dampen any existence of happiness & hope u still have.

criticizing every lil detail and issue.

over what? i still do not know.

coz they're unhappy i guess...

selfish ppl are everywhere.

and there'll never be a cure to make them better, or to make them less bitter.

so how now?

so you're not happy.

i wanna be happy.

i'm desperate.

dont rain on me please.

me?

2010-11-12T19:49:00.000+08:00

双子座

代表人物：《银魂》善后屋猿飞小莎还有整篇作者本人

双子的孤独无药可医，他们的单纯使他们经常把很多事放在感性的放大镜下观看，虽然表面上理性。

所有的一切都被虚化被美化，他们的内心认为朋友就是在危难时刻拔刀相助不计后果的，爱情就是简简单单没有伤害的，但事实并不是这样，现实的很多碰壁很多失望令他们手足无措，原来世界并不是他们想象中的那样，而他们追求完美的天性和孤傲的本质令他们与孤独就此结缘，那种痛彻骨髓的冷，无处可诉的悲凉，看着自己亲手毁掉曾经美好的梦想。

有人说孤独每个人都有，太自恋了吧。但双子的孤独只有双子自己知道，那是没有可能治好的绝症。因为双子天生就是两个心，两颗脑，他们的感受，他们的所思所想都是双倍的。但他们却只有一个躯体，一个世界。这是一个天生残缺的星座，天生在找寻能与自己契合的另一个人，但谁能找到一个相同的自己？？所以，他们注定这样孤独而劳碌的用一个人的身体承受着两个人的快乐与伤悲，还有永远的孤独。

双子不想孤傲，不愿独来独往，（其实大多数双子表面呼朋唤友，内心却从来没有依靠，孤独无依）但他们的敏感和天生的优越感使他们无法妥协。双子，有很多人羡慕他，很多人嫉妒他，很多人厌恶他，几乎没有一个星座能有这样大的争议性。我想说，双子的孩子们，他们的眼泪永远多于笑容，那些在阳光下微笑，却用眼泪洗涤如水凉夜的孩子，那些从不愿别人失望但自己却因此精疲力尽的孩子，他们的名字是双子。如果你的爱人是双子，那么请你好好爱他，因为他真的不会自己寻找快乐。如果你是双子座，你就要听清楚了—— 你的一生都注定你要去寻找你的另一半。为了找到你的另一半，你会尝试着和各种不同的人相处、相恋。在众人的眼里，双子都是花心的，你们花心却不会一脚踏两船，而是经常换船。然而没有人知道你们这是为了找寻真爱阿！只要找到了你的另一半，双子就不会再换了，双子的痴情与专一只会给一个人。

双子的痴情是让人惊讶的，就像他们的花心一样让人吃惊。然而双子又是可悲的，因为那另一半并不是每个双子都能找到的，因此双子总在茫茫人海中寻寻觅觅，找寻真正的爱情。同时在无意之中伤害了身旁的追随者。然而事实却是，与双子座的人谈一场恋爱是会让人永生难忘的，这段爱情绝对充满了惊喜与快乐。所以，喜欢经常换船的双子总能轻易的找到另一条船来换。爱上双子的人们啊，你享受到了多少快乐？那就不要在乎双子将会带给你多少无情的伤害了。除非你有信心让双子相信你就是他的另一半。这是真正的双子！很多人都说双子的不是，心不在焉，花心，等等，在大多人眼里双子似乎一无是处。其实双子是很脆弱的。双子害怕伤害，既不愿意伤害任何人，也不愿任何人伤害他们，并且不信任任何人，所以即便是很要好的一群朋友在一起，有些时候他们也会表现得非常沉默，因为双子的心灵总是孤独的。他们不愿意被人理解，也不屑被人理解，很多时候，即便跟你观点有分歧，他们也不会跟你争吵，他们不屑争吵，只有在偶尔无法忍耐的时候才会弄得面红耳赤；不过对于性情温和的人，他们则极尽他们的口才以达到说服的目的，他们不愿意发生争吵. 双子的朋友基本都是泛泛之辈，感情深厚的朋友实在少的可怜。因此寂寞或是不开心时，他们通常也是一个人躲起来一言不发，不去理睬任何人，并且不希望被其他人打扰。大家平时看到的他们并不是真正的他们，他们总是在掩饰自己，自己也不明白这到底是有意还是无意的。他们的心事通常不会跟任何人讲，即便你刨根问底也徒劳无功，只有当他们愿意倾诉的时候，他们才会告诉他们知心的朋友，通常这种机会很少。他们对大多的人、事、物都不怎么在乎，好象是以冷眼观世的态度活在这世上的，即便当他们非常在意某人某事的时候，他们也不会在他人面前轻易表现出来。许多人蔑视双子，那是因为他们不了解双子，双子的真诚与执著我个人认为是其他人都望尘莫及的，双子想要做一件事不在乎其他人的感觉，双子对待别人虽然不甚亲切，然而即便厌恶你的时候也不轻易表露，他们的承受能力惊人的大，可是又有谁会明白他们心中的苦闷。正如有些人说的，生活真的很不容易，又何必再给他人增加烦恼。如果哪位达人理解双子的话，那他会明白双子其实在寻找一个孤寂的世界，把自己一个人埋没于此，不让任何人知道，因为双子不愿意看到有人为自己伤心，他们的苦他们愿意一个人承担。

天下理解双子的人请善待双子。

KiaOra!

2010-11-11T15:22:00.002+08:00

Sorry for the lack of updates and alot of random blabblings.
YES I AM BACK!!

fyi, i went to GoldCoast Aussie & NZ.
indeed it was a great break.
it was awesome.

I've always been astounded by the miracles of mother nature.
NZ jus blew me away.
At so many levels, i'd jus feel humble by the amazing scenery, friendly people and the wonderful culture over there.

I could just open my window in the morning at 7am and see this:
:)
whats not to love?

Being a geek by nature, anything worth studying - I love & remember.
Simply by the 1st few posters I saw at the airport, I was so intrigued by the Maori Culture.
No, not just because the have nice body and walk around half naked
(though i wouldn't mind as they do look awesome) :P
ahahahha.

I am completely hooked on Maori symbol. These symbols are commonly carved into pendants from bone or stone sometimes attached to their cords with authentic, traditional bindings & knots.

Not only are these carved pendants very well crafted, highly detailed pieces of art. They also resemble various Maori symbols which in their turn represent Maori culture, history, and spiritual beliefs. Their function is to commemorate ancestors and honor mythological beings and their stories.

Hei Matau or Maori fish hook necklace
My personal favorite.
In short the Hei-Matau (fish hook) represents strength, determination and good health, as well as providing safety.

Koru (spiral)
The Koru depicts new beginnings, growth and harmony, taken from the symbolism of a unfurled silver fern leaf. The Twist
The Maori symbols or meaning for The single twist represents the path of life, it is the eternity symbol. The single figure eight represents the joining together of two people, and although people move away, their journey of life will have their paths cross again.

The triple and double twist represents the joining together of two people, or two cultures for eternity and even though they may experience life's ups and downs they remain bonded by friendship and loyalty for life. more photos will follow through with the journey.
now too busy with work d. LOL

dreamers.

2010-11-11T12:43:00.002+08:00

remember how we were young (well, younger than now) and we use to dream?

remember when you get good results, and people would ask in interviews.
"what would you wanna do in the future?"
I'd always answer,
"i dunno what i'm gonna be yet. But i wanna do smthg that would make a difference."

I'd believe that people are nice.
I'd believe that good things happens to good people.
That everything happens for a reason.
I used to believe that dreams will come true.

as days goes by, i realized how i stopped hoping.
how i'd always plan for the worst to happen.
i'd hope for smthg bad NOT to happen rather than hope for smthg good.
how i'd always think that things are never the way they seem.
how i've come to realize good things do not always happen to good people.
being nice may not bring back nice returns.
how i hate feeling so vulnerable.

when i met aM3 in coll, i saw how she always hung her motto by her.
"making a difference" she said.
I'd scoff. "tough luck"
yet she still is optimistic.
she is so hyper sometimes i swear i wanna smack her.
she's like a tickle-me-elmo which i can never turn off.
:)
guess that how we clicked.
she's a dreamer, i wish i was too.

i rmb us slaving thru coll. and the satisfaction of finish a design course when we were nerds & geeks from science.
guess we did kick ass. least we felt that way. :)

i remember telling myself, i din not wanna work for work. i was determined to do smthg that i'd love. i do not wanna work 10-30 yrs over a routine that i soon learn to hate. i do not wanna be working simply coz i needed the money.

and i'm here.

wondering, why am i doing this?
is this what i wanna do?
where would i be 5 yrs from now?

working in LB is insane indeed.
but working in LB also keeps me sane.
contradicting right?

its insane because its crazeeeeeeee work.
yet its insane somehow i still smile occasionally thinking "thank god i'm nt a pharmacist/engineer".
how when a campaign ended, i'd stare at the event photos and go "whoa, its done. not bad."
how u'd secretly smirk when a client says "good job"

but then again, by the end of the day.
i find myself struggling to keep myself driven.
i find myself so tired and my life have become nthg but a routine.
a routine of waking up- going to work- get all frustrated - and going home.
only to start the routine all over again.
is this really what i wan my life to be?

what happened to the girl who wanted to work and travel?
what happened to the girl who wanted to station in cambodia for 6 months for the sake of it?
what happened to the girl who was passionate about nature and hikes?
what happened to the girl who would part time for Paws & SPCA?
what happened to the girl who give bread to the strays outside & get yelled at by mom later and still be happy?
what happened to the girl who'd give things a try eventhough she's not sure what lies ahead?

i was a dreamer, till i became a realist.
now i wanna dream again.
tell me how?

happy birthday to you.

2010-11-08T21:05:00.001+08:00

happy birthday.
thats all i can say.

happy birthday.

i wish you well.
i wish you health.

i wish peace & hope your days will be better.
i wish u'd stay safe and sail through the weather.

i wish u'd have less nighmares.
i wish u'd have better dreams.

i wish u all the best in work.
i wish u everything in life.

i wish u'd heal better.
i wish u'd hurt lesser.

i wish u love.
i wish u bliss.

i wish u everything with her.
i hope u will find happiness.

:) may she was the one all along?

happy birthday tzer.
after so many years, i sincerely wish u'd take care.

12星不可触碰的感情雷区

2010-10-22T15:45:00.000+08:00

pantang weh!!!
dun mess with my privacy!

双子座

爱情忌讳：不能一成不变，不能没有主张，不要当闷葫芦，不要考验耐性。

感情地雷：不可以刺探隐私。

喜欢不断变化的双子座，是不喜欢每天都做同样一件事情的。如果平淡的生活没有一点创意，一点激情，你是拴不住他们的心哦。而且双子座的人是没什么耐心的，跟他们比，吃亏的永远都是你。虽然双子平时风趣幽默、大方得很，但是他们要有自己私密的小空间，那里自由，神圣且不可侵犯，一旦你去探听双子座的情人不愿说的事情，他们会觉得你很讨人厌喔。和双子座的情人在一起，也许会让你觉得有点累哦。

so trueeee~
:P

-------------------

白羊座

爱情忌讳：不能泼他冷水，不能拖拖拉拉，不要唠唠叨叨，不要闷不吭声。

感情地雷：不可以挑战权威。

没有一个星座比白羊座更要面子的了，如果你伤到了他的自尊，小心他她会翻脸不认人，让你后悔莫及哦。白羊座的人都是心直口快，性急好斗嘴，做人没什麽心机的，脾气过了也就算了，一般不会把事情闹到不可收拾的地步。但是你不要拐弯抹角、指桑骂槐，更不要叫他们“好好反省”，因为在白羊座情人的字典中，是没有 “认错”和“反省”这类字眼的。不能以诚相待，小心他她会让你们的爱情列车靠站喔。

金牛座

爱情忌讳：不能没有耐心，不能华而不实，不要对他她忽视，不要铺张浪费。

感情地雷：不可以和他她谈钱。

如果你太过猴急，缺乏耐性，牛牛们会认为你另有图谋，不值得他她守候。什么幻想，什么将来……一切不实际的东西对他们来说都要OUT！还有就是他们的占有欲很强，他她可不希望和别人一起分享自己喜欢的人，就算是朋友都不可以哦，所以不要和异性表现得太暧昧喔。另外，金牛座的情人是没钱就没安全感的人(或许他们不会承认)，不管感情多好，也不要在他她面前念及钱字，会招来他们的反感哦。

双子座

爱情忌讳：不能一成不变，不能没有主张，不要当闷葫芦，不要考验耐性。

感情地雷：不可以刺探隐私。

巨蟹座

爱情忌讳：不能漠不关心，不能急功近利，不要过于外向，不要纠缠不休。

感情地雷：不可以伤害家人。

巨蟹座的人情绪多变，你要用不变的关怀来应对万变的事情。他她喜欢相互的关心，语言的体贴，所以你要温柔的对待他们，切不可对他们呼呼喝喝。传统的巨蟹喜欢待在家里，和家人共享天伦，太外向的性格可以吸引他们，但是恋情不会长久。他们讨厌吵架，不喜欢正面冲突，出了问题千万不要一直缠着他们哦，他们需要静一静。对于他们来说，家人朋友是最重要的，你可以说他的不是，但千万不要批评他的家人和朋友。

狮子座

爱情忌讳：不能泼他冷水，不能冷嘲热讽，不要对他说教，不要胡乱插话。

感情地雷：不可以不公不正。

狮子座的人可是大哥大、大姐大哦，对他们所做的事情，你可以睁只眼闭只眼，但是不要东说西语，讲些不中听的话，会损坏他们“王者尊严”的哦。对他们多说大道理，只会让他们对你反感，如果你再老是打断她正在说的话，那你就完蛋了！和狮子座的人谈恋爱，一切都要讲求公平、遵循原则，无理取闹和出尔反尔，就是存心和他们过不去。对于他们来说，有理可以恩爱一生、无理则是寸步难行。

处女座

爱情忌讳：不能无理取闹，不能口不择言，不要光说空话，不要轻言分手。

感情地雷：不可以破坏原则。

对于处女座的人来说，爱情永远都是排在第二位的，你要是不依不饶地勉强他们，他们可不会理你哦。满口胡说八道，做事轻率的人，他们更会敬而远之。对他们许下的诺言，最好可以有十足的把握去实现，不能做的事情就不要逞能，因为对他们来说，空头支票的杀伤力实十分大的哦。你要是随随便便就说分手，他们可是真的相信的。其实并不是每一个处女座的情人都天生有洁癖，重点是他们相当坚持原则。

天秤座

爱情忌讳：不能过多批评，不能逼他决定，不要过分干涉，不要发火动怒。

感情地雷：不可以痴黏纠缠。

无关美丑，天秤座的人个个都是很擅长自我陶醉的。他们自恋程度之高，已经不容外界否定和怀疑。所以对于他们的建议和忠告，还是愈迂回委婉愈好，否则天秤座情人敏感脆弱的心很少能承受得起。他们不喜欢感情被牵绊，逼他只会让他们想逃。他们博爱滥情的天性是你无法阻止的，跟他争执他们更会逃之夭夭。学会轻描淡写和包容，多拓展自己的社交圈、让天秤座情人吃醋会是更好的办法哦。

天蝎座

爱情忌讳：不能学他猜疑，不能失去理智，不要敷衍了事，不要逢场作戏。

感情地雷：不可以隐瞒背叛。

害怕情人的背叛和出轨，是天蝎座男女挥之不去的爱情恐惧，所以在恋情开始的时候他们都小心翼翼，步步为营，你要是学他一路刺探，只会让你折寿几年。对他的猜疑最好理性面对，否则就算哭到天崩地裂也无济于事。他们的感情浓烈，醋劲更是一流，不正面回答问题而左顾言他，到时候惹得他们妒火中烧，可就难收拾残局了。受了刺激的天蠍若是失去控制，可是什麼事情都做的出來。聪明的话，还是安分守己些。

射手座

爱情忌讳：不能愁眉不展，不能成天烦他，不要说人坏话，不要哭哭闹闹。

感情地雷：不可以亦步亦趋。

射手座的人天性乐观，无论做什么事情都不用担心，所以你每天都杞人忧天，那他会觉得很烦，如果还喋喋不休,那他恐怕逃都来不及。另外，尊重朋友的射手，部喜欢听到关于朋友的坏话，说坏话的人对于他们来说，是个小肚鸡肠的人喔！射手座的情人很奇怪，他们讨厌没有自由的空间，但是如果你不理他，他反会过来黏你哦；不过当你关心起他的一切时，他就会对你的感觉转淡，愈追的紧，他跑的愈快！

魔羯座

爱情忌讳：不能自以为是，不能巧言伶色，不要不切实际，不要行事过快。

感情地雷：不可以故弄玄虚。

严肃认真的魔羯座最讨厌自以为是，脑袋空空的人，没有一定的内涵他们绝不会多看你一眼，而巧言伶色的人更是他们害怕的典型。行事踏实，步步为营的性格又让他们拒绝幻想，希望每一步都在他们的预料之内，不喜欢有所谓的惊喜或动荡。他们精打细算，当然越清楚越好，省得麻烦。让魔羯座情人最受不了的是满肚子草包游喜欢故做神秘，不懂装懂的人，就算你是俊男美女也不能吸引他们喔，所以赶紧去学习吧。

水瓶座

爱情忌讳：不能过于依赖，不能千篇一律，不要耍大牌，不要不按牌理出牌。

感情地雷：不可以按照模式。

内心及行为有时像极了一个顽皮的小孩子的水瓶，他们永远不懂得责任两个字是怎么写的，只会去爱那些干练、独立的女生，这样他们才不会有负担。不喜歡和別人一样，所以最好多些变化，频频的惊喜才能引起他们的注意。他们讨厌无理智的哭闹，更讨厌别人装混，所以无论如何都别把自己的无知当可爱。水瓶座的情人，十分讨厌制式化的交往模式，固定的进程规划只会令他们寒毛直竖，没多久肯定转向去他另一条船哟。

双鱼座

爱情忌讳：不能不够浪漫，不能太讲道理，不要给他压力，不要嘲笑他的梦。

感情地雷：不可以死缠烂打。

双鱼座喜欢一切充满诗意的东西，如果你不够标准，那就OUT！硬性的条律太过于死板，也是他们讨厌的东西。双鱼座的人，向来不喜欢压力，尤其是感情的束缚，因此你要是以感情相逼，他们绝不买账！另外爱做梦是双鱼座情人的通病，浇他们冷水，小心他把你丢到太平洋哦。另外，双鱼座的三不政策会让你很头痛。不拒绝、不负责、不主动，和他们一起谈恋爱就得耗，如果死缠烂打，保证小鱼儿会一溜不见了。

finding ways

2010-10-21T21:17:00.004+08:00

never ask "how".
if you want it enough, you'll find a way.

new challenges are put forth every day.
and everyday we find ways ...
we find ways to survive...
we find ways to excuse ourselves...
we find ways to ignore...
we find ways to resent...
we find ways to hate....
also
we'll find ways to grow...
we'll find ways to solve..
we'll find ways to move forward...
we'll find ways to accept...
we'll find ways to push ourselves further...
we'll find ways to enjoy what we're doing...
we'll find ways to love.

:)

what i like about my life?
secretly, i think i like it because it's unfair.
secretly, i like it because it's unpredictable.
secretly, i like it because it's constantly changing.
secretly, i like it because it's last minute.
secretly, i like advertising.

oh boi... so screwed up.

The Cracked pot

2010-10-18T16:46:00.000+08:00

Love this - I hope you do too.

An elderly Chinese woman had two large pots, each hung on the ends of a pole which she carried across her neck.

One of the pots had a crack in it while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water.At the end of the long walks from the stream to the house, the cracked pot arrived only half full..

For a full two years this went on daily, with the woman bringing home only one and a half pots of water..

Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it could only do ha lf of what it had been made to do.

After two years of what it perceived to be bitter failure, it spoke to the woman one day by the stream. 'I am ashamed of myself, because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your house.'

The old woman smiled, 'Did you notice that there are flowers on your side of the path, but not on the other pot's side?' 'That's because I have always known about your flaw, so I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back, you water them.'

For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate the table.Without you being just the way you are, there would not be this beauty to grace the house.'

Each of us has our own unique flaw. But it's the cracks and flaws we each have that make our lives together so very interesting and rewarding. You've just got to take each person for what they are and look for the good in them.

SO, to all of my cracked pot friends, have a great day and remember to smell the flowers on your side of the path!

十二星座女孩谁挑男人最不准

2010-10-18T15:48:00.000+08:00

eheheheeh. Gemini #1 when is comes to selecting the wrong guys.
daimmmmeeee~

XD

-----------

第一名：双子女

双子女看男人绝对是以貌取人，而且除此之外对方聪明有趣也是必要条件，也因此符合双子女条件的对象如果有意要欺骗她，双子女绝对会被骗的团团转，另外好强又犯贱的双子女对于越难搞越难追的对象越有兴趣，因此从种种迹象显示到最后都是双子女在宠爱男人为男人付出，可是好面子的她在外却往往宣称自己幸福的不得了.

第二名：狮子女

狮子女希望自己被宠爱呵护，所以只要对方能做到这点她就以为自己找到真爱了，以貌取人的狮子女往往以对方外在的行头就断定对方的身家，而芳心暗许的狮子女即使后来发现对方的身家不如预期，她也会心甘情愿的把钱掏出来替另一半撑场面，最后往往是赔了夫人又折兵。

第三名：天蝎女

天蝎女讲究感觉，她挑选对象时一定是用自己主观意识来面对，即使朋友反对她都会声嘶力竭的为另一半辩解，到最后大家都不会跟她讲真话，唯有在感情遭受到挫败时才会清醒过来。

people come and people go

2010-10-15T17:34:00.001+08:00

its amazing how people connect.
as hectic as job can be.

十二星座：最容易被谁骗感情

2010-10-15T15:42:00.000+08:00

no i'm nt trying to say anything.
in fact i dun really believe in horoscopes.
but the matches are interesting.

牡羊座容易被魔羯座骗感情

：魔羯座没有牡羊座想象中的那麽重感情，魔羯座在跟对方好的时候会会对对方非常的好，而牡羊座是一股脑儿的，比较傻瓜式，当他认定对方是自己的伙伴就认定了，可是魔羯座的认定不一定是把对方当朋友，他可能只是认为以后做事情会蛮方便的，但是如果出了麻烦或者是利害关係有变化时，魔羯就会冷静下来。

金牛座容易被双鱼座骗感情

：双鱼座很喜欢搞暧昧，很喜欢把情境弄得好像真的一样，说梦话和实事求是的人在一起很容易出麻烦，金牛座会把双鱼座说的每一句话都当真，可是双鱼座说完了话或者是情境过去就没了，对于金牛座就很难接受。

双子座容易被天蝎座骗感情

：一开始看起来是双子座很机灵会闪躲，而天蝎座一旦喜欢就会全部投入，可是双方感情进度是不一样的，当天蝎发现双子对自己其实没那麽有兴趣或者缺点之后就会慢慢的给双子扣分，可是双子却在相处之后发现对方优点越来越多就会慢慢给对方加分，因此当双子座热起来时天蝎座已经冷掉了，双子座就会觉得为什麽天蝎前面这麽热情可是后面却这样冷澹，难免就会有一种被骗的感觉。

巨蟹座容易被水瓶座骗感情

：水瓶座很热心，他热心的帮忙，甚至可以很热心的接送对方回家…等等，他是纯粹只是热心而已，可是巨蟹座是一个很感性的星座，他很容易被人家的热心给打动，尤其当他脆弱的时候，当热心过度的水瓶座出现时巨蟹座很容易就误会。

狮子座容易被天秤座骗感情：天秤座的人满口都会答应，什麽事情都OK而狮子座的人听到承诺之后就会记在心裡，虽然他不好意思提醒，但是会等天秤座来实现他的承诺，可是天秤座认为如果有一些事情发生之后他没有办法做到，对方也应该会体谅，双方的价值观在这方面有所冲突。

处女座容易被狮子座骗感情

：处女座的人会百般的讨好对方，有时候不免显的轻浮又没有原则，而狮子座是属于很严格很有原则，因此处女座的这种没有原则的个性狮子座会很看不过去，而常常对处女座翻脸，让处女座很受伤。

天秤座容易被牡羊座骗感情

：天秤座的人是有名的犹豫王子或犹豫公主，当他遇上牡羊座时就会好像非常欣赏牡羊座的果决和豪爽，可是一旦进入一段认真的关係时，反而天秤座是比较义无反顾，但是反而牡羊座会摇摆不定。

天蝎座容易被射手座骗感情

：射手座表现非常热情大方直率，而且他投入感情的义无反顾看起来不输给天蝎，天蝎刚开始投入时外表还会表现有点冷澹，故意不理对方，而射手座好像可以卑恭屈膝，连尊严都不要的爱对方，可是射手座翻脸的时候却也是完全翻脸无情的，反而天蝎座是比较放不下，而射手座的无情会让天蝎座吓一跳。

射手座容易被巨蟹座骗感情

：巨蟹座属于老谋深算型，看起来非常的老实好欺负，但是射手座遇到巨蟹座时绝对想不到巨蟹座是扮猪吃老虎，样样看起来就像个弱者，凡事都需要射手座的照顾，可是最后会发现巨蟹什麽都会，祇是没有看到而已。

魔羯座容易被双子座骗感情

：魔羯座的人对于越简单的人就越容易洞悉对方控制对方，可是于到双子座这样複杂的人，一下子冷一下子热，下子很活泼，一下子又很孤傲，这时魔羯座就会因为看不清楚状况而被双子座吃的死死的。

水瓶座容易被金牛座骗感情

：金牛座表现出的样子非常安定，这会让水瓶座非常安心，可是金牛座属于安定之后就不会对对方像以前那麽热情，可能会开始去发展自己的人际关係和事业，可是水瓶座会为了另一半改变自己的交友圈和整个环境，这时候他就会觉得金牛座对自己的爱情和真心怎麽跟自己不一样，而从而觉得金牛座看起来很老实其实满肚子歪主义。

双鱼座容易被处女座骗感情

：处女座的人如果对方越不理会自己他就会越想去讨好对方，可是双鱼座会宠爱对方，他一宠处女座就会开始拿翘了，这时候处女座感觉上就会变的很坏，有可能说变就变，反而去追逐自己追不上的对象。

changes

2010-10-13T22:09:00.001+08:00

everything is impermanent.
nthg will ever stay the same.

we're humans, adapting is how we survived.

十二星座的眼泪

2010-10-13T15:36:00.000+08:00

Tears, :)

双子座——冰淇淋

双子座是乐天派，即使在掉眼泪，宣泄悲伤的时候，也会让人感受到眼泪之中的甜腻。他们的眼泪就像冰淇淋，无论涂上任何忧郁的色彩，尝一口仍然是无限的好心情。这也许就是双子座大哭一场后马上展开笑颜的小秘密吧。

-------------

白羊座——汗水

白羊座很少会因为伤心难过而掉眼泪，他们的眼泪多半是由于自己的努力获得了预想的成果，喜极而泣。白羊座的泪水通常是一份成功的证明，所以他们的泪水绝对不是悲伤的液体，而是辛勤耕耘的汗水。

金牛座——湖水

金牛座掉眼泪的样子楚楚动人，双眸犹如一汪湖水，清澈透明，晶莹玲珑。而他们的泪水也如同湖水幽静婉转，让在一旁看见的人儿无不心动。金牛座掉眼泪的时候也是他们最沉静，美丽的瞬间，那些令人沉醉的眼泪，就像湖水，掉落下来，映照着他们的灵魂。

双子座——冰淇淋

巨蟹座——雪水

巨蟹座的感情是缓慢的，沉静的，也是深刻的。遇见危难时，也许其它星座会为了各种目的奔前程，却只有巨蟹座默默的仍在做着无私奉献。然而，巨蟹座也会伤心，而当他们伤心掉眼泪时，他们的心也就彻底冰冷了，就像痛彻心肺的雪水。

狮子座——岩浆

狮子座是具有个人英雄主义的典范，而豪杰的标准就是无休止的坚强，即使在落泪的瞬间也要大气豪迈，不可阴柔婉转。所以，狮子座的眼泪绝不是流出来的，而是喷射出来的，带着雄浑的温度，在伤心时分仍宣泄着无穷无尽的热情，就像炽烈的岩浆。

处女座——雨水

处女座的细腻，让眼泪就像掉落的雨点，时而稀疏，时而紧密，让眼泪为心情操控，点点滴滴，四月的黄梅雨，七月的暴风雨，有时一个人月下独自伤悲，有时拉一个人的肩膀当枕头睡。而眼泪，绝对是，从秋到冬，春流到夏。

天秤座——泉水

天秤座无时无刻不在追求心灵中的美感，眼泪便是最好的装饰物，像泉水一般幽静纯粹，沉默中夹杂着欢腾，喜悦中带着忧伤。天秤座喜欢有艺术感的眼泪，有时他们流眼泪，不是因为悲伤，而是为了给平淡生活增加鲜活的动感美，没准儿那时的天秤座脑中想的就是油画《泉》。

天蝎座——硫酸

天蝎座不喜欢掉眼泪，也不轻易掉眼泪，他们更多的时候是想隐藏自己的情绪。然而当有一天他们流下了眼泪，必定是天崩地裂，非同小可，这时的眼泪完全是天蝎座愤怒和悲痛的混合液，杀伤力犹如一瓶浓硫酸。

射手座——污水

射手座流眼泪很少是因为悲伤，多半是为了排泄，把对现实的焦虑和不安的情绪当做污水一样，通过眼泪的形式排出体外。排泄完毕，射手座就拥有了好心情和再次出发的动力，射手座因此也是十二星座中最会调节自己情绪的群体。

魔羯座——铁水

魔羯座的眼泪不会因为痴男怨女的爱恨情仇，而必定是对自己在现实中表现的失望，当他们流下眼泪时，顺带着也下定了决心，泪落之后，便成了不变的座右铭。就像铁水，一旦凝固，就如同魔羯座的信念，决不改变。

水瓶座——海水

水瓶座是十二星座里最喜欢掉眼泪的一个群体，因为他们的心意，理念总无法让周围的人彻底理解，或者情感错位，或者怀才不遇，终究全化成了泪水。他们的眼泪咸涩，难懂，却如同海水一般，流不完，不知天涯何处是尽头。

双鱼座——珍珠

双鱼座的心思纯净美好，就像童话中的人鱼公主，鱼儿的眼泪也多半为了真挚的情感和美丽的爱情，因此，他们的眼泪晶莹剔透，凝聚着人间最超越世俗的想象。掉落下来，簌簌的，就像一粒粒珍珠，纯粹得让人无法触碰，美好得让一点点的俗念立刻烟消云散。如果一个双鱼座的人把眼泪送给你，请小心收在心里。

I Would Trade - Clarensau

2010-10-11T21:00:00.002+08:00

Indra shared with me this song.
I love his song selection, from the 1st time i met him

till now, his 1st play list to me is still my fav.
As the rhythm of the acoustic guitar strum in my ears, i cant help but feel for this indie song.
Feelings so raw, affection so endearing.

The most beautiful thing about a song?
Is the fact that songs can bring back visuals & memories.
How a song connects to you... thats how good a song can be.

Everyone lost someone special before, or almost lost someone you loved.
This song brought me back to the cold hospital rooms, beeping of machines.
The hopefull yet hopeless sense of wishing, praying, hoping that everything would be fine.
How we frantically search for signs of the next step.
What should we do?
What can we do?

This song brought me back to the moments before she left.
This songs brought me back to the last few moments of her life with us.

I miss you amah.
&amp;amp;lt;a href="http://clarensau.bandcamp.com/track/i-would-trade"&amp;amp;gt;I Would Trade by Clarensau&amp;amp;lt;/a&amp;amp;gt;
I Would Trade - Clarensau

Another night in the waiting room
You’re fifty feet from me but I still miss you
Your body sleeps in that scary room
Unaware of the doctors that trying to save you

What can I do but wait
What can I do but pray

And I would trade all of my days to take the pain away
I would trade all of my days to take the pain away

Another night of restless sleep
When I wake will you still be here with me?
I’m looking for a sign of life
You squeeze my hand and maybe open your eyes

What can I do but wait
What can I do but pray

And I would trade all of my days to take the pain away
I would trade all of my days to take the pain away (Repeat till fade)

活得好更多

2010-10-08T13:13:00.000+08:00

如果分手沒痛楚　我怕你　到永遠　也會等我
如果今天起憎我　仇恨我　歧視我　明日你會更易再愛人
平伏這個美麗心魔　餘生可以好好過
如果忍不住痛楚　當我錯　當我錯　會更好過
如果必須想起我　仇恨我　歧視我　懷念過去快樂太折磨
無謂美化昨日戀歌　拿報復者的決心　活得好更多

as if you dun feel fugly enough?

2010-10-08T11:01:00.002+08:00

----------------------------WARNING-------------------------------
-----------------------RANTING POST AHEAD--------------------

sometimes you say things like
"ah, screw them la~"
"they dunno what they're saying."
"they dun understand ma."

simply because they are outsiders and you wouldn't care about their 2 cents worth / 1 ringgit worth of opinion. simply because they dun mean nuts to you.

i do that too. which is probably why i'm always very detached to alot of ppl.
strangely enough, i'm actually not that indifferent.

what people think do effect me. what people say do hurt me.
its just that only people i deem as "important" has that control over my emotions.
people that matters, family, close friends. they mean the world.
and it jus hurts like a steel knife chugged down your throat when they as things like that.
as u try to not be a baby and be more sporting, you try ur hardest to swallow that steel knife in ur throat without crying or whining.

suck it up babe.
they dun understand.
but shouldnt they?
i mean, this is coming from the same person that'd say smthg like "family means, no matter what shit u end up with, they'll back you up."
really?
doesn't it cracks you up how ironic some situations can be?

i guess, if it doesnt suck, its not life huh?
life is about ppl telling you how inadequate you are.
life is about ppl telling you how you're never good enough.
life is about ppl showing you how they can do better than you.
life is about ppl complaining that you're not trying to hard enough.
life is about ppl judging you if you're worth 2 minutes of their time.
life is about ppl criticizing you in front and behind you.
life is about ppl telling you "u can do it! :)" but actually meaning to say "simple only la, if u cant do it ur plain dumb la"
life is about ppl saying, "try to understand our situation" when they mean "this is nt worth my time, i'm already being nice, please shoooo! go away".
life is about trying to prove to the whole world that ur strong.
while deep down inside, u even doubt the reason and purpose WHY YOU'RE DOING THIS?

looking back, why are these bugging me again?
simply because they echo what i think of myself.
i really do not understand (i try as i may) why do i have so low self worth?
i dun see me being adequate enough. i dun see me being good enough.
i dun see me being... enough.
this amount of self loathing is very destructing.
really.

u can ask the panadols & happy pills i eat daily to stop rashes & thumping headaches.

blergh! too much emotions girl.
take a drink, a deep breath, cry it all out and u're OK to go!
:)

你不知道的事

2010-10-06T12:57:00.000+08:00

你不知道我为什么离开你

我坚持不能说放任你哭泣

你的泪滴像倾盆大雨

碎了满地在心里清晰

你不知道我为什么狠下心

盘旋在你看不见的高空里

多的是你不知道的事

3 and a half bottle of beers

2010-10-03T20:11:00.004+08:00

phuket thailand.

sun sea sand

and a whole lot of funky crazy work stressed people

crazy people

alcohol

booze

black underwears under sheer white mini skirts

pole dancers

through the night

they conquered PHuuuUUUket la~

i was never a very "happening" person

not keen on the rowdy scenes as well

fun tho. even for a lil while.

to let loose.

shake it all off

(stress i mean)

garden overlooking the whole patong beach

bangla street's music thumping along

laughters and giggles from people walking downstairs

clear dark sky

stars up above

moonlight shines through

mild warm sea breeze

3 and a half bottles of beer

serene

peace

warm

comfortable

safe

i'm happy

That Okay Song

2010-09-27T21:47:00.001+08:00

Hey, it's OK. We gotta live for a better day.
now we give a lil ♥ and we're on our way.
kita kaotim everything. badapalaweh.

u say dun play play, kita mudah lupa baru we say NAY!
now we got a lil ♥, keep it on reply.
U say semua x boleh tapi we all OK. :)

mid autumn festival

2010-09-18T02:07:00.002+08:00

every year during this time.

i think of you alot.

how u'd wear the suit "samfu" with pretty flowers.

how u'd make us quilt blankets, everyone of us.

how u'd tell us stories about all the has beens.

and how u'd smile no matter what as long as we're together.

I rmb sitting outside in the garden.

all of us.

as we munched on a whole lot of gift mooncakes.

u'd steam yams and "bull's horns".

we'd drink beer and sweet potato soup.

some groundnuts, char yeh tan (herbal egg) occasionally.

i rmb playing with those litted folded paper tanglungs.

as they sway in the air with the candle burning in them

as we ran out of places to hang them,

u'd forbid us from going anywhere near ur plants.

you have the most beautiful plants and flowers.

you garden was always blooming.

how every pot is delicately and carefully trimmed and taken care off.

indeed it was a garden of love.

and yet, we'd still find ways to ruin it.

i cant rmb how many times my tanglungs burned ur flowers.

yet u'd only be mad a little while.

guess u love me more than them?

hoho.

i really miss u.

really really i do.

as tears welled up in my eyes when i was looking up in the sky today.

i cant help but wonder...

amah, are you still there watching over us?

would u still be around?

i miss u dearly.

as the half moon glisten in the night, tonight the clouds din hide you away.

as the moon shone oh so brightly tonight, my heart ached with emptiness.

how i wished i could jus picked up the phone and call....

"hello amah, slept d a?..."

how i wished that i could drive down to usj and u'd still be there... sitting in the hall watching wahlaitoi.

its been 4 yrs my dear.

4 yrs already.

its evident that we still miss u tremendously.

i really do wish u'd still be here.

You

2010-09-17T19:00:00.000+08:00

habit?

got use to it?

why i do sometimes still miss having u around?

urgh.

note to self: will get better.

worth a re-watch

2010-09-16T16:48:00.001+08:00

小压与小松

2010-09-15T21:41:00.003+08:00

Xiao Ya Yu Xiao Song | Upload Music

Waaaa... Moon Jie Jie & Loving Tree very geng a! Gt song de wo!!
http://lovingtree-family.blogspot.com/

小压与小松 (Lil' Stress & Lil' Relax)
词：邱满媚
曲：陈厚松

松松松松松松我怎么担心啦
Lil Relax, why are you worried?
压压压压压压深呼吸一下吧
Lil Stress, breathe in deep and stay calm.

松松松松松松你怎么做到呀
Lil Relax, how do you do it?
压压压压压压放松3分钟阿
Lil Stress, chill la for 3 minutes!

有压力有动力小压不怕啦
A little stress & pressure push you further, don't be afraid of Lil Stress.
有放松有平静小松做到啦
A little relaxation gives you peace, Lil Relax did it already!

有准备有目标小压勇敢啦
With preparation you'll aim high, be brave Lil Stress.
有方法有信心小松快乐啦
With the right methods & confidence, Lil Relax is happy now!

啦啦啦啦啦啦我们一同努力吧！
Lalala Lalala Lets work hard together!
啦啦啦啦啦啦我们一起加油吧！
Lalala Lalala Lets cheer each other!

[在孩子的世界，担心，害怕是他们压力的反应，这是成长过程中必然面对的。我们不希望孩子抗拒，排斥压力，而是希望孩子可以认识另一个生命中重要的方法~~放松。
In a child's eyes, worry and fear is their reaction to stress & pressure. But all these are whats life is made off, everyone goes through it. We do not wish that our children will avoid and reject stress, we hope they will learn to know another important component of life - "Calm yourself".

小压没有放松方法很难独立成长，小松没有目标也很难独立成长。所以小压与小松需要一起共行，勇敢地面对成长过程，让快乐与爱从心中开始发芽。
Lil Stress will not grow if he cannot find the the way to calm himself down. Lil Relax will not succeed if he cannot find his aims & directions. That's why, Lil Stress & Lil Relax need to work together. Be brave and confront these paths of life and you will grow. Let happiness & love grow from your heart. ]

ice cream

2010-09-14T22:27:00.003+08:00

the ice cream man.
nostalgic.

no, not the typical "mat kool mat kool kawan kuuuu!".
the old ice cream, with his bike and a bell that going "tingling-a ling- a ling-a ling"
he din sell cornetto or drumstick all that jazz.
it was icecream.
jagung
yam
strawberry
vanilla
chocolate
on plastic-like cones or even with bread!
THAT ice cream man.

i remember when amah was still around, we'd go walk in Tanjung Emas Muar.
How ice cream melts so fast I usually only manage to eat half of them.
How the wind would blow in your hair while a bunch of young teens would ride along the coast with their bikes.
How the apek uncles would be fishing by the side and I'd spy on them, wondering what the heck would still be alive in that dirty water.
Amah Yehyeh always did shower us with love & care.
Nonetheless, we weren't necessarily spoilt (ok.. maybe just a little)
but we learn to appreciate, love, forgive & respect.
Family comes 1st.
always.

That's what I got from her the most.
Family trips.
How she loved them.
We'd make it a point to travel every year, the whole ching-bang of a family.
from my aunts, to my uncles, cousins & siblings.
Even the ones that are not in Malaysia.
Trips like these always cheers her up.

My grandmother was a very poise lady.
From her cursive writing, her calligraphy, details in her crafts and cross-stitch, even to the way she precisely pronounced her English.
But she is also bold and daring, sporting and most of all loving.
I remember my grandmother drinking Tiger Beers & Ngan Yin groundnuts during one of our gatherings.
wow... boy oh boy.... she is amazing.

Our family trips always had a lot of people.
we're a huge family!
we could easily pao 1 whole floor or 1 whole apartment of 5-6 rooms for our trips.
and every night, we'd bring beer, junk food & snacks over to the HQ room.
where the adults drink and chat, and the kids ... well... we played. :P
those were the days.

endearing and heart warming.
family dinners are worth rushing back to.
family trips are worth making time for.
family are people who'd never turn their backs on you.

family.
:)

p/s: i miss you amah.

放手

2010-09-14T03:00:00.003+08:00

很多蝴蝶，我看到；

谢谢你。

“如果我爱你成为你的负担，
如果你想要有翅膀自由飞翔，
我会用我的爱让我离开，
为了你离开你。”

看到了心很痛。

不想再给解释了。

不想再给借口了。

就只是累了。

对不起，伤害了你。

谢谢你，包容了我。

爱。。。半夜3点了，我又睡不着了。

For you

2010-09-09T15:58:00.003+08:00

Remember all the things we wanted
Now all our memories, they're haunted
We were always meant to say goodbye
Even with our fists held high
It never would have worked out right, yeah
We were never meant for do or die... 

I didn't want us to burn out
I didn't come here to hurt you now I can't stop... 

I want you to know
It doesn't matter where we take this road
Someone's gotta go
And I want you to know
You couldn't have loved me better
But I want you to move on
So I'm already gone 

Looking at you makes it harder
But I know that you'll find another
That doesn't always make you wanna cry

It started with the perfect kiss then
We could feel the poison set in
"Perfect" couldn't keep this love alive
You know that I love you so
I love you enough to let you go 

I want you to know
It doesn't matter where we take this road
Someone's gotta go
And I want you to know
You couldn't have loved me better
But I want you to move on
So I'm already gone 

You can't make it feel right
When you know that it's wrong
I'm already gone, already gone
There's no moving on
So I'm already gone

emotions

2010-09-06T14:18:00.003+08:00

argh!
i hate emotions.
i hate feeling weak.
i hate it!
hate it!

i hate emptiness.
i hate guilt.
i hate sadness.
i hate pain.
i hate agony.
i hate all these shit.

what about happiness you'd ask?
well, happiness jus makes the emptiness worst doesnt it?

urgh

time to switch mode.

enough said

2010-09-06T10:42:00.001+08:00

let's just stop.
too much to handle.

said it.

2010-09-06T00:03:00.000+08:00

so... you had a bad day?

2010-09-03T17:57:00.000+08:00

having a series of bad days.

hmmmm...

when will they end?

O.o

songs that struck me nowadays.

2010-09-03T11:16:00.001+08:00

转变
changes

These days, some songs brings me into perspective.
They calm me and sooth me.
*breathe*

Just sharing some good tunes.

词曲：黄康淇
主唱：黄康淇小提琴：Lim Hui
制作/编曲/配唱/混音：三明治
OP: Pigeon House Production

我曾经悲伤见到美好一天落幕
I was sadden, seeing some so beautiful come to an end.
我还会犹豫好与坏如何看清楚
I still doubt, if i cant differentiate the difference between the good and the bad.
原来这些都像云一般会飘过
But actually all these will float by just like the flying clouds.
转眼化成了雨回归了大地
In a blink of an eye, they will become rain, coming back full circle to the ground.

我曾经失落当梦想变成了泡沫
I was depressed, when dreams became nothing but mere fantasies.
我还会疑惑快乐后又回到落寞
I still struggle with the transitions from happiness to emptiness
原来这些就像春天盛开的花
But all these are like flowers blooming in spring time
转眼在冬天化成了雪反照了内心
In a blink of an eye, winter comes and so does snow, reflecting your thoughts and your heart.

~~~~

我在生活中明白许多还不够
In my life, i understand a lot of things are "never enough"
生命会有起落欢乐后又悲伤
There will always be ups and downs ; happiness & sadness.
当我开始学习看开从大地学会自在
When I learn to take a step back and let go, I start to feel freedom.
明白了终究在两个极端中找不到自己
Understand that, we can't find our self in between 2 extremes.
可是我在生活中明白这些还不够
But in my life, i understand all these are "never enough"
生命会有巨浪将我再一次沉没
Life will always have huge waves, attempting to drown and sink me in.
但我相信人生是有原因开始在呼吸间寻找
But I'll believe that all these challenges in life will serve a purpose,
breathe...and you will find them.
生命在手心间伸展出翅膀学习去飞翔
Life, in your hands, will stretch its wings...
and learn to fly.

~~~~

紧握是执著，放开是自在，
Holding on too tightly, by letting go you'll find comfort,
转换心念则转变人生，视透人生的悲欢起落，
A change of perspective and mindset will change your life, looking through life in all its changes,
我听到自在的生命在声声呼唤
I can hear peace & freedom call me.

The Wish Project

2010-09-02T23:04:00.004+08:00

While some of us will reach for the stars,
There will be those who need a helping hand.

Just like the sky that blankets us every night,
The Wish Project allows you to send your wishes,
thoughts, and hopes into cyberspace.

It doesnt matter what others think bout your wish.
What matters most is that it's yours.

Who knows, someone out there could make your wish come true...

When you reach for the stars you may not quite get one, but you won't come up with a handful of mud either.
-Leo Burnett
http://www.leoburnett.com.my/wishes/index.html

痛。

2010-09-01T21:18:00.003+08:00

看着你的短讯。
心真得很酸。
真的做错了吗？
我错了吗？

我不懂。
我只知道。。。现在拖着很辛苦。
我不需要你可怜。
我不需要别人代替来爱我。
谢谢你曾经给我幸福。

我了解，我知道。
句号到了。
不能回头了。
那我想要忘记。
我想要彻底。

你会好好的。
没有说谁没有了谁就活不下去。
你会相通的。
你会熬过去的。

缘聚缘散，至少曾经有过。
你会没事的。
照顾自己。
真的。

did you?

2010-09-01T20:37:00.002+08:00

ever walked down a long road, and fall into a pit hurting yourself?
i did.

ever since then, you wouldn't dare wander off onto any roads alone again.
you wouldn't dare to ever TRY and skip around an unfamiliar path.
after a few rounds, kinda kill u inside.
you wouldn't dare to have fun; take a risk anymore.

if you know there's gonna be a pit in front.
and you know you can never ever ever go past it.
no matter how you've tried to patch it up or use a rope or build a bridge.
soon... you jus dun even wanna use that road anymore.

沒那麼簡單

2010-09-01T11:35:00.000+08:00

希望给了。很多次了。
已经四年了。太多了。
我不信了。我不要了。
我不敢了。我不要天真了。
我不要痛了。

1988

2010-08-31T11:08:00.000+08:00

Just saw this site from Karen's blog.
It tells you what happened the year you were born.

I was born on 1988.
When I was born, Tom Cruise was in the most famous movie then.
And when I was 15, Tom Cruise was again in the most famous show them.
WAhahahahah.

When i was 15, I was in love with this prefect.
He was artistic & caring. He got me into loving art.
Abit too protective, but damn kao macho.

wahahah.
When I was 15, it wasnt This is The Night by Clay Aiken.
The song was If You're not the one By Daniel Bedingfield.
Hahahahha. because I think Clay Aiken was a Softie. HAH!

Interesting read. :) Give it a try!

择

2010-08-30T10:33:00.002+08:00

择
decisions/choices

词曲：黄康淇

主唱：阿顺

吉他：Jamie Wilson 贝斯：Khoon

鼓：Martin Ngim 和声：阿顺

制作/编曲/配唱/混音：三明治
OP: Pigeon House Production

在这午夜时分依然合不着眼的我
its late at night, and you still can't close your eyes to rest.
唯有眼睁睁地让时针转动
staring blankly at the clock on the wall ticking away.
心中的忧虑和心中的困惑
all the worries and doubts you had,
也该轻轻地搁在一个角落
are put aside to a little corner
过去的烦恼和如今的难题
frustrations in the past, and issues faced today...
也该随着时针悄悄地逝去
should also go as the clock ticks away.
我们的情怀和我们的命运
our emotions, and our destiny,
就让今夜的心做决定
let your heart tonight make the decision.
~~~~

告诉自己什么最重要
tell yourself, what is most important now?
什么该放手什么该不屈不挠
somethings we need to let go, some we need to strive.

告诉自己什么最重要
tell yourself, what is more important now?

什么该让因缘来观照
and the rest, lets let fate bring us along.
告诉自己什么最重要
tell yourself, whats more important to you?
什么该潇洒什么该用心得到
sometimes we need to be casual and let things go, somethings we need to really put effort to achieve.
告诉自己什么最重要
tell yourself, whats more important now.
什么该让悲智来觉照
somethings, why not just let love & compassion take the lead?

~~~~

***
人生时刻处在选择的十字路口，
什么时候该做什么、该要什么，
什么时候不做什么、不要什么，
意志与心念，历练我做抉择。
In our journey, we are always stopping at crossroads.
Right now, what should we do? what should we desire?
Right now, what shouldn't be done? what we should let go?
experience, determination & mindful state of mind, will teach you how to make a decision.
***

loves

2010-08-29T15:35:00.000+08:00

this is what i want.
:)

孫燕姿 - 我不難過

2010-08-27T19:54:00.000+08:00

PD marilah~

2010-08-27T15:34:00.000+08:00

PD is coming oh so near.
I'm excited.

:P
finally a break!

Pray for You - Jaron and The Long Road to Love :: Official Video

2010-08-27T11:47:00.000+08:00

Worst break up song ever.
So much HIDDEN anger & spite.
LOL

and ppl say WOMEN are the worst to handle a breakup!??

"I pray your brakes go out
Running down a hill
I pray and flower pot falls
From a window sill
And knocks you in the head like Id like to
I pray your birthday comes and nobody calls
I pray your flying high when your engine stalls
I pray all your dreams never come true
Just know wherever you are
Honey, I pray for you"

Nightmares bugging me

2010-08-27T11:14:00.003+08:00

Woi. i need to sleep.
quite bugging me.
let me sleep!!

GGrr...

woke up at 6 am this morn. urgh...
feels like crap.
felt like i can jus lie in my bed and rot.

sometimes it does feels like my bed can & will eat me alive.
(or the balance of "life" i have).
----------------------------------------------------------

let this be over.
watever happened to the days when u can jus wake up and smile?
roll in under the covers as u rub ur feet together?
AAAaaa~~~

snores

:)

2010-08-25T08:28:00.000+08:00

today is going to be a good day.
as long as i believe it, it will be.

come what may, i'll be alright.
:)

btw, i love playgrounds.
i love lying on the padang as i watched the clouds fly by.
i love sitting in the swing with breeze in my hair.
i love jus chilling there with a bottle of coke, under a tree during a breezy evening.

maybe i'll go to the playground today.
:)
any takers?

loves Superman

2010-08-24T17:31:00.000+08:00

Joe Brooks - Superman.

Not my normal usual Macho man.
But his voice is very nice.
interesting.

good lyrics too. :)

"If I could be your superman,
I'd fly you to the stars and back again.
'cause everytime you touched my hand,
You feel my powers running through your veins.
But I can only write this song,
And tell you that I'm not that strong.
'Cause I'm no superman, I hope you like me as I am".

one day

2010-08-23T22:40:00.000+08:00

you'll find peace and serenity.
you will.
don't worry.

burn

2010-08-23T21:01:00.000+08:00

chemical burns.

burnsssss.

burnt.

ouch

somewhere

2010-08-21T22:38:00.000+08:00

there will be hope.
you just need to believe it.
and u will find it.

set me free....

2010-08-20T15:19:00.002+08:00

ever wondered how long would it take.
to finally be set free?

here's the ironic part.
no one in hold on but u!

sometimes we get so caught up in every lil emotion and feeling.
and we refuse to let it go.
but to let it dwell and continue fueling - now tats disastrous.

we'd always complain...
why wouldn't u let me go?
why wouldn't you cut me some slack?
why wouldn't you give me a break?
WHY!!!

* breathe*
take a step back.
whose giving who a hard time?

:)
yourself.

70/30 my boss said.
when u tink u've tried ur best, let it go.
no need to push u self till ur against the wall.
why put urself thru such misery, especially over things that u cant control??!!
everything is impermanent.

The only one that can make you happy, truly happy.
is YOURSELF and how u see this world.
NOT how others see u.

we just need to survive

2010-08-18T22:37:00.000+08:00

remind yourself daily that you're a fighter.

take me away

2010-08-17T11:18:00.003+08:00

PD dun fail me now.
take me away.
sun on my head.
wind in my face.
salt in my hair.
sand in my underwear.

everything.
Please happen!

step by step

2010-08-16T22:32:00.001+08:00

breathe.

superheroes

2010-08-16T13:51:00.000+08:00

The man that cooks.

2010-08-04T14:50:00.002+08:00

bro's been cooking these days.
:)

ngo hou fang fuk a!!
hehe.
he has this ridiculus liking to UBER SUPER SPICY food all the time.
O.o
can dieeeee....
still nice la! i jus need to drink alot alot alot alot alot alot of water.
:P

there's smthg ridiculously awesome about a man that can cook. :)
---------------

went out with mandy n phoebe ages ago. we went to watch "despicable me".
WOohooo!
COMELLLLL!! :P

They went to toilet for like 10 mins and I got myself some cute flats!
see??? *whack!*

so not me right?
xpe xpe... comfy shoes... even its so cute i NEED courage to wear it.
its comfy.

:)

MirrorMask (2005)

2010-08-02T17:14:00.002+08:00

I remember watching this in college.
Awesome nonetheless. The graphics... how surreal fantasy blends in with reality...
amazing.

"Onwards and Upwards!"

Trailer~

Tuesdays with Morrie

2010-08-02T11:05:00.004+08:00

Old book... I know.
In fact it's not even mine. :)
but i thank the person who passed me the book.
a teacher indeed.

ever had someone who connected with you from the very start?
no need to be related, no need to be even "besties".
but you'd click instantly. :)
a teacher, a parent, a grandparent or just a friend.
Someone older, patient and wise, who understood you when you were young and searching, helped you see the world as a more profound place, gave you sound advice to help you make your way through it.

As the world got colder, and everything seems so busy. We'd go on and on with our lives chasing things which we think are important. then we get tired.... Wouldn't you like to see that person again, ask the bigger questions that still haunt you, receive wisdom for your busy life today the way you once did when you were younger?

Mitch Albom had that second chance. Months before his death, he met Morrie again. Knowing he was dying, Morrie sees with Mitch in his study every Tuesday, just as they used to back in college. Their rekindled relationship turned into one final "class": lessons in how to live.

A few quotes which hit me right at the spot. i love them indeed.

On Getting Meaning into Life:

"So many people walk around with a meaningless life. They seem half-asleep, even when they're busy doing things they think are important. This is because they're chasing the wrong things. The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning." (p.43)

On Culture:

"People are only mean when they're threatened, and that's what our culture does...And when you get threatened, you start looking out only for yourself. You start making money a god. It is all part of this culture." (p.42)
***
"The culture we have does not make people feel good about themselves. And you have to be strong enough to say if the culture doesn't work, don't buy it." (p.42)

On Status and Showing Off:

"...if you're trying to show off for people at the top, forget it. They will look down on you anyhow. And if you're trying to show off for people at the bottom, forget it. They will only envy you. Status will get you nowhere. Only an open heart will allow you to float equally between everyone." (p.127)

On Being Number Two:

"What's wrong with being number two?" (p.159)

On Material Things:

"Don't cling to things, because everything is impermanent." (p.103)
* * *
"You can't substitute material things for love or for gentleness or for tenderness or for a sense of comradeship." (p.125)

On Family:

"The fact is, there is no foundation, no secure ground, upon which people may stand today if it isn't the family." (p.91)
* * *
"If you don't have the support and love and caring and concern that you get from a family, you don't have much at all. Love is so supremely important." (p.91)

On Emotions:

"If you hold back on the emotions--if you don't allow yourself to go all the way through them--you can never get to being detached, you're too busy being afraid." (p.104)

On Love:

"Love wins. Love always wins." (p.40)
* * *
"Love each other or die." (p.163)

On Relationships:

"There is no formula to relationships. They have to be negotiated in loving ways, with room for both parties, what they want and what they need, what they can do and what their life is like." (p.177,178)

On Forgiveness:

"Forgive yourself before you die. Then forgive others." (p.164)
* * *
"We...need to forgive ourselves...For all the things we didn't do. All the things we should have done. You can't get stuck on the regrets of what should have happened." (p.166)

On Most Important Thing in Life:

"The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in." (p.52)

On Trust:

"...if you are ever going to have other people trust you, you must feel that you can trust them, too--even when you're in the dark." (p.61)

On Friendship:

"...we've had thirty-five years of friendship. You don't need speech or hearing to feel that." (p.71)

On Dying and Living:

"Don't let go too soon but, but don't hang on too long." (p.162)

On Aging:

"You have to find what's good and true and beautiful in your life as it is now. Looking back makes you competitive. And, age is not a competitive issue." (p.120)

On Immortality:

"...love is how you stay alive, even after you are gone." (p.133)

On Marriage:

"...there are a few rules I know to be true about love and marriage: If you don't respect the other person, you're gonna have a lot of trouble. If you don't know how to compromise, you're gonna have a lot of trouble. If you can't talk openly about what goes on between you, you're gonna have a lot of trouble. And if you don't have a common set of values in life, you're gonna have a lot of trouble. Your values must be alike." (p.149)
* * *
"I think marriage is a very important thing to do, and you're missing a hell of a lot if you don't try it." (p.149)

On Death :

"Death ends a life, not a relationship." (p.174)

-Mitch Albom

changes

2010-08-01T16:00:00.002+08:00

as changes moves in...

you'd start to tink.

as changes moves in...

you' start to squirm.

nthg is permanent.

tats a fact.

everything is ever changing.

"wu" - nothingness is constantly being reminded.

why do we hold on relentlessly to every little thing?

material, success, accomplishment, status, relationship, people.

so what do we really hold on to for sanity?

ourselves.

set aside these frustrations.

set aside these distractions.

set aside these expectations.

set aside these emotions.

what do you really want?

who are you ... really?

where's your passion?

then hopefully, everything is clear.

United to Freeze Tiger Trade

2010-07-31T20:14:00.001+08:00

Tamia - Officially Missing You (Sing-a-long)

2010-07-27T16:44:00.000+08:00

i wanna scream and shout

2010-07-19T20:36:00.002+08:00

go away.
ur annoying me.

y am i expected to do everything u asked.
eventho everything is so constrained.

i'm not a superhero, yet u expect me to be.
and ur not even nice.

i just wanna to breakdown and cry.
so please let me.

before i run amok and start cutting ppl into bloody pieces.
strangling them with their own intestines.
grinding them into paste.

so just leave me please?
i'm begging you.
so jus give me this space.
because i need it.

i miss my girl friends

2010-07-16T20:44:00.003+08:00

need i say more?

really as simple as it is?

2010-07-15T10:50:00.000+08:00

evaine's new room. :)

2010-07-13T16:23:00.003+08:00

This morning....
:)

From:	Evaine Tan
To:	chrisyeowc@gmail.com, ycynthia@maxis.com.my, caryn.yeo@leoburnett.com.my
Date:	11-07-10 06:56 PM
Subject:	my own room

hi auntie, hi uncle,
my mummy and papa said I am a big girl now and I can have my own room already.
check out my new room!

love,little evaine

-------------------------------------------------------------

From: Caryn Yeo
Date: Tue, 13 Jul 2010 15:29:25 +0800
To: Evaine Tan
Cc: ;
Subject: Re: my own room
1st of all.
OMG evaine has email!!!

2nd of all, the room is adorable!!
that day i go sis hse to bath oso din see geh!!!

Best Regards,
Caryn Yeo | Executive | Brand Management

--------------------------------------------------------------

From: evaine.tanly@gmail.com
To: "Caryn Yeo"
Cc: "Christopher Yeo" , "Cynthia Yeo"
Date: 13-07-10 03:42 PM
Subject: Re: my own room

That day I haven't become big girl maaa... I'm 4 months old already!Next time please come see my pretty room when you come visit us. Today got an additional flower light.You'll have to ask me if you wanna bathe in my bathroom next time. But I'll let you bathe dun worry bae yee, Just have to be softer so that you dun disturb my beauty sleep cuz most probably I'll sleeping soundly.Little Evaine
Sent by Maxis from my BlackBerry® smartphone

in your arms

2010-07-13T14:58:00.000+08:00

i wish i was

-3niGma-

For The First Time

Death

The Case of the Bintik Ayam

i've got a feeling

Happy New Year 2011

每一步的終結 就是下一步的開始

Don't Forget Innocence

冬至归窝

Noël à Leo Burnett

Hugs & Kisses! XOXO

POPOPOPOPOKKKSSSSS!!!!!

Walk in the park

thank you

《老師的十二樣見面禮》

Tyler Hilton - Keep On

demons

far away

All Tangled Up. :)

"no comment"

ensemble

fear

wake up

"If you always watch the demons behind you,then you will never see the angels ahead."

rain on me

10 years from now.

enough said aint it? :)

Rainbows

home

whine and wallow in self pity

Not Afraid

siao tah por

I wanna be...

The Band Perry - If I Die Young

I cried like chicken shit.

“代替品”不好做。

full circle

Xie Xie Ni De Ai ( 謝謝你的愛 ) - Li Xin Jie

assumptions.

没关系

i'm the king of the world

me?

KiaOra!

dreamers.

happy birthday to you.

12星不可触碰的感情雷区

finding ways

The Cracked pot

十二星座女孩谁挑男人最不准

people come and people go

十二星座：最容易被谁骗感情

changes

十二星座的眼泪

I Would Trade - Clarensau

活得好更多

as if you dun feel fugly enough?

你不知道的事

3 and a half bottle of beers

That Okay Song

Hey, it's OK. We gotta live for a better day.now we give a lil ♥ and we're on our way.kita kaotim everything. badapalaweh.

u say dun play play, kita mudah lupa baru we say NAY!now we got a lil ♥, keep it on reply.U say semua x boleh tapi we all OK. :)

mid autumn festival

You

worth a re-watch

小压与小松

ice cream

放手

For you

emotions

enough said

said it.

so... you had a bad day?

songs that struck me nowadays.

转变changes

The Wish Project

痛。

did you?

沒那麼簡單

1988

择

每一步的終結就是下一步的開始

"If you always watch the demons behind you,
then you will never see the angels ahead."

Hey, it's OK. We gotta live for a better day.
now we give a lil ♥ and we're on our way.
kita kaotim everything. badapalaweh.

u say dun play play, kita mudah lupa baru we say NAY!
now we got a lil ♥, keep it on reply.
U say semua x boleh tapi we all OK. :)

转变
changes

择
decisions/choices